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Old 06-14-2013, 07:01   #10351
sawgrass
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That is a nice tribute. It's been a long time since we have seen that cute kitty avatar. Gloria is missed here. It's mind boggling how quickly this happened to someone in their 40's and who was fit. It's way beyond sad and unfair.

Wolfe I hope that your chest is responding to the rest.

IIRC someone has a birthday just around the corner...
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Old 06-15-2013, 01:42   #10352
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Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
I didn't realize...she was the same age as my sister...way too young. God must have really needed a special angel for something. RIP Gloria.
Yep, way to young for sure. And no family history that she knew of. It just doesn't make any sense at all.



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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
That is a nice tribute. It's been a long time since we have seen that cute kitty avatar. Gloria is missed here. It's mind boggling how quickly this happened to someone in their 40's and who was fit. It's way beyond sad and unfair.

Wolfe I hope that your chest is responding to the rest.

IIRC someone has a birthday just around the corner...
I miss her here, I miss talking to her, emailing her, and especially hanging out with her. I even miss the cranky old cat she had for almost 20 years.

Unfair is an understatement. She was fit, took care of herself, and looked much younger than she was. When she first started having symptoms she said she didn't get checked right away because she was sure it was something that'd pass on it's own. The diagnosis was a shock. She didn't want to tell me at first, she did when I was home in 2011 and could see there was something wrong. I couldn't believe it, and all I could do was cry when the shock wore off.

My chest feels like someone..................... Oh, never mind! Went to the VA today, the doc looked me over briefly, gave me my scripts, and told me to come back in a few weeks if it doesn't improve. I was almost crying for wanting them to do something besides throw meds at me. But the truth is, there's very little than can be done.

Yeah, I'm getting older. I feel like I'm 90.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

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Old 06-15-2013, 02:10   #10353
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I'm sorry for the loss of Silent Runner, but glad that she is no longer in pain. You and her family have my condolences wolfess. I hope your chest gets to feeling better(as better as it can feel). I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say Rest in Peace Jeff and Gloria. All of us may not have gotten to know them in person, but their spirits were known to those who read what they wrote.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:31   #10354
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LW, I'm so sorry to hear about Silent_Runner"s passing. I saw an avatar and upon looking closer saw the info. Prayers sent. tom.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:37   #10355
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damn

Gloria, rest in peace in the hands of our loving God. Know you are loved here. When we meet again, the hugs will be sweet.

Wolfe, i'm sending a mental hug. hope you read it loud and clear.
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Old 06-15-2013, 10:39   #10356
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I'll answer the rest of this post and the other later, I've been spending a lot of time laying on my back trying to get the pain to ease, plus i've been on Gloria's home forum and another quite a bit. But I'll tell again how we met.

In 1991 I broke up with a guy I'd dated for a couple years. We'd broken up several times before, but this time he crossed a line and I told him it was final. A week later he ran his car into a tree. It was ruled an accident, but I have my doubts. But that's not relevant to this. He was taken to the hospital where Gloria was an ICU nurse at the time. He was in bad shape and on life support. A few days went buy with the doctor and other nurses all trying to convince us he had a chance to recover.

One evening I was the only one visiting, and a petite blond nurse asked my relation to him. I told her the truth, and then she asked me what the others at the hospital were saying about his chances. I told her that they gave us hope that he'd recover and maybe be OK. She told me to "Come down to the nurse's lounge with me and have a cup of coffee, I want to talk to you". We got down to the breakroom, got our coffee and sat down. She spilled it, he didn't have a chance to recover and have any kind of life, the brain damage was too bad. He also was almost sure to die in spite of all the machines keeping him alive. The news hurt, but I thanked her for not giving me false hope. She was right, he died a few days later. I never forgot that, always respected her for doing that. We didn't see each other much for the next few years, but then some things caused us to become much better friends, and we stayed that way.


Here's a tribute pic that a friend from another forum made for her. It's really nice, I wanted to share it here...

Okie Memorial Area
People like that are rare.
I always liked her avitar.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
I didn't realize...she was the same age as my sister...way too young. God must have really needed a special angel for something. RIP Gloria.
Yea, she was young.
Too young.

