Lone_Wolfe - Page 285

***okie*** · 04-08-2011, 18:12

Love you sweetheart, keep your chin up honey

BobInTX · 04-08-2011, 19:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Ugh, those sound kinda like my hours!

Miss you!

No, they found me. Took a couple of hours, but they found me.

Wow, that great about your DIL's friend. Wonder how long it'll take her to completely recover. But you were right, she's an amateur, she was only dead a half hour.

I had to see him again today, and he started asking more stuff about what I was thinking, and talking about how Greg might have been thinking this or thinking that, etc, when I said "Wouldn't adrenalin cause him to do something he might have already decided not to, or fear stop him from doing something he'd decided to do?" My shrink told me I had a good point, and that makes it all the harder to know what he might have been thinking or what ultimately drove him to break cover to save me.

He kept asking me how I felt about different things, and did I see it any different after having re-enacted it, when I really don't know since I relive it in my mind constantly anyway, but today's session didn't leave me crying quite so hard as the last few. I'm even going to refrain from calling him as bastard as many times as I did yesterday. Maybe he is getting results.

You did have a good point. Just shows you how many variables were involved.

Silent_Runner · 04-09-2011, 10:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by sawgrass

one more week of 7am to 9pm

sawgrass would you like to become a nurse?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

He's getting results. Keep working hard, and know that we're all here thinking about you and praying for you.

These prayers are working.

Speaking of prayers working, the friend of my daughter in-law I told you about went home from rehab this week. She really is a miracle. Doctors think she will completely recover, and she has a lot already.

BobInTX that is great news about your daughter in law's friend. I will continue the prayers.

I see progress also. Wolfe you are beating this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

I had to see him again today, and he started asking more stuff about what I was thinking, and talking about how Greg might have been thinking this or thinking that, etc, when I said "Wouldn't adrenalin cause him to do something he might have already decided not to, or fear stop him from doing something he'd decided to do?" My shrink told me I had a good point, and that makes it all the harder to know what he might have been thinking or what ultimately drove him to break cover to save me.

He kept asking me how I felt about different things, and did I see it any different after having re-enacted it, when I really don't know since I relive it in my mind constantly anyway, but today's session didn't leave me crying quite so hard as the last few. I'm even going to refrain from calling him as bastard as many times as I did yesterday. Maybe he is getting results.

It sounds like you are beginning to make peace with this. Keep working at it and you will get there. We are here for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

He pointed out that we can never really understand Greg's thought process completely, although we have a pretty good idea what he was thinking. The main thing he wanted to reinforce in my head was that it was Greg's thoughts and decision, not mine. I keep saying I know that, but he's not convinced and says he's not done with me yet. Bastard.

Your shrink is right. It was not your decision to make and you bear no fault in the choice he made. We are glad he made that choice although that he lost his life saving yours.

BobInTX · 04-09-2011, 11:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

sawgrass would you like to become a nurse?

BobInTX that is great news about your daughter in law's friend. I will continue the prayers.

I see progress also. Wolfe you are beating this.

It sounds like you are beginning to make peace with this. Keep working at it and you will get there. We are here for you.

Your shrink is right. It was not your decision to make and you bear no fault in the choice he made. We are glad he made that choice although that he lost his life saving yours.

We saw the friend at our grandsons soccer game this morning. She looked great.

Glock26girl · 04-09-2011, 14:37

Regardless of the cause, Greg breaking cover wasn't your fault. It couldn't have been, you were laying on the ground unconscious. I simply think he was a hero, regardless of his reasoning. Gentle

***Lone_Wolfe*** · 04-09-2011, 17:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

We saw the friend at our grandsons soccer game this morning. She looked great.

Wow, that's really great! I'll bet you didn't tell her you called her an amateur!

Quote:

Originally Posted by okie

Love you sweetheart, keep your chin up honey: smootchie:

Love you too okie, how you liking the new job?

Quote:

Originally Posted by M&P Shooter

Hello Wolfe

How have you been doing?

Hey M&P! I've been doing a bit better, still working on it. How have you been?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

You did have a good point. Just shows you how many variables were involved.

True, there are probably more variables than even me and my shrink combined can come up with. He was coming up with some more today, and when he asked what viewpoint I default to when I think about it I wasn't sure what he was trying to ask. He tried to clarify, but I don't think I ever got it. I know when it pops into my head without warning, which it does constantly, the first thing I usually feel is the guilt that I've been trying to fight off. That may have been what he meant by his question, because he said he wants to have me get to where the first thought is something other than guilt, and if that floods in to be able to fight it off quickly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

Regardless of the cause, Greg breaking cover wasn't your fault. It couldn't have been, you were laying on the ground unconscious. I simply think he was a hero, regardless of his reasoning. Gentle: hugs:: hