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Old 11-04-2010, 10:49   #5841
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Sweetheart, every time you get back up and concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other that is progress and the demons are made weaker. Good for you! The sleep of the just for Miss Lone tonight and every night.
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Old 11-04-2010, 11:09   #5842
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Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post
I'm also glad to see you back. We have missed you around here.......

Let's just say,....I was on an unplanned vacation. Lady_Wolfe "invited" me to come back.
I've missed you all as well. I heard I missed L_W's birthday as well,....she's now........




















26!
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:51   #5843
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I think my faith isn't strong at all. It wasn't that great to begin with, it's been questioned a lot in the last 23 months. I don't know, maybe I'll come out with a whole new view on things. I wish I could find that courage you speak of.

Mandy, did you hide that courage from me?
Faith isn't strong, huh? Then why do you keep asking for prayers for 23Skidoo and are thankful for our prayers for you? I've seen you on other threads saying you will pray for someone. You believe God exist and that he answers prayers, is why. Of course you've questioned your faith since you got hurt. Who wouldn't? I think it is a safe bet to say that you are relying more on God these days than when you were the woman with the big revolvers. I believe God and his angels are with you right now. Why? Because we keep asking them to be.

It's during times like these that Satan does his best to test your faith. That's why you have these awful demons in your head. They can't win because we keep asking God to protect you.

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I just had to read this again.

I thought those feelings might be going through your head.

The pull I did a few days back is mostly back to the 'normal' pain, so I was lucky there. It hurt bad enough I (and my Doc) was worried I might have re-injured myself. Hawk, he agrees that I have to let the drunk guys fall off my lap next time, but he said I should catch you.

Sometimes I look back, or read back to where I was and I can see the progress, other times I'm too busy trying to put one foot in from of the other and trying not to fall. Or falling and having to get back up and start again. That's the hardest part.
You just have to keep doing it. You're healing, even though you can't see it. You're getting the care you need, and you're getting your finances straight. You're not just sitting there in limbo, you're accomplishing something.

You know the worst is past, don't you? You're not on a stretcher with some guy pumping on your chest, probably yelling "don't die on me!"
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:53   #5844
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Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
Let's just say,....I was on an unplanned vacation. Lady_Wolfe "invited" me to come back.
I've missed you all as well. I heard I missed L_W's birthday as well,....she's now........

26!
The bad part is I missed my brithday too.


Actually mine's in Spring, so you didn't miss a thing. 26 years old?!?!? You want to make sure I keep on "inviting" you, don't you?



Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner
I'm glad you are back to what you consider normal and hope even that is improving steadily. I know you would like to have no pain at all and we would all like that for you but you have to be patient.

You have made a lot more progress than you realize but your aer right about having a long way to go. Keep getting back up and starting again.
I'm back up, I'm trudging along, and my physical terrorist is back to torturing me. Oh well, 2 out of 3 aint bad.......

I know, I know, you're going to tell me that it's good that he can go back to his usual torture.
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:54   #5845
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...



The pull I did a few days back is mostly back to the 'normal' pain, so I was lucky there. It hurt bad enough I (and my Doc) was worried I might have re-injured myself. Hawk, he agrees that I have to let the drunk guys fall off my lap next time, but he said I should catch you. Good thing I don't drink.

Sometimes I look back, or read back to where I was and I can see the progress, other times I'm too busy trying to put one foot in from of the other and trying not to fall. Or falling and having to get back up and start again. That's the hardest part.
Major Pappy Boyington, a MEDAL OF HONOR winner, said "Show me a hero and I'll show you a [human being]." (Actually, he said bum, but that is just a word for fallible humans.) That you question yourself and your faith is normal, especially when going through a long and painful struggle, is as human as you can get.

As you recall, I used to tell you that a lot of what you were feeling was normal. So I'm just telling you again. You're still a normal human with all these feelings.


Louis L'Amour said in one of his books that courage is defined as getting up just as many times as you get knocked down.