Hope you get to felling better soon LW
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Old 06-16-2013, 10:18   #10357
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Gloria's funeral wasn't an open floor for people to tell stories about her like Jeff's was. Instead her older daughter talked about her and asked 2 other people to me. To my surprise and honor I was one of those 2.
Not a surprise to me.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 06-16-2013, 11:29   #10358
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Not a surprise to me.
Or me.
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Old 06-18-2013, 03:09   #10359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jakebrake View Post
damn

Gloria, rest in peace in the hands of our loving God. Know you are loved here. When we meet again, the hugs will be sweet.

Wolfe, i'm sending a mental hug. hope you read it loud and clear.
Thank you for that, I needed it.



Quote:
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People like that are rare.
I always liked her avitar.



Yea, she was young.
Too young.

Hope you get to felling better soon LW
Yep, they are. She was like that in everything she said, very upfront and direct. Of course she was tactful and kind when she had bad news, but she didn't sugarcoat it.

I love her avatar. When she first got on GT, I created her account up for her. She couldn't decide what she wanted for a username that wasn't already taken. I could hear her radio playing through the phone, and Silent Running came on, so she thought of that name. The sone was one of her favorites. As for the avatar, I got it when my mother emailed the pic to me. I set the avatar, user title, and a sig line. She changed everything except the avatar.



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Not a surprise to me.
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Or me.
It was a surprise to me because I wasn't her only friend there, or even her oldest friend. One lady that she's been friends with almost her entire life was there. But when her daughter asked me, I was honored, and of course I accepted right away.



I'm still about the same, chest hurting like hell. Plus a bunch of other issues going on in my life have me feeling pretty overwhelmed.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 06-18-2013, 18:19   #10360
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Thanks for the offer, but I decided to fly out a day early because of the weather prediction. As it was I almost didn't get back today. When I called the airline to rebook I chose almost 4 hour layover in ATL, but my first flight was so delayed I'd have missed the connection if it hadn't been delayed too! So I just got back home, and there aren't enough pain meds in the world right now. After all that's happened these last few weeks with the URI, 3 trips back to back, the pain of a rocky road that I haven't posted about yet, and a few other things, I'm hurting worse than I have in a couple years. I'm hoping I haven't done any real damage, but I'll worry about that later.

I'm having trouble finding words too, except maybe bereft and alone. She's been my friend longer than anyone, and one of my only friends. I don't make them easily, I really only have one left here. Yeah, I'm so glad I got to go be with her again near the end, just like I got to do for Jeff. They both deserved any comfort I could give, and then some. I only wish I could have made as much of a difference in their lives as they did mine.

Gloria's funeral wasn't an open floor for people to tell stories about her like Jeff's was. Instead her older daughter talked about her and asked 2 other people to me. To my surprise and honor I was one of those 2. The other was a retired nurse that Gloria worked under for years. This lady had been the head nurse in the ER, and even though she was old and slow, her mind and wit haven't slowed a bit. I learned a couple things I didn't know about Gloria that were pretty funny. She also talked of Gloria's work ethic and how she tried to do more than just the minimum for people. Then I went up, and told of how I met her. She told me a painful truth when no one else would. I know I've posted that elsewhere, and I think in here, too. Then I mentioned how that was typical of out friendship for the next 22 years, we could tell the other things that weren't pretty, because we trusted each other with the truth. She was even the one who got me talking in here, when I was trying to act like 'it was just a scratch'. I miss her. Damnit, I miss her!
LW, 22 years is a long time for a friendship to last. Most people are l;ucky if they have a friendship last 10 years. I know what Gloria meant to you and what you meant to Gloria. You will always miss Gloria, but you will never forget her. Try to rememer that Gloria, is no longer suffering. I know it is easier said than done. Remember you are not alone.

Take care of yourself. I wish there was more that I could do for you, other than offer words of encouragement.

