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Old 11-23-2010, 01:16   #6021
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
okie, I'll have you know I was thinking about this great looking chicken soup when I was at the DFAC a couple hours ago and I decided I just had to have some chicken soup. I was hoping it would remind me of this at least a little bit....

Boy was I disappointed!

But I'll have some when I get there to see you.
I'm sorry it wasn't as good sweetheart
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Old 11-23-2010, 01:20   #6022
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Here's another bowl of soup for you sweetheart
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Old 11-23-2010, 02:16   #6023
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I'm just here to steal some of LW's chicken soup
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 11-23-2010, 04:45   #6024
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Good afternoon Sweetheart! I hope you've had a good day so far.
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Old 11-23-2010, 05:51   #6025
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Wish I had some comforting words to pass, but just know that there are people that want you to get well and be at peace.
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Old 11-23-2010, 08:36   #6026
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Hey LW,

Remember to keep talking to us or your shrink we all are here for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
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"We don't sit on our asses enough and THINK thru scenarios. We have to wait until bad nasty stuff happens to us to appreciate circumstances that might run counter to our preconceptions and beliefs."
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Old 11-23-2010, 11:49   #6027
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
I'm just here to steal some of LW's chicken soup
Some friend you are!

Get out of my way!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I'd best not answer that question, I could get myself an infraction here.... :

::
Wolfe get you mind out of the gutter.

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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Wolfe I'm glad you are talking and thinking through things.
So am I. Your shrink asked some good questions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Today I wanted to talk to my shrink about some of the things some of you have said in here, so I opened the pages with the relevant posts and carried my laptop in to him. He read what I showed him and we started talking about it. When we were talking about how Greg might feel if hed stayed down and later found out I hadnt died instantly and he might have been able to save me my shrink asked So which position would you rather be in, alive but having to live with that on your conscious and in your dreams or dead, having done your best to save the other. My answer was that I think Id rather be dead from the effort than living with that kind of guilt. Then he asked Do you think Greg agrees with you? I said that he probably does. Then my shrink asked Do you think Greg ran out to you to avoid the chance of learning he could have helped you and having to face the terrible guilt that would come with that? I told him that even though I was told Greg waited about a minute or so before he ran out to me I doubted he was thinking about things like that, but I really had no way to know what was going through his mind before be broke cover. But he had to be thinking of something during that time. My shrink responded with If he had that much time to think about he probably did have time to weigh the risks and decide it was worth it in the chance you could be saved. Do you think now he feels the end result was worth it? I said that I figured he did, since he accomplished what he went out to do. He asked Do you think Greg would do it again the same way if he could rewind the clock, now that he knows how it ends? I told him I have to think on that one.
Wolfe you know that Greg had time to think about and also to think of all the reasons not to run to you yet he still made the choice to do so. That would tell me he made the choice of his own free will and was well aware of the risk. I believe he would do it again even if he knew the end result because he would know that you lived and went on to save the life of someone else.

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Hey LW,

Remember to keep talking to us or your shrink we all are here for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. :
Do this please.
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I mean, Im mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
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Old 11-23-2010, 14:03   #6028
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
back. Yeah, I know, I been kinda quiet. But then so has everyone, so don't be too mad at me. I'm still kicking, you haven't gotten rid of me yet. BTW, I love that kitty pic. A tuxedo cat.

He's getting a little braver. He likes to hide from the dog under the grill. Funny how a dog that can smell a duck from a mile away can't smell the cat 2 feet from him. Or maybe he just doesn't care.



You know okie, if chicken soup could cure my problems I think that soup there would do it.

Looks pretty yummy!



Thanks, I'm glad you're here too. I did talk to the convoy commander once while I was in the hospital. He told me what happened after I went down, but lied about how Greg died. He said Greg didn't leave cover, but was hit by a ricochet or some crap like that. I didn't buy it then, but couldn't get the truth out of him.

I wondered who and what was told to you. I'm sure he was just trying to spare you with some heartache. Didn't work, did it?


