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Old 11-18-2010, 14:26   #5981
Lone_Wolfe
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
:hugs :: hugs: Three hugs one from each of us.
Better start returning these now



Quote:
Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
Three hugs from one of me.

:hugs :: hugs:
Because I'm going to be ing for a while...



Quote:
Originally Posted by Tenngunner View Post
And from me. : hugs:: hugs:
And in no rush to stop.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Three? The dog?
I think the dog is going to skip straight to a belly rub.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-18-2010, 16:41   #5982
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Must be that "work" thing again.
There you go saying 4-letter words again!





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Originally Posted by okie View Post
Love you sweetheart: smootchie:: hugs:
Love you too, sweetheart.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
I'm sorry, Wolfe.

Dear God. I know you've got a lot on your mind, but could you possibly give us a little help with this? A miracle, perhaps? I know suffering develops character, but if she becomes any more of a character she's going to be going up and down alleys in Baghdad looking for discarded beer cans.

All kidding aside, we know that you love and care for Lone_Wolfe. We have faith in you as the Great Physician, so I ask that you give her comfort from her pain, and healing of her chest. Oh, yeah, her knee also. And relief from the breathing attacks.

In Jesus Holy name,
Amen.
Now hold it, I'm not looking for discarded beer cans, I want the ones that still have some beer in them!

Seriously though, I've love a miracle. I'd even love part of a miracle where I just make some good progress. I swear at times I think I'll never get any better and that's when a couple of those demons in my head start sounding pretty convincing. I was thinking back to something RottnJP said a while back about the reason the medic was able to save me that day was that my pre-sentient lizard brain was just refusing to give up as long as I have the medic there mashing my chest. My doc seems to think that the day I stopped breathing that part of me was ready to give up.



Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
I hope the pain allows you to oversleep in the morning without consequence. Squeeze free
We can wish, but that didn't happen...........

Keep em' squeeze-free....



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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
I doubt if he would have done that if it was one of the "grunts" who he didn't even know.

I think you're wrong about this. I really hope you're wrong. I hate the thought of him coming out there just because it was me, or just because it was a woman, or any other reason that would have stopped him from trying to save anyone else that needed the help. I hope the only reason he chose me to be the one he ran out to save was because I was the only one who was down.


You feel that Greg was foolish because it was you who he saved and he paid for it with his life. If he hadn't died it would be different. I think it is normal for you to feel that way. I know you would gladly trade your life for his.

Yes I would, I think it's normal to feel this way, too. I think there would have to be something wrong with me not to feel that way. Other than what is wrong with me, that is....

Why did Greg break cover? Because he had conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity. You didn't ask him to save you. You've made it quite clear that once you were shot you couldn't move and you couldn't make a sound. He went to save you because he was that kind of man.

I agree that Greg is a hero and you'll never hear me say other wise. I just wish he was a live hero.


Do you continue to beat yourself up for the "what ifs" and live every day beside the road, or do you forgive all involved, including God, yourself, Greg, the Colonel, the grunts, President Bush, your mother and father for having sex, and yes, even the Afghanis, and thank God every day that you are alive, and move on to the next chapter in your life?
It's not that I don't try to convice myself that it's not my fault. I tell myself that, I read these posts like yours over and over, and then read them some more, and sometimes I think I'm starting to get it through my head. Then the guilt comes flooding back in and I'm right back where I started..
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-18-2010, 17:13   #5983
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I think you're wrong about this. I really hope you're wrong. I hate the thought of him coming out there just because it was me, or just because it was a woman, or any other reason that would have stopped him from trying to save anyone else that needed the help. I hope the only reason he chose me to be the one he ran out to save was because I was the only one who was down.
I think he would have done it for anyone. He was there for a reason, and he was taking his responsibility very seriously. It could have been his superior down, or the medic, or an unknown...he would have done the same thing. It was you, and he gave his life to save you...he did what he felt was right...he wouldn't have had it any other way. How do you think he would have felt if he hadn't gone to help...and he found out you were alive and in pain for a while and he could have saved you and didn't?
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Last edited by Lady Glock; 11-18-2010 at 17:14.. Reason: misspelling
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Old 11-18-2010, 17:18   #5984
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Now hold it, I'm not looking for discarded beer cans, I want the ones that still have some beer in them! I thought that would get your attention!