Admiral Nelson defined a hero as one who inspires courage in others.

Paul defined faith as believing in what is not seen.

You have gotten up every time you've been knocked down.

You have inspired many to keep getting up, both those who have acknowledged it here and just those who have read and been inspired.

You have never really forsaken your belief that you will get well and get on with your life.

Here's to a faithful courageous human hero, who doesn't know all the ups and downs yet to come, but knows where the finish line is. (And is very likely to be upset with me for using those words about her. )

Love, Prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you in my arms as you sleep.

Hawk

PS. I was figuring on a harness that would let it pull unmercifully, but stop short of pulling it off.

PPS. Did I mention wrapping him in pigskin for this operation.

PPPS. You're allowed to shoot him all you want. No one else can.
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:54   #5846
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And courage? Girl, please. You've got more courage in your little finger than I've got in my whole body.
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Old 11-04-2010, 12:56   #5847
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Love you sweetheart
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Old 11-04-2010, 14:05   #5848
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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
And courage? Girl, please. You've got more courage in your little finger than I've got in my whole body.
So that's where all my courage went. My little finger! No wonder I couldn't find it!


Methinks you underestimate yourself.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-04-2010, 14:50   #5849
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^^^ditto
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Old 11-04-2010, 17:06   #5850
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Originally Posted by okie View Post
Love you sweetheart: smootchie:: hugs:




Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
Major Pappy Boyington, a MEDAL OF HONOR winner, said "Show me a hero and I'll show you a [human being]." (Actually, he said bum, but that is just a word for fallible humans.) That you question yourself and your faith is normal, especially when going through a long and painful struggle, is as human as you can get.

As you recall, I used to tell you that a lot of what you were feeling was normal. So I'm just telling you again. You're still a normal human with all these feelings.


Louis L'Amour said in one of his books that courage is defined as getting up just as many times as you get knocked down.

Admiral Nelson defined a hero as one who inspires courage in others.

Paul defined faith as believing in what is not seen.

You have gotten up every time you've been knocked down.

You have inspired many to keep getting up, both those who have acknowledged it here and just those who have read and been inspired.

You have never really forsaken your belief that you will get well and get on with your life.

Here's to a faithful courageous human hero, who doesn't know all the ups and downs yet to come, but knows where the finish line is. (And is very likely to be upset with me for using those words about her. : tongueout: )

Love, Prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you in my arms as you sleep.

Hawk

PS. I was figuring on a harness that would let it pull unmercifully, but stop short of pulling it off.

PPS. Did I mention wrapping him in pigskin for this operation.

PPPS. You're allowed to shoot him all you want. No one else can.
“Show me a hero and I’ll show you a bum”,…. Hmmmmmmmm, not sure what point he was trying to make, but I don’t often think of myself as a bum. Don’t often think of myself as a hero either, but I’m not upset that you call me that. I can see why you think I am, based on the definition you give here. I may not completely agree, but I can see your point. But I always thought of a hero as someone who put themselves in danger to save other lives. Pretty narrow definition, actually. Then last July, the day after I called the police to Skidoo’s house I was sitting in a friend’s office after fixing what I had gone there for. I was upset and more than a little exhausted, having stayed up the night before calling for updates and posting in here. She could tell I wasn’t feeling well, so she made tea while I told her about Skidoo’s stroke. She asked a few questions, including how I found out, so I told her what I did. She stopped what she was doing and said “You’re a hero in that man’s eyes”. I really didn’t feel like a hero, but had to agree with what she said. What one person may not consider a hero another does. If I’ve managed to inspire courage or anything else good in anyone here then I’ve given back a small part of what I’ve gotten.

I think at times I have lost the hope that I’d ever get better, but at times have thought “Well, I can’t get any worse!” Of course I thought that when I first started taking those anti-depressants and was I ever wrong! I went for a while there that I really thought there was no way I’d ever get better. That contributed to my just wanting to give up and die because I couldn’t stand the thought of going on the way I was. And being on meds that screwed my head up sure contributed to those thoughts….

