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Old 10-13-2011, 12:42   #8081
23skidoo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post

23skidoo you definitely are not speaking for me at all. I would not have expected you to be happy about this either.


BobInTX is right about staying off convoys. Getting shot again is not an option!
If she's happy, I'm happy; I look at it this way, the thought of depending on the VA for her medical care scares her more than going back to Afghanistan. Be safe Sweetheart.
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Old 10-13-2011, 19:15   #8082
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
Sweetheart, if you're happy, I hesitate to speak for all of us but, what the Hell? We're happy.: hugs:: hearts:: iloveyou:
Happy? No, try again.

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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Hmmmm...

You save lives? Where have I heard this before?
They've used that on me before.

I know this isn't what any of us wanted to hear, but maybe this is another thing for which God spared you.
At first I thought not, but once again a bunch of things had to fall into place for me to be able to go, especially since I didn't request it.

Whatever he has in mind, I pray for his protection over you, and miraculous healing.
Thanks, I'm really going to need it.

And please don't take any convoys.

ETA: OK. If you do this you tell them when you go home you want a full medical evaluation at Walter Reed. You've gone above and beyond and if they can pull all those strings with military they can sure as heck pull that one. You should have gone there in the first place.
You're right, I should have. I shouldn't have ever been even eligible to be back here in the sand. But if I'm going to insist on being sent to an Army hospital for a full eval I'm going to ask for Trippler instead, it's in Hawaii.

When my employer was on the phone asking me to go over there I asked if they remembered what happened last time I went there. The response I got was "Don't worry, you won't be going on any convoys". Now where have I heard THAT before......?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post
Wolfe you have done your part for your country and a whole lot more. My first thought when I opened your email was to fly over there and kick your backside back to the US myself. It seems your manager back here knew just what to say to you. I knew you would not be able to resist if you were told something like that. I wish you would reconsider but I understand that you could not say no. Please stay safe and alert over there. I will pray hard for you that you are really able to handle this physically and mentally. I will be worried until you come home for good. Do you think the care you get in Afghanistan will be comparable to what you have received in Iraq?
I kind of figured you would. You and maybe a few other GT'ers. I've gotten a few ass chewings via PM, but not too bad. At least people seem to understand I just couldn't say no, even though I wanted to. When we were on the phone I kept saying no until they hit me with that, and I said some things that probably would have gotten me fired under a different circumstance. When I got the email today confirming that the Army was going to continue my treatment in Afghanistan from my manager in the States, and he mentioned the big boss being impressed by me. He said that before that conversation D___ didn’t know it was possible to put complete sentences together using only swear words.

I doubt the care will be the same, but if it's not enough I'll have to leave. I did tell my employer that and they said they understood, but please tell them before I do. I guess they'll want a chance to yell at someone.


23skidoo you definitely are not speaking for me at all. I would not have expected you to be happy about this either.
I wouldn't have either, but with him you never know.

BobInTX is right about staying off convoys. Getting shot again is not an option!
No ****, I'll be dead if it happens again.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
She ain't happy, she's scared to death.
You can say that again.

I'm asking God to send a guy like this with you:

Okie Memorial Area

Let me know if you see him. I've no doubt he was with you the last time.
Oh yeah, you can send him. Yummm, wow, hooah, OK, I may not be online for a while.....

But he wasn't there last time. If he was he could have used that shield to stop the bullet and the sword to ventilate ****stain #3 before he could shoot Greg.

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Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
If she's happy, I'm happy; I look at it this way, the thought of depending on the VA for her medical care scares her more than going back to Afghanistan. Be safe Sweetheart.: hugs:: hearts:
I'm not so sure about that at all. The nightmares the last couple nights have me wondering if I got some placebos in place of my Xanax.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Last edited by Lone_Wolfe; 10-13-2011 at 20:47..
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Old 10-15-2011, 23:24   #8083
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Bump

Because we care....
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Old 10-16-2011, 09:43   #8084
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Oh, angel guy was there. It just wasn't his mission to keep you from getting shot. He was to keep you alive. No doubt about it.
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Old 10-16-2011, 17:45   #8085
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Quote:
Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
Bump

Because we care....
Thanks for caring. Looks like our lunch and hot tub visits will be postponed, but I won't forget. For that matter, I'm not giving up the new Ranger, either. I'm still going to get it and I've already asked the dealership if they'd have it delivered to the same place I store my Mustang. They'll be glad to do that for me.