Seriously though, I've love a miracle. I'd even love part of a miracle where I just make some good progress. I swear at times I think I'll never get any better and that's when a couple of those demons in my head start sounding pretty convincing. I was thinking back to something RottnJP said a while back about the reason the medic was able to save me that day was that my pre-sentient lizard brain was just refusing to give up as long as I have the medic there mashing my chest. My doc seems to think that the day I stopped breathing that part of me was ready to give up.

You're probably right about Greg. I think he would be more inclined to save you since he knew you, but I think you're right, he would go after them, too. I don't think it had anything to do with you being a woman. Those MOH recipients went after men.

It's not that I don't try to convice myself that it's not my fault. I tell myself that, I read these posts like yours over and over, and then read them some more, and sometimes I think I'm starting to get it through my head. Then the guilt comes flooding back in and I'm right back where I started..
Keep reading those, and doing the writing assignments. We're going to beat this guilt, eventually. Unfortunately, just like the chest pain, it's just going to take time. Keep praying, that helps.

Just keep telling yourself that you had good intentions, and you didn't get him killed on purpose.
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Last edited by BobInTX; 11-19-2010 at 09:33.. Reason: you don't win the medal
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:01   #5985
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I am very thankful that you are here.
Let it happen...explore the power of forgiveness.

Wolfe you were all just being who you are. If your roles were reversed
Gred would be shot up and you would be dead. You are both honorable
soldiers. Accept it and let it be...

Do you talk to anyone else who was there? Is it possible that a third person
is riddled with useless guilt? Wolfe let it be...honor who you are, honor who
Greg was...stop this, the power is yours. Come back to you and the folks
who love you which includes us.
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:04   #5986
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Three? The dog?
Of course the dog. This little silly dog gives genuine pure love puppy hugs.
If I could only be the friend that this little critter is to me....
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:17   #5987
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Love you sweetheart
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Old 11-19-2010, 01:26   #5988
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I got you a bowl of chicken soup also, sweetheart
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Old 11-19-2010, 07:38   #5989
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I got you a bowl of chicken soup also, sweetheart: hugs:
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Yummmm, that looks so much better than the slop the DFAC served today.

I knew there was a reason I loved you, okie.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-19-2010, 09:03   #5990
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Yummmm, that looks so much better than the slop the DFAC served today.

I knew there was a reason I loved you, okie.
Awwwww shucks Ma'am
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Old 11-19-2010, 09:38   #5991
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Of course the dog. This little silly dog gives genuine pure love puppy hugs.
If I could only be the friend that this little critter is to me....
Ditto to mine. Except he's a big silly dog. He lays in the bathroom floor every morning to get his belly rubs.

Since our cat died we have a black cat with white feet hanging around our back yard. He's keeping the mice and snakes away, so my wife's been feeding him the last week or so. He won't let us near him. The dog pretty much ignores him.
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Old 11-19-2010, 09:42   #5992
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Yummmm, that looks so much better than the slop the DFAC served today.

I knew there was a reason I loved you, okie.
Now he just has to figure out how to get it to you. Or get you to it. Even better.

How is/are the knee/chest/sleep/nightmares/therapy/PT/prayers today, Wolfe?

Did I leave anything out?
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Old 11-19-2010, 12:51   #5993
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Now he just has to figure out how to get it to you. Or get you to it. Even better.

How is/are the knee/chest/sleep/nightmares/therapy/PT/prayers today, Wolfe?

Did I leave anything out?
I like both options, but the second is definitely better.