I can’t see the finish line yet, but it’s got to be up there somewhere.

back to you.


Oh yeah…. About that Afghani bastard… Now you’ve got the harness idea right, and I like the pigskin idea. If he gets so hungry he begs for food we’ll offer him pig’s feet. I might ask if one of you guys would mind doing the shooting for me. Even the thought of touching an AK is making me shake and cry. Besides, the recoil would hurt!
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-04-2010, 19:05   #5851
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" But I always thought of a hero as someone who put themselves in danger to save other lives."

Like somebody trying to get combat computers where they need to be so they take a convoy through enemy territory? Yeah, I'd agree with that.
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Old 11-04-2010, 19:07   #5852
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Wolfe, you and I cross-posted when I wrote #5843 so be sure you read it.
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Old 11-04-2010, 23:35   #5853
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Wolfe, you and I cross-posted when I wrote #5843 so be sure you read it.
I'm glad you pointed that out, I had missed it.

I'll re-re-read that on and think about it for later.

One thing though, I doubt that medic was yelling "Don't die on me!". Based on the personality I saw both times I talked to him I'll bet he was yelling "*****, if you don't quit croaking on me I'm gonna leave you dead!!!"
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 11-05-2010, 00:31   #5854
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“Show me a hero and I’ll show you a bum”,…. Hmmmmmmmm, not sure what point he was trying to make, but I don’t often think of myself as a bum. Don’t often think of myself as a hero either, but I’m not upset that you call me that.
Pappy was what they used to call "a man's man." He had a knack for flying and intuitively knew how to shoot down the enemy. For that they called him a hero, but like many called hero he didn't feel it for himself. He fit in flying, but not so much on the ground where his drinking was "excessive" almost equaling his arrogance, thus in military terms, a bum. But man, what a flier! He flew like he didn't plan on going home or like Jocko would say, "He flew his planes like he stole 'em."

I see you as a hero because you DO get up each morning and walk that mile especially when it is a bad day. I know you'd rather not, but that's what makes you brave - you do it anyway. It must be AM there by now, so I hope you slept some last night and that today is easier.
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:25   #5855
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.....One thing though, I doubt that medic was yelling "Don't die on me!". Based on the personality I saw both times I talked to him I'll bet he was yelling "*****, if you don't quit croaking on me I'm gonna leave you dead!!!"
That Medic, with all his issues, never gave up on YOU!
He saw something in YOU that was worth fighting for.
Greg saw something in YOU that was worth risking his life for.

When you have days that are very hard, remember, there are a lot
of people fighting for YOU!
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Old 11-05-2010, 07:11   #5856
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I'm glad you pointed that out, I had missed it.

I'll re-re-read that on and think about it for later.

One thing though, I doubt that medic was yelling "Don't die on me!". Based on the personality I saw both times I talked to him I'll bet he was yelling "*****, if you don't quit croaking on me I'm gonna leave you dead!!!"
Yeah, I figured that, but I was trying to be nice. But in his defense, it worked, didn't it?
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Old 11-05-2010, 10:43   #5857
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I'm glad you pointed that out, I had missed it.

I'll re-re-read that on and think about it for later.

One thing though, I doubt that medic was yelling "Don't die on me!". Based on the personality I saw both times I talked to him I'll bet he was yelling "*****, if you don't quit croaking on me I'm gonna leave you dead!!!"
Wolfe if you could hear the things that sometimes get said in a modern ER with the best medical equipment available then you would realize that your medic probably said far worse things than just that. Maybe it was a good thing you were unconscious.

Quote:
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That Medic, with all his issues, never gave up on YOU!
He saw something in YOU that was worth fighting for.
Greg saw something in YOU that was worth risking his life for.

When you have days that are very hard, remember, there are a lot
of people fighting for YOU!
Those people are with you in Iraq and here on the internet all over the world but we all care for you and are pulling for you to get better.

