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Old 11-01-2009, 00:54   #1076
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Last edited by Geeorge; 02-05-2010 at 03:05..
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Old 11-01-2009, 05:27   #1077
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
...
Yesterday morning I finished up some computer work I had to do and was feeling almost numb so I sat down and started thinking about things, then I went back and read some of the posts in here like the one from Silent_Runner and some conversations I've had. I was thinking about stuff the docs and my medic from the convoy said to me and the floodgates just opened up again. Maybe not quite like before, but they let go. I had thought I was cried out, apparently not. I hope I finish soon, but really hope I get it all out.
You'll get it out, but it will take some time. I know it seems to take up all your time these days, but it is slowing down, (going by your posts,) and will continue to do so.

I keep thinking of the medic'e remark about me being "this side of a tombstone" and it bothers me. OTOH, if the guy was here on GT I might have made a sig line out of that remark just because.....
Why does it bother you? You need to figure that out.

I had no nightmares last night, but that was because I didn't go to sleep at all. therefore I'm happy to bid you all a Good Night and take myself in for knock-out night.
You need to sleep on your own, as the drugged sleep after you got to Baghdad is part of what caused you to be where you are. I know the nightmares are terrible (well, I don't know, but I've got a guess,) but you HAVE to have that sleep without the drugs for the nightmares to work themselves out. Your body needs the sleep that the drugs give, but your mind needs to be undrugged to get the rest it needs to finally get the nightmares out. That is why the doctor only does the drugged sleep every other night. And according to your posts, he's already told you that.

Your recent relapse was at least partially because you were avoiding sleep on your non-drugged nights. Nightmares are no fun, but they are still a part of how your body and mind works out of this problem. If I could be there and hold you, I would. I can't be, so I try to pray extra for you on those nights.

Right now, you're so afraid of nightmares that you're back in the "fear of fear" mode. Tears are one method we use to get over bad times, dreams and (non-drug induced) nightmares are another, like it or not.

When you go to sleep, just imagine a few thousand of us cradling you in our arms. And when you wake up, remember, terrifying as the dream was, it wasn't real, and lots of people are STILL cradling you in our arms. (And that IS real, long distance or not.)

Sleep. Remember that the nightmares aren't real, but the love is.

Love, even more prayers, and lots of (gentle)

Hawk
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Old 11-01-2009, 06:08   #1078
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Just stopped by to offer more sincere prayers and very best wishes. I dont say much cawz I kant tipe or spel two gud.
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Old 11-01-2009, 06:43   #1079
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
...When you go to sleep, just imagine a few thousand of us cradling you in our arms. ...
There's a nightmare........
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:24   #1080
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deadday View Post
Hey kiddo, I have just discovered an honest to God miracle drug....Mobic...it doesn't help my back at all, but nothing else hurts...my knees...my ankles...my shoulders....my chest....It's some super mondo time released anti inflamatory....I laid down in bed last night and thought to myself, 'holy ****, nothing hurts right now!!'
It's raining again today and I will definitely ask my doc about that. The name is familiar, I may have taken it before. You know they've tried a lot of meds on you when you don't even know what all you've had.


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sleep well
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<<< Hopes Lone Wolfe has a good night's rest and has pleasant dreams!

May Hypnos and Morpheus favor you tonight.

You're in my thoughts. Sleep tight!
.
Sleep yes, dreams, no. No dreams on knock-out night, thankfully. Now tonight's a different story.

Hypnos may be the god of sleep, but in Sparta they always put his picture close to death's picture. I hope you aren't trying to tell me something.....
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

Last edited by Lone_Wolfe; 11-02-2009 at 13:13..
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:34   #1081
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Hey there Lady_Wolfe,........

How goes it?
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:48   #1082
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Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
Hey there Lady_Wolfe,........

How goes it?

You want me to be honest or polite?........
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 11-01-2009, 10:56   #1083
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You want me to be honest or polite?........
I don't sugar coat it,....why should you?
PM me if ya need to.
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Old 11-01-2009, 12:10   #1084
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
You want me to be honest or polite?........
Polite is for strangers.