Knee seems mostly OK, or at least as OK as it's going to be.
Chest feels like....... well, it feels like someone shot me. Pretty much just the 'normal' pain today, but that's plenty, trust me.
Nightmares, still there, but for the most part feels like I'm watching instead of participating.
Therapy is painful as usual. Today my terrorist did what he calls his baseline tests that he does every so often. That involved checking my range of motion, which is good, my strength, which is bad, and my ability to push or lift without pain, which is almost non-existant. We did notice that light resistance hurts a little less than it has in the past, though. Of course pain tests are subjective and would vary from day to day.
Prayers I'm working on, haven't been able to concentrate worth a damn. I went by my old CHU and thought of the demons I locked inside at your suggestion and wondered how they got out and found me in my new CHU. I tried to drop them off there again, but they weren't falling for that. So I have to keep telling one in particular to **** off.

I think you covered the critical stuff. Of course my shrink will want to know why you didn't ask how I felt about it all.............
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-19-2010, 15:39   #5994
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I think I know how you feel. It hurts and makes you feel like crap.

One of these days you're going to kick him in the chest and say "how does that feel? Huh? Huh!"
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Old 11-19-2010, 16:33   #5995
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I think I know how you feel. It hurts and makes you feel like crap.

One of these days you're going to kick him in the chest and say "how does that feel? Huh? Huh!"
You've got that part about right.

I've thought of that, but my luck he'd kick me back and I'd REALLY be hurting. Or dead.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX

If Greg had not tried to save you and You died, would it be because your life was less valuable than his life?
I have no way to know his reasons.

Why wouldnít Greg have been labeled a coward if he had not tried to save you?
Because he would have been smart to stay the hell down.

A lot of soldiers, including other women, have been wounded and killed as a result of IEDís in Afghanistan and Iraq. Do you consider them to be heroes?
Tough question. Iíd guess that most of them are, unless they did something that caused themselves to get hurt. And I mean deliberate or stupid, not accidental.
Is it possible that you could be killed by the enemy today?
Sure, if they rocket the damn base again.

Whose idea was it to go to the base by convoy?
The person that offered me the convoy in the first place, I would imagine. Or someone in his chain of command.

Whose idea was it for Greg to go on the convoy?
I think it was Gregís. Not sure, though.

If Greg had saved you and he had lived, how would your life be different now? Good question.
My chest would still be healing, and Iíd still have the psychosis from the drugs I reacted too, and PTSD, but I wouldnít have the survivorís guilt. I really donít know how much would be different right now because of it.

Because you lived and he died, is your life more valuable than Gregís was?
Iím not sure I understand the question, but I think the answer is no.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-19-2010, 16:44   #5996
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I'm not sure I understand it either. I wrote this up several months ago so I don't really remember what I meant. I'm sure it was something really deep and thought provoking.

I kind of think it's one of those rhetorical type questions.

I think you got the right answer.
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Old 11-19-2010, 16:57   #5997
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Here's your hug and I'm sorry about the pain in your chest. I know pain wears you down both physically and mentally. It would be nice if there was a special machine that could recharge the body's energy because I know it's very hard to keep picking yourself off the floor.
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Old 11-19-2010, 23:57   #5998
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Here's your hug and I'm sorry about the pain in your chest. I know pain wears you down both physically and mentally. It would be nice if there was a special machine that could recharge the body's energy because I know it's very hard to keep picking yourself off the floor.
If you could invent a machine like that you'd be rich. There are so many people that could use that, I'd be on a waiting list to get one.
but since you haven't invented it yet I'll take your instead.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-20-2010, 05:57   #5999
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If you could invent a machine like that you'd be rich. There are so many people that could use that, I'd be on a waiting list to get one.
but since you haven't invented it yet I'll take your instead.
Sweetheart; if such a machine existed, the kind folks of GT would make certain you had your very own. I hope your day has gone well. These are squeeze free and a gentle . Please give Miss Mandy a scratch behind the ears for me.
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Old 11-20-2010, 09:26   #6000
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Sucking up to the cat, I see. Does that work? I seem to keep getting in the doghouse (excuse the expression) with her. I'm tired of sleeping with one eye open.
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