Who told you the truth?

How did you feel when you found out the truth? Is that when the guilt started, or did it wait until after your reaction to the meds?

I suppose several people might have some guilt, either real or imagined. The rocks the Afghani's were behind were so close they could have been checked. There's other things that could have been done differently, but mostly just in hindsight. It's possible that someone feels some guilt for not somehow preventing Greg from blowing cover, but I don't know if that would have been possible.

Hindsight can't change the past. It can change the future, though, if lessons are learned. I'll bet the commander changed his procedures after that.


Today I wanted to talk to my shrink about some of the things some of you have said in here, so I opened the pages with the relevant posts and carried my laptop in to him. He read what I showed him and we started talking about it. When we were talking about how Greg might feel if hed stayed down and later found out I hadnt died instantly and he might have been able to save me my shrink asked So which position would you rather be in, alive but having to live with that on your conscious and in your dreams or dead, having done your best to save the other. My answer was that I think Id rather be dead from the effort than living with that kind of guilt. Then he asked Do you think Greg agrees with you? I said that he probably does. Then my shrink asked Do you think Greg ran out to you to avoid the chance of learning he could have helped you and having to face the terrible guilt that would come with that? I told him that even though I was told Greg waited about a minute or so before he ran out to me I doubted he was thinking about things like that, but I really had no way to know what was going through his mind before be broke cover. But he had to be thinking of something during that time. My shrink responded with If he had that much time to think about he probably did have time to weigh the risks and decide it was worth it in the chance you could be saved. Do you think now he feels the end result was worth it? I said that I figured he did, since he accomplished what he went out to do. He asked Do you think Greg would do it again the same way if he could rewind the clock, now that he knows how it ends? I told him I have to think on that one.
I didn't know Greg had time to think about it. I agree with the shrink. He did have time to weigh the risks. It was his decision to save you, not yours.

It's not like you said, "Hey, Greg. Let's go on this convoy, get blown up, I'll get shot and you can get killed trying to save me. Fun times".

If you could rewind the clock I don't think anybody on the convoy would have even gone on it. Soldiers can't think like that, though. They can't not go on a mission. Otherwise, we'd be like France.

You said you figured Greg would feel that the end result was worth it, since he accomplished what he set out to do. Why do you think he would want you to you feel guilty about that?

Is your real emotion guilt, or is it more embarrassment or shame that you got shot in the first place? If you had to face Greg today, what would you feel? What would you say? Just asking questions, that's not my opinion.
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Old 11-23-2010, 14:57   #6029
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Heck yes, I remember you! I see you still have the same cool avatar, too. Doesn't RussP do a great job? I remember SV well, and miss being there. How are things with you and yours?

Acttually you're not prying into my business at all, it's all posted in this thread, but the nutshell version is that I used my chest to stop a round from an AK-47 in Afghanistan. The very slow (and painful) healing from that was hampered all the more by my spending 4 months taking prescription anti-depressants that I turned out to be highly allergic to, so now I'm dealing with constant nightmares, psychosis and other crap. OK, that's the real short version for you, the long version is in the previous 5000+ posts. You're right it's been going on a while, almost 2 years now.

I'm glad you stopped by to say hello. I always enjoyed your posts and would have loved to run into you around town. I'm actually a little surprised I didn't, since we went so many of the same places. Thanks very much for the well-wishes.
Yep, RussP does a great job, and I'm not one to change a good thing with nothing better to replace it with. I was away for a few years, but I guess I didn't realize how many.

My family and I are doing about as well as can be expected right now, I reckon. We just moved from SV to a little tiny pocket of a town in the southeastern mountains of Colorado. It's a little hectic trying to sort things out, and will be for a while, but we're getting there.

Lone wolfe, thanks for your service and your sacrifice for this country. You are a true hero in my eyes, and trust me, there aren't many these days. Perhaps one day we'll get the chance to meet, and I'd sure be honored.