Honesty is for people who care. We care.

As far as sleep goes, I think you are so afraid of bad dreams that to an extent, you are making it self-fulfilling.

Visualization is one of the strongest mental tools we have. So when you try to sleep, even think about getting nightmares, or wake up from one, try a visualization.

Pick out a strong positive memory, or even make one up. Like this:

Since you know her, picture Silent Runner or someone you know and can visualize, holding you and rocking you. Maybe you are holding your cats. Feel the arms and the rocking, hear the purrs, and concentrate on that to the exclusion of anything else.

But whatever you visualize, make it comforting and positive. Write down the details if it helps you with the visualization. The mind cannot have negative and positive thoughts together, and your objective is to flush out the negative and replace with positive. Like a baseball runner seeing himself getting to home plate in a perfect slide, you are trying to program your mind in the direction you need to go.

It's not easy, but when you lay down, you need a visualization which doesn't allow you to think about getting nightmares. Grab it with both hands and hold on tight. It doesn't work the first time, and you need to work at it any time you are awake and able. But if you keep at it, you will do better, and you'll beat the nightmares and get good sleep.

Love, prayers and

Hawk
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Old 11-01-2009, 14:34   #1085
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Hi LW. When I was in the hospital and having those horrible nightmares that I told you about, a nurse gave me some good advice. I do this now, to be able to fall asleep and wonder if that has helped to keep my bad dreams to a minimum. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth slowly and think about a large pasture with beautiful horses grazing and a lovely wooded area behind it. The sun is setting and the crickets and tree frogs are making their evening sounds. It is lovely. It is the scene across the road from where I grew up. My horse was there. It really calms my heart rate and breathing down. Brown Hawk makes a valuable point.
gentle hugs sweet girl. My arms are there around you and so are Jesus' as you sleep.
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Old 11-01-2009, 18:44   #1086
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My calming/relaxation is:
(1) Breathe in while reciting any mantra in your minds, like Om Mani Padme Hum
(2) Hold that breath for one recitation
(3) breathe out for one recitation
(40 hold your breathe for one recitation

Your mantra can be anything that takes a few seconds to recite in your mind.

Eventually, I am relaxed or asleep.
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Old 11-01-2009, 19:12   #1087
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1) Serenity now.

2) Whoochee momma!

3) Butros-Butros Gali
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Old 11-01-2009, 22:17   #1088
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Originally Posted by Peace Warrior View Post
1) Serenity now.

2) Whoochee momma!

3) Butros-Butros Gali


Hmmmmmmmmm, better find out what that one means first. ...........




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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 11-01-2009, 22:25   #1089
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Kali calling..........Kali calling............. 9:20pm here, Daylight Savings Time included
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 11-01-2009, 22:36   #1090
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Hmmmmmmmmm, better find out what that one means first. ...........

A couple Seinfeld episode quotes strung together for affect.

startpage 'em, add seinfeld to the search, and they might come up in the results.
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Old 11-01-2009, 23:53   #1091
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Hmmmmmmmmm, better find out what that one means first. ...........




Former Secretary General of the UN (The bad guys )
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Old 11-02-2009, 01:32   #1092
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Best of luck to ya LW honey
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Old 11-02-2009, 02:06   #1093
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Well, fiddldede dedah....... guess who can't sleep tonight? It's after 1am Kali time including DST, my body is still a hour ahead of that, and nothing seems to make be able to drop off tonight. Plegh.
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 11-02-2009, 04:54   #1094
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Tried getting a landline call through about 3:40am Kali DST, but it only rang a few times and then went to a busy signal. Doesn;t look like you are stil logged in to GT like you were earlier. Maybe you have begun your day since it's roughly 2:30PM there or somesuch?