From the messages I've gotten the last couple days I think some folks aren't real happy with me, and others are grateful that I'll continue my work but are scared for me. (I'm scared for me, too) At least one person is convinced I'm only doing this for the money, and doesn't want to believe that's not why. Hell, if money was my motivator I'd come back to the States, get my disability checks coming in, then go back to work. Unlike SSI, VA disability isn't affected by any other income. But I don't want to do it that way. I'll admit I do feel a lot better earning my own money that collecting a check each month. But if you think about it, you taxpayers are paying me either way. Just this way I can still do some good for our country.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Oh, angel guy was there. It just wasn't his mission to keep you from getting shot. He was to keep you alive. No doubt about it.
Damn, my medic didn't look like that!!! Too bad, because then I really wouldn't have minded the fact that he had to see me from the waist up. Actually I have this mental image of my medic doing CPR on me, with the IV in my arm and decompression tubes in my chest, all the while with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. And cussing me out the whole time....

I still think if the angel was there to keep me alive it would have been a hell of a lot easier to keep me from getting shot, don't you think? Plus it would have saved Greg, too.

I haven't said anything for a couple days because I couldn't think up much good to say. The nightmares came back full force, and with a vengeance ever since I agreed to go back to Afghanistan. Plus I've had a couple breathing attacks, at least one of which was stress induced, and thrashing around enough to make my chest tell me all about it. I talked to my doc about it today and he's concerned, wants me to come in tonight and stay at the hospital and sleep without Xanax. He's thinking I've built up a tolerance to it, but I doubt that. After all, it was working OK until a few days ago. I'm dreading it, that's why I'm still in my room. I'm going in shortly, though.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Last edited by Lone_Wolfe; 10-17-2011 at 08:08..
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Old 10-16-2011, 18:16   #8086
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Hi Sweetheart! <<<<At the plate with his cane ready to play homerun derby with the demons. The GT posse is on deck..... The sleep of the just Sweetheart.
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Old 10-16-2011, 20:22   #8087
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That's interesting nightmares are reacting to stress.

Maybe u do need hot tubs and foot rubs.
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Old 10-16-2011, 20:30   #8088
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What are you wearing?





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Old 10-16-2011, 21:26   #8089
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I give awesome footrubs, and being a female, it would be totally non-stimulating...just relaxing and therapeutic (sp).

Hope you are well...sure am sorry to hear they roped you into going back where it all began. It can't be good for your mental health to be going back there. I was really looking forward to seeing you stateside soon :(
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Old 10-17-2011, 00:55   #8090
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Quote:
The nightmares came back full force, and with a vengeance ever since I agreed to go back to Afghanistan.
Wait................ WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I am SO not caught up on this thread.....but will be back tracking/reading right after I hit the "submit" button on this.

Back!!?? This must have JUST happened??? You didn't say anything (unless I missed it?) in your PMs back/forth from a couple of days ago............ everything I'd read up until know seemed to reference you WERE COMING HOME!? I even mentioned it to Mr. Wilson earlier in the week.......but that I didn't know the specifics.

What!!
WHAT!!?!?!

And what's the deal w/people sending you crappy PMs?
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Old 10-17-2011, 01:24   #8091
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Oh damnit to hell, NO WAY!

Quote:
My employer sent me a message yesterday asking me to call the home office. I waited until they were open and did just that. They might as well have hit me with a 2x4. Not only did they want me to stay one the contract and transfer to Afghanistan, but they had gotten all the needed waivers and the military has agreed to continue my treatment over there. And my doc and shrink signed off! I asked how they managed all that and they said it was one of my military customers that recommended I be kept over here in the first place.

I argued with them, I told them “I’m hurt, I’m tired and I want to go home. Haven’t I done enough for king and country yet?” (Yes, I got that from a Star Trek movie) The bastard manager of the entire contract was in on the conference call and he came back with “What you do has saved lives, you’ve saved lives. You can continue to save lives if you go”. ****. Damn. I couldn’t say no, I guess they knew that.
j.h.c.

I need a drink......... so off to the grocery it is, I guess, cause all I have on hand is Sake, and ain't gonna cut it.

The Guilt Thing?

They badgered you and badgered you and when you were basically pleading w/them to LET YOU HAVE YOUR LIFE BACK they hauled out the MFg SOBn GUILT TRIP???????

DAMNIT TO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE GUILT THING??? REALLY, I MEAN, COME ON!!, THE GUILT THING????

<-double-handed face palm, hittin the floor........... oh, just........ freaking......beyond.....ability....to articulate........ j.h.c.
:::::::::thud::::::::::::::

Going to store now...... liquor sales time cut off is 2am.
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Old 10-17-2011, 07:50   #8092
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What are you wearing?





A black long-sleeved polo shirt and khaki pants.





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Old 10-17-2011, 08:39   #8093
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... 'twas a "she" decision, not a "we" decision.