Stay strong, and pull through this. I've been through some rough times in my life, but I know without doubt that they've made me stronger in the end. You'll remain in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll try to get back to this site a little more often to check in and see how you're doing.

Take care, and thanks for filling me in. Your's in quite an experience, and one I'd not wish on anyone. God be with you, gal.

Daryl
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Old 11-23-2010, 16:37   #6030
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ancient_serpent View Post
Wish I had some comforting words to pass, but just know that there are people that want you to get well and be at peace.
You'd be surprised just how comforting those words are right now. Thank you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
Good afternoon Sweetheart! I hope you've had a good day so far.: hearts:: smootchie:: iloveyou:
I didn't, but hopefully tomorrow will be better. Those things better be sqeeze-free!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
I'm just here to steal some of LW's chicken soup


Of course I'll share.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenngunner View Post
Hey LW,

Remember to keep talking to us or your shrink we all are here for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
I'll do the best I can, and thank you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daryl in Az View Post
Yep, RussP does a great job, and I'm not one to change a good thing with nothing better to replace it with. I was away for a few years, but I guess I didn't realize how many.

My family and I are doing about as well as can be expected right now, I reckon. We just moved from SV to a little tiny pocket of a town in the southeastern mountains of Colorado. It's a little hectic trying to sort things out, and will be for a while, but we're getting there.

Lone wolfe, thanks for your service and your sacrifice for this country. You are a true hero in my eyes, and trust me, there aren't many these days. Perhaps one day we'll get the chance to meet, and I'd sure be honored.

Stay strong, and pull through this. I've been through some rough times in my life, but I know without doubt that they've made me stronger in the end. You'll remain in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll try to get back to this site a little more often to check in and see how you're doing.

Take care, and thanks for filling me in. Your's in quite an experience, and one I'd not wish on anyone. God be with you, gal.

Daryl
Well, you could always ask Russ to do one with your new state flag, as long as you keep your pic up front. Colorado, eh? So now youre Daryl in CO. Ill bet its pretty there. Ive been through that area and loved. I have an old pic of myself standing in the side of a mountain so steep that I was standing up straight, but my outstretched hand was touching the ground. It was taken at 11,000 feet. I hope you and your family love it there.

Thank you for the kind words and prayers. Id consider it an honor to meet you too, and not just because youre from Arizona. Youre good people and Im glad you stopped back by. It made my day a little brighter.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
He's getting a little braver. He likes to hide from the dog under the grill. Funny how a dog that can smell a duck from a mile away can't smell the cat 2 feet from him. Or maybe he just doesn't care.

Or maybe he just resigns himself to the fact that he's screwed if that cat chooses....

Looks pretty yummy!

I'll share!


I wondered who and what was told to you. I'm sure he was just trying to spare you with some heartache. Didn't work, did it?

Nope, not worth a damn.

Who told you the truth?

I need to leave that detaill out, but it happened a few months later.

How did you feel when you found out the truth? Is that when the guilt started, or did it wait until after your reaction to the meds?

Neither, the guilt was already there. It took it's place in my heart as soon as I realized that someone had died on the convoy that I wasn't supposed to be on. It just got a hell of a lot worse when I found out the truth.

I didn't know Greg had time to think about it. I agree with the shrink. He did have time to weigh the risks. It was his decision to save you, not yours.

That didn't make it a very smart decision, or one that I agree with.

It's not like you said, "Hey, Greg. Let's go on this convoy, get blown up, I'll get shot and you can get killed trying to save me. Fun times".

As we got ready to mount up we both hit the porta-johns one last time. On the way over I jokingly suggested we forego using the can and hold out coffee for the entire trip. Greg laughed and said something I can't put on GT. I imagine his response to your suggestion would have contained the same words.

If you could rewind the clock I don't think anybody on the convoy would have even gone on it. Soldiers can't think like that, though. They can't not go on a mission. Otherwise, we'd be like France.

You said you figured Greg would feel that the end result was worth it, since he accomplished what he set out to do. Why do you think he would want you to you feel guilty about that?

Never said he would.