I get tears, just thinking about what happened to you and Gloria.
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Old 06-20-2013, 02:44   #10361
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LW, 22 years is a long time for a friendship to last. Most people are l;ucky if they have a friendship last 10 years. I know what Gloria meant to you and what you meant to Gloria. You will always miss Gloria, but you will never forget her. Try to rememer that Gloria, is no longer suffering. I know it is easier said than done. Remember you are not alone.

Take care of yourself. I wish there was more that I could do for you, other than offer words of encouragement.

I get tears, just thinking about what happened to you and Gloria.
Thanks, Buki. Yeah, it is a long time. I'm pretty sure she was ready to shoot me a time or 20 during those years. Yes, I miss her and always will. I won't and don't want to forget her.

Your words mean a lot. Your's and the others who come in here. I went to the VA after I got back from Gloria's funeral, and of course the docs just gave me more meds and a quicj checkover. I was told if my chest didn't stop hurting as bad as it has been to come back next month. I have to do that anyway, I need my meds. I did talk to the shrink again, I think he really wants to do me some good. He wants me to face my fears head on. Like the suggestion he gave me previously of getting a rubber AK-47 and get used to seeing it around, then beat it up. Now he's also suggested I try shooting a gun again, which I don't want to do. I can see his point though, being on the other end of a gun was the "originating cause" (his words) of my issues. He thinks being on the back end of one will help me face down my fears and hopefully ease some of my nightmares. I hope he's right.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 06-23-2013, 23:44   #10362
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That must have been such a blessing being able to give a eulogy for Gloria. So glad that she is out of pain now. What a wonderful friendship you two had. Please remember that there are still a lot of people who care a lot about you and call you friend.

I'm thankful I can see you and talk to you on Facebook. It has been a while since I've been on here. Although I did write a long letter and pressed reply and lost it when I had to sign in again. The disadvantages of not being a member.

Your psychiatrist sounds like he is truly invested in helping you. It might be good for you to get out and go to a range, taking it slow, but finally getting comfortable with shooting again. It would be one of those things for you to overcome the fear of.
Hugs to you, Wolfe.
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Old 06-24-2013, 02:07   #10363
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Old 06-24-2013, 05:06   #10364
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L_W

Hang in there,......you are one of the strongest people I know.
I understand, it is easy for someone to say that, not being directly in your shoes. I will admit, I do not think I could have made it through all you have endured in the past few years. It yearly tears my heart to spreads to see someone have to face such adversity. I have stated before, you are a hero, you are an angel on earth. Your struggles have taught so many here, that the daily troubles we all face are just that. Daily troubles, they are dealt with and pass within a few days.
You have a very strong heart, a very strong will.
Many here support you, many here will give you strength, lean on me.


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Old 06-24-2013, 07:49   #10365
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^^^ What he said.
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Old 06-24-2013, 18:43   #10366
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Old 06-25-2013, 03:50   #10367
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock26girl View Post
That must have been such a blessing being able to give a eulogy for Gloria. So glad that she is out of pain now. What a wonderful friendship you two had. Please remember that there are still a lot of people who care a lot about you and call you friend.

I'm thankful I can see you and talk to you on Facebook. It has been a while since I've been on here. Although I did write a long letter and pressed reply and lost it when I had to sign in again. The disadvantages of not being a member.: faint:

Your psychiatrist sounds like he is truly invested in helping you. It might be good for you to get out and go to a range, taking it slow, but finally getting comfortable with shooting again. It would be one of those things for you to overcome the fear of.
Hugs to you, Wolfe.
It was nice to be able to do that for her, although it got hard to talk through tears.

Just so you know, I don't always get on FB. I've had a lot of problems with messages that people claim to have sent me not showing up, so I don't consider it reliable. That's why I post a lot more here. I mainly use FB to talk to Jeff's family.

He's only seen me a few times, but he does seem like he wants to do me some good with the times he has with me. I think he has a good point about wanting me to get over of at least some of my fear of guns by shooting one. He said I shouln't expect to not have any fear, expecially of AK-47's, but that I should be able to be more comfortable around them than I am. He really think it'll halp the nightmares at least a little, too. I hope he's right there. It's 5:30AM, I've tried to sleep twice, and went right into a nightmare both times.