Okie Memorial Area


Okie Memorial Area

Took these this afternoon.
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I am slowly falling apart - I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start. You might think it's easy being me ... Sometimes I find myself shaking - In the middle of the night. And then it hits me and I can't - Even believe this is my life
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:36   #1095
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
Best of luck to ya LW honey: kiss:
Can I have a hug, okie?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MB-G26 View Post
Kali calling..........Kali calling............. 9:20pm here, Daylight Savings Time included : upeyes:

Tried getting a landline call through about 3:40am Kali DST, but it only rang a few times and then went to a busy signal. Doesn;t look like you are stil logged in to GT like you were earlier. Maybe you have begun your day since it's roughly 2:30PM there or somesuch?
I was in a meeting and couldn't answer this morning. Sorry.
I'm working on some stuff in the next room now, so I'm in and out. PM sent


Quote:
Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
I don't sugar coat it,....why should you?
PM me if ya need to. : hugs:
Some things are just best left unsaid


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
Polite is for strangers.

Honesty is for people who care. We care.

As far as sleep goes, I think you are so afraid of bad dreams that to an extent, you are making it self-fulfilling.

Visualization is one of the strongest mental tools we have. So when you try to sleep, even think about getting nightmares, or wake up from one, try a visualization.

Pick out a strong positive memory, or even make one up. Like this:

Since you know her, picture Silent Runner or someone you know and can visualize, holding you and rocking you. Maybe you are holding your cats. Feel the arms and the rocking, hear the purrs, and concentrate on that to the exclusion of anything else.

But whatever you visualize, make it comforting and positive. Write down the details if it helps you with the visualization. The mind cannot have negative and positive thoughts together, and your objective is to flush out the negative and replace with positive. Like a baseball runner seeing himself getting to home plate in a perfect slide, you are trying to program your mind in the direction you need to go.

It's not easy, but when you lay down, you need a visualization which doesn't allow you to think about getting nightmares. Grab it with both hands and hold on tight. It doesn't work the first time, and you need to work at it any time you are awake and able. But if you keep at it, you will do better, and you'll beat the nightmares and get good sleep.

Love, prayers and

Hawk
I appreciate that Hawk, but I couldn’t bring myself to write the things I was thinking last night. I screamed a little bit of it at poor Silent_Runner instead. I think she’s ready to disown me.

OK, so nightmares cause me to fear nightmares, now fear of nightmares causes nightmares. Damn, damn, damn! No wonder I feel like I won’t win this battle. I’ve tried the visualization with little success in the past. Not in the past couple weeks though. I talked to my shrink about it a few hours ago and she actually disagrees with you. She’s still in the “think about it, feel it, immerse yourself in it until you accept” mode. Well that’s not working and I think she’s full of crap.

I think I could envision you holding me and rocking me easier than I could Silent_Runner. She’s not the hugging type. Besides if she was here I think she’d rather slap me into next week for the “irrational crap” I say and do and then take a bat to my head to knock me out.

Geeorge, can I borrow one of your Siameses since my cats got stolen?







Peace Warrior I'll stick with "serenity now". I sure don't have that right now and could use it.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 11-02-2009, 06:40   #1096
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,...........here's one for ya!
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Old 11-02-2009, 07:57   #1097
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
...

I appreciate that Hawk, but I couldn’t bring myself to write the things I was thinking last night. I screamed a little bit of it at poor Silent_Runner instead. I think she’s ready to disown me.

OK, so nightmares cause me to fear nightmares, now fear of nightmares causes nightmares. Damn, damn, damn! No wonder I feel like I won’t win this battle. You'll win, because you refuse to let the bad guys win. You keep fighting going to sleep without drugs, and your thinking about it wears you out and lowers your resistance. You need to start the "happy" thoughts whenever you start thinking that way. I’ve tried the visualization with little success in the past. It will work slowly, and you have to keep doing it. Start at the same point and work from there. Elaborate as you can. Don't try different ones unless you really can't create a visual image in your mind. I've seen it work. Not in the past couple weeks though. I talked to my shrink about it a few hours ago and she actually disagrees with you. What does she know. She's only a professional. She’s still in the “think about it, feel it, immerse yourself in it until you accept” mode. Well that’s not working and I think she’s full of crap.