We should respect it.

I can't say what the future will bring. The present, we take day by day.
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Old 10-17-2011, 12:53   #8094
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I hadn't thought about it until now, but it might actually be therapeutic for Wolfe to go back to where it all happened...face her worst fears. I would personally like her back here, but this could end up being very healing, in addition to giving her more time to heal up before returning to the States. I really can't believe I am saying this, though. You are just the most incredible woman, Wolfe!!
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Old 10-17-2011, 13:22   #8095
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I give awesome footrubs, and being a female, it would be totally non-stimulating...just relaxing and therapeutic (sp).
Maybe so, but what's the fun in that???


(sorry, couldn't resist)


L_W, as far as the wisdom of heading back to Afghanistan, I hope you have made the right decision. I sure don't know if it is the right choice or not. I just hope you heal fast(er) and stay safe and strong.
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Old 10-17-2011, 14:40   #8096
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A black long-sleeved polo shirt and khaki pants.








Not YOU







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Old 10-17-2011, 16:19   #8097
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Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
... 'twas a "she" decision, not a "we" decision.

We should respect it.

I can't say what the future will bring. The present, we take day by day.
You are completely right. Yet, at the same time, and while I don't want to seem to be discussing SHE as though SHE weren't in the proverbial room........... it's so complicated - and it sure sounds like when they turned a deaf ear to her pleading to be returned home, they pulled out the GUILT CARD.

BAD on them!!!!!!!!!!!!

A clear-headed decision is ONE thing; being guilted BACK into something One is in no way yet well medically or psychologically post-trauma healed from........ *sigh* Playing the GUILT CARD in this particular scenario, ON THE BACK of deeply rooted survivor guilt, all kinds of guilt, which are still readily eating away One's insides???

Un effing forgivable. imho.

LW, babydoll....... ((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
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Old 10-17-2011, 18:26   #8098
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Quote:
Originally Posted by itisbruno View Post
What are you wearing?





A smile just for you, you handsome devil.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Looks like our lunch and hot tub visits will be postponed, but I won't forget. :supergrin :...
Quote:
Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
...I can't say what the future will bring. The present, we take day by day.
ARRRRRGH!!!!



Quote:
Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
... 'twas a "she" decision, not a "we" decision.

We should respect it.
.
I'm not sure I really decided anything. More like being along for the ride and it hasn't all sunk in yet. I'm not answering much tonight because I'm really doped up and my head isn't clear at all. I'll get back to, and think about, what everyone has said. I really don't mind all of you talking about this in here, I expected backlash. I didn't know what the backlash would be, but I appreciate the concern and different thoughts here. I even expected the negativity I got a couple days ago and am a little surprised there wasn't more. At least there wasn't to my face. So go right ahead and talk, I'm listening.

I went in last night shortly after I posted and got some strong knockout meds, but no Xanax. Not fun, the Xanax was helping. I felt like I was all the way back to square one with the nightmares. I screamed and thrashed until the medic there gave up and sedated me to the point I couldn't move. Of course my chest has a mess of nasty things to say about that, so I've got more than my share of pain meds in me.

I was talking to my shrink today, and we were talking about my demons in my head. I told her one of them is named 'Afghanistan', and it looks like I'm going to face that one whether I want to or not. She's also not surprised that I'm having what feels like a bad setback, both mentally and physically. My doc seems more surprised.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 10-17-2011, 18:42   #8099
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Hold your arms out Sweetheart, these are ever so gentle.
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Old 10-17-2011, 19:24   #8100
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
A smile just for you, you handsome devil.






ARRRRRGH!!!!





I'm not sure I really decided anything. More like being along for the ride and it hasn't all sunk in yet. I'm not answering much tonight because I'm really doped up and my head isn't clear at all. I'll get back to, and think about, what everyone has said. I really don't mind all of you talking about this in here, I expected backlash. I didn't know what the backlash would be, but I appreciate the concern and different thoughts here. I even expected the negativity I got a couple days ago and am a little surprised there wasn't more. At least there wasn't to my face. So go right ahead and talk, I'm listening.

I went in last night shortly after I posted and got some strong knockout meds, but no Xanax. Not fun, the Xanax was helping. I felt like I was all the way back to square one with the nightmares. I screamed and thrashed until the medic there gave up and sedated me to the point I couldn't move. Of course my chest has a mess of nasty things to say about that, so I've got more than my share of pain meds in me.

I was talking to my shrink today, and we were talking about my demons in my head. I told her one of them is named 'Afghanistan', and it looks like I'm going to face that one whether I want to or not. She's also not surprised that I'm having what feels like a bad setback, both mentally and physically. My doc seems more surprised.

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