I set up one of the guns I recently got out of the storage locker up on my back deck, but couldn't get myself to load it or shoot it. I really wish I had Jeff or Gloria, or one of you here.



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Quote:
Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
L_W

Hang in there,......you are one of the strongest people I know.
I understand, it is easy for someone to say that, not being directly in your shoes. I will admit, I do not think I could have made it through all you have endured in the past few years. It yearly tears my heart to spreads to see someone have to face such adversity. I have stated before, you are a hero, you are an angel on earth. Your struggles have taught so many here, that the daily troubles we all face are just that. Daily troubles, they are dealt with and pass within a few days.
You have a very strong heart, a very strong will.
Many here support you, many here will give you strength, lean on me.

: hugs:
I just don't feel so strong, and I know I lean on you folks in here a lot. It helps me feel not quite so alone. An angel? No, I'm just as weak and flawed as anyone in here. Trust me on that.





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^^^ What he said.




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Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
"Where did ya go..........?"
Shelby!!!

I'm around, just sometimes don't know what I want to say. Either that, or I'm to depressed to say it anyway.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 06-25-2013, 04:00   #10368
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So sorry for your loss.....

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Old 06-30-2013, 20:20   #10369
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Are you gonna talk to us?
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Old 07-01-2013, 00:10   #10370
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I thank them for sharing that little piece of themselves with some one as little as me..!

RIP...!
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Old 07-01-2013, 00:15   #10371
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There are never words with enough in them to convey feelings for something like this.

I hope the joy of your memories soon overtakes the pain of your loss.
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Old 07-01-2013, 05:41   #10372
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I thank them for sharing that little piece of themselves with some one as little as me..!

RIP...!
Good to see you dango...hope you are well!
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Old 07-01-2013, 21:42   #10373
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Quote:
Originally Posted by caraker0341 View Post
There are never words with enough in them to convey feelings for something like this.

I hope the joy of your memories soon overtakes the pain of your loss.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dango View Post
I thank them for sharing that little piece of themselves with some one as little as me..!

RIP...!
Quote:
Originally Posted by VC-Racing View Post
So sorry for your loss.....
Thank you all, very much.



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Are you gonna talk to us?
Sure, if you talk to me. I just try not to talk to myself anymore than I have to, I always lose the arguements.

I'm still alive. (obviously) My chest is finally getting closer to it's normal level of pain, which means it still hurts like hell, but I'm kind of used to it. As long as I have my pain meds, that is......

Still trying to get my head around what my VA shrink wants me to do. I wish one of you guys lived near me to do at least the one part of it. I'm also still stressing about a lot of things, some of which I haven't said much about in here. Had one of my nightmares come back especially strong a few times lately, I wonder if it has anything to do with the shrink wanting me to fire a gun again. I think if does, since it's the one about me getting shot.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Old 07-02-2013, 08:40   #10374
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Sure, if you talk to me. I just try not to talk to myself anymore than I have to, I always lose the arguements.

Angel and a Devil sitting on your shoulders?

I'm still alive. (obviously) My chest is finally getting closer to it's normal level of pain, which means it still hurts like hell, but I'm kind of used to it. As long as I have my pain meds, that is......

I'm still praying for relief for you from the chest pain.

Still trying to get my head around what my VA shrink wants me to do. I wish one of you guys lived near me to do at least the one part of it. I'm also still stressing about a lot of things, some of which I haven't said much about in here. Had one of my nightmares come back especially strong a few times lately, I wonder if it has anything to do with the shrink wanting me to fire a gun again. I think if does, since it's the one about me getting shot.
Yeah, I'd say so.

I still think you should desensitive yourself to gunfire a little by watching a movie with it. Blackhawk Down comes to mind. I would also visualize yourself shooting a gun. Put out a target. Walk back. Load one round. Cock the hammer. Squeeze trigger. Bang. In this way you get some of those emotions you would have out of the way first.

I pray that you will have the courage and strength to do what you need to confront this head on.