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Yeah, I figured that, but I was trying to be nice. But in his defense, it worked, didn't it?
I have to wonder if maybe he scared her into reviving for fear of what he might do if she did not.

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" But I always thought of a hero as someone who put themselves in danger to save other lives."

Like somebody trying to get combat computers where they need to be so they take a convoy through enemy territory? Yeah, I'd agree with that.
BobInTX were you ever on the debate team? I think you just scored a point here. I agree with her too.
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Old 11-05-2010, 11:11   #5858
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^^^ No, but that just leaped off the page to me.
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Old 11-05-2010, 17:11   #5859
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Wolfe if you could hear the things that sometimes get said in a modern ER with the best medical equipment available then you would realize that your medic probably said far worse things than just that. Maybe it was a good thing you were unconscious.
.
Are you saying you use filthy words?!?!

Yeah right, I've heard you cuss a blue streak that could rival one of mine. You just do it a little less often. Truthfully if I posted what I'd bet that medic really said Eric would hang a big fat lock on this thread. What I posted was the general idea in PG-13.



Quote:
Originally Posted by OldLincoln View Post
Pappy was what they used to call "a man's man." He had a knack for flying and intuitively knew how to shoot down the enemy. For that they called him a hero, but like many called hero he didn't feel it for himself. He fit in flying, but not so much on the ground where his drinking was "excessive" almost equaling his arrogance, thus in military terms, a bum. But man, what a flier! He flew like he didn't plan on going home or like Jocko would say, "He flew his planes like he stole 'em."

I see you as a hero because you DO get up each morning and walk that mile especially when it is a bad day. I know you'd rather not, but that's what makes you brave - you do it anyway. It must be AM there by now, so I hope you slept some last night and that today is easier.
I got to give him credit for having nads, he's braver than I ever thought of being. Wish I could thank him for his service. I see the parallel you point out, though. I'm not the best person all around either. I'm not arrogant, but I have my share of other flaws. I think you're saying that shouldn't take away from the things I've done right and that makes sense. It's a good thing it doesn't work that way, too.



Quote:
Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
That Medic, with all his issues, never gave up on YOU!
He saw something in YOU that was worth fighting for.
Greg saw something in YOU that was worth risking his life for.

When you have days that are very hard, remember, there are a lot
of people fighting for YOU!
No, I got to give that medic credit, he didn't quit when most would have. I got to give him credit for that, since I couldn't give him a hug when I saw him again. He claimed he did for a medal, and a part of me believes him I also think he's the type who wouldn't want to accept defeat. Either way, he pulled off what I've been told a bunch of times was a miracle for whatever reason.

Greg, I just can't imagine what he was thinking with an Afghani still there waiting for him. I like to think I'd have done the same if he'd been shot first, but I might have been too scared to be able to move. I just wish he'd been too scared, too. Or at least I did up until July 21st. Now I know that just more than me and Greg would be affected.

I guess it's a good think there's a lot of people fighting for me, I know I couldn't do it alone.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Yeah, I figured that, but I was trying to be nice. But in his defense, it worked, didn't it?
Yeah, he knew what he was doing. One thing I was tols is that he had a lot of training even beyond what the military gives, and he had to draw on it that day. I think if he'd gotten me halfway to the hospital and not been able to revive me again he might have pulled his 9 and shot me again.

He probably told me that a few times, too.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
" But I always thought of a hero as someone who put themselves in danger to save other lives."

Like somebody trying to get combat computers where they need to be so they take a convoy through enemy territory? Yeah, I'd agree with that.
I meant it like someone who runs into a burning building to get someone, or someone who would run into the line of fire to drag someone else to cover, but OK, Touche'. I still don't think of myself as any hero, but I can see why you might. I can understand being called a hero, at least for that day. Does that mean I'll be a hero all my life, I doubt it. Except maybe to Skidoo. But maybe to one person is enough.

You should have been on the debate team....
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 11-05-2010, 17:19   #5860
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^^^ I was Enough of a nerd in high school without that.
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