Is your real emotion guilt, or is it more embarrassment or shame that you got shot in the first place? If you had to face Greg today, what would you feel? What would you say? Just asking questions, that's not my opinion.
Why the hell should I be embarrassed I got shot? I never thought it was anything to be ashamed of, except for the fact that it got someone else killed. Just like it's not something to be proud of either. It just is....
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Old 11-23-2010, 18:01   #6031
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It just is.... LW those are your words. It all just is. It's heartbreaking and tragic but it is. That's why you have to forgive yourself put it in its place and
find a way to go forward giving yourself back to you and the people who love
you.

I had to work different hours the last two days and I miss you!
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Old 11-23-2010, 18:34   #6032
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I hope your Wednesday is outstanding Sweetheart, I need to trump Okie and make some chicken and dumplings.
<a href="http://s297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/23skidoo365/?action=view&amp;current=cickenanddumplings.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm212/23skidoo365/cickenanddumplings.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
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Old 11-23-2010, 19:00   #6033
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Why the hell should I be embarrassed I got shot? I never thought it was anything to be ashamed of, except for the fact that it got someone else killed. Just like it's not something to be proud of either. It just is....
Are you sure? You don't sound very sure about that. J/K. Of course you shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed. You're not guilty, either. Greg just tagged along on that convoy. He wasn't even an assigned part of that convoy. Just a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or as I have said before, the right guy in the right place at the right time. To save you, that is. If it hadn't been your convoy, it might have been a later one, with Greg on it, and might have had the same result. How did the Afghanis know you were coming? There had to be other units traveling that road. Would you have felt guilty when another unit got attacked after hitting that IED, that it should have been your IED? Would you feel guilty that you didn't take the convoy?

Yes, it just is. Be sorry, but you're not guilty.
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Last edited by BobInTX; 11-24-2010 at 00:00.. Reason: Revise and extend my remarks
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Old 11-23-2010, 22:07   #6034
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you left out Missy...wth?

Wolfe, it doesn't matter how anyone else sees this mess. All that is going to make a difference is how you see it. We can sift through the whole fn beach if
need be and then what? The sand lays where it lies. Let it go, and salvage
what is left because life is for the living and you are thankfully to me and many
others still alive. We love you LW.
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Old 11-23-2010, 22:23   #6035
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you left out Missy...wth?

Wolfe, it doesn't matter how anyone else sees this mess. All that is going to make a difference is how you see it. We can sift through the whole fn beach if
need be and then what? The sand lays where it lies. Let it go, and salvage
what is left because life is for the living and you are thankfully to me and many
others still alive. We love you LW.
Agreed. Start living the life that was given to you to the fullest. Make him proud.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 11-23-2010, 23:53   #6036
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you left out Missy...wth?
Oops. What did I say?
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Old 11-24-2010, 01:02   #6037
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Love you sweetheart, and I hope you get well soon
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Old 11-24-2010, 06:39   #6038
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LW,

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving and remember that you have a lot to be thankful for, life, job, a whole message board that cares for you, good medical care, a painful but effective terrorist, a cat that watches over you and God's love.
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"We don't sit on our asses enough and THINK thru scenarios. We have to wait until bad nasty stuff happens to us to appreciate circumstances that might run counter to our preconceptions and beliefs."
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Old 11-24-2010, 09:06   #6039
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LW,

Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving and remember that you have a lot to be thankful for, life, job, a whole message board that cares for you, good medical care, a painful but effective terrorist, a cat that watches over you and God's love.
I too, would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. My internet connections can be sporadic while at home so let me fit this in now. I would like you to know that you are one of this GT family's most cherished blessings. I speak for the group to tell you how grateful we are to have a measure of friendship with you, to be of service to you while at the same time taking strength from the courage and fortitude you show each and every day. We are both blessed and thankful for you. Have a wonderful holiday.

-eng151515
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Old 11-24-2010, 09:10   #6040
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Happy Thanksgiving, Wolfe, and all of my GT friends.
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