I think I could envision you holding me and rocking me easier than I could Silent_Runner. I'd be more than honored. She’s not the hugging type. Besides if she was here I think she’d rather slap me into next week for the “irrational crap” I say and do and then take a bat to my head to knock me out. Remember. Only people that love you and care for you can get upset with you.

Geeorge, can I borrow one of your Siameses since my cats got stolen?
Of course he will - or I'll hunt him down

Programming your mind with positive thoughts helps keep out the negatives. But nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You need sleep - without drugs. The mind needs to dream to stay healthy, and yes, that includes nightmares, like it or not. Keep your mind on getting cradled, or even SR chasing you around the base with a 2x4 in her hand It won't leave room for the negatives.

Lay down to sleep that way, and think about it if you wake up with a nightmare, not about the nightmare. (Not easy, I know.) Just quit being afraid to lay down and sleep without the drugs. After all, the drugged sleep was part of what messed you up in the first place.

Love, prayers, and lots of : hugs : (Dang five smilie limit : steamed : )

Hawk
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Old 11-02-2009, 08:30   #1098
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I appreciate that Hawk, but I couldn’t bring myself to write the things I was thinking last night. I screamed a little bit of it at poor Silent_Runner instead. I think she’s ready to disown me.

OK, so nightmares cause me to fear nightmares, now fear of nightmares causes nightmares. Damn, damn, damn! No wonder I feel like I won’t win this battle. I’ve tried the visualization with little success in the past. Not in the past couple weeks though. I talked to my shrink about it a few hours ago and she actually disagrees with you. She’s still in the “think about it, feel it, immerse yourself in it until you accept” mode. Well that’s not working and I think she’s full of crap.

I think I could envision you holding me and rocking me easier than I could Silent_Runner. She’s not the hugging type. Besides if she was here I think she’d rather slap me into next week for the “irrational crap” I say and do and then take a bat to my head to knock me out.

.
You are right I’m not the touchy feely type but you know I would do that for you. Yes I may slap you into last week if you don’t stop thinking about hurting yourself like you were when I talked to you yesterday. You may not have come out and said it but I could tell the thought was there.

Brown Hawk just for clarification the anesthesia they are using to make her sleep is nothing like the mood altering drugs that caused her the problems. She had reached the point of being completely unable to sleep and that is the root cause of why she ended up in the hospital in August. Sleep deprivation can cause some very serious problems as it did in this case. This is not meant to stop you from writing to Wolfe at all but just to clarify what she has said a bit. Thank you for caring.

I really think I like your idea of grabbing a bat and coming over there.
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On here I'm an *** hole.
In real life I'm an *** hole with a gun. :supergrin:
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I mean, I’m mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
Rest in Peace Jeff Abshire-1962-2012-aka 23Skidoo
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Old 11-02-2009, 09:02   #1099
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...

Brown Hawk just for clarification the anesthesia they are using to make her sleep is nothing like the mood altering drugs that caused her the problems. She had reached the point of being completely unable to sleep and that is the root cause of why she ended up in the hospital in August. Sleep deprivation can cause some very serious problems as it did in this case. This is not meant to stop you from writing to Wolfe at all but just to clarify what she has said a bit. Thank you for caring.

I really think I like your idea of grabbing a bat and coming over there.
I knew you'd be quite willing to rock her (pun intended )

Since you're a nurse, you are probably more up to date than I am, but last I heard was that most drugs that made you sleep also interfered with R.E.M. sleep to an extent. Which can cause it's own problems aside from the huge sleep deprivation problems.

On the other hand, I've been wrong so many times that it no longer embarasses me.

Hawk
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Old 11-02-2009, 13:05   #1100
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Best of luck to ya LW honey

Thank you Sweetie.
__________________
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

Last edited by Lone_Wolfe; 11-02-2009 at 13:14..
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