Psalm 31, A Prayer for Lone Wolfe

Lord, I come to you for protection.
Donít let me be disappointed.
You always do what is right, so save me.

2 Listen to me.
Come quickly and save me.
Be my Rock, my place of safety.
Be my fortress and protect me!

3 Yes, you are my Rock and my protection.
For the good of your name, lead me and guide me.

4 Save me from the traps [and nightmares] my enemy has set.
You are my place of safety.

5 Lord, you are the God we can trust.
I put my life in your hands.
Save me!

6 I hate those who worship false gods.
I trust only in the Lord.

7 Your kindness makes me so happy.
You have seen my suffering.
You know about the troubles I have.

8 You will not let my enemies take me.
You will free me from their traps [and nightmares].

9 Lord, I have many troubles, so be kind to me.
I have cried until my eyes hurt.
My throat and stomach [and chest] are aching.
10 Because of my sin, my life is ending in grief;
my years are passing away in sighs of pain.
My life is ending in weakness.
My strength is draining away.

11 My enemies despise me,
and even my neighbors have turned away.
When my friends see me in the street,
they turn the other way.
They are afraid to be around me.

12 People want to forget me like someone already dead,
thrown away like a broken dish.

13 I hear them whispering about me.

14 Lord, I trust in you.
You are my God.

15 My life is in your hands.
Save me from those who are persecuting me.

16 Please welcome and accept your servant.
Be kind to me and save me.

17 Lord, I am praying to you.
Donít let me be disappointed.
The wicked are the ones who should be disappointed.
Let them go to the grave in silence.

19 Lord, you have hidden away many wonderful things for your followers.
You have done so many good things for those who trust in you.
You have blessed them so that all the world can see.

20 Others make plans to hurt them.
They say such bad things about them.
But you hide your people in your shelter and protect them.

21 Praise the Lord, because he showed me how wonderful his faithful love is
when the city was surrounded by enemies.

22 I was afraid and said, ďI am in a place where he cannot see me.Ē
But I prayed to you, and you heard my loud cries for help.

23 Love the Lord, all of you who are his loyal followers.
The Lord protects those who are loyal to him.
But he punishes those who brag about their own power.
He gives them all the punishment they deserve.

24 Be strong and brave,
all of you who are waiting for the Lordís help.
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"I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me". Philippians 4:13.
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Old 07-03-2013, 21:29   #10375
Lone_Wolfe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Angel and a Devil sitting on your shoulders?

I'm still praying for relief for you from the chest pain.

Yeah, I'd say so.

I still think you should desensitive yourself to gunfire a little by watching a movie with it. Blackhawk Down comes to mind. I would also visualize yourself shooting a gun. Put out a target. Walk back. Load one round. Cock the hammer. Squeeze trigger. Bang. In this way you get some of those emotions you would have out of the way first.

I pray that you will have the courage and strength to do what you need to confront this head on.

Psalm 31, A Prayer for Lone Wolfe

Lord, I come to you for protection.
Donít let me be disappointed...............
Probably 2 devils that can't agree on things....

I'm pretty sure there's only one way the chest pain is going to end and I have a feeling that's not what you have in mind.

Kind of a no-brainer, huh? I got guns around me now, hate it, got a shrink telling me to shoot one, hate it but think he's right, of course my nightmares about getting shot are at an unbearable level. I've watched a few videos os shooting, seeing in of a screen doesn't have much effect. My mind doesn't disconnect from the fact that I'm watching video. There's constant shootin in my 'hood, has been ever since I first moves here. Usually it's from a ways off, but sometimes it gets close by and I have to go inside.

I've been trying to visualize shooting, and even set up and put the magazine with one round in the gun one time. I didn't use that 357 I showed before, no way I'm going to do that. I tried with a semi-auto 22 rifle that was Gloria's, but I chickened out. Tomorrow is Independence Day, seems like a good time to try again. Wish me luch, and thank you for those prayers. I need to beat this, I cry just at the though. This can't go on.
__________________
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE
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Nov 11, 2013 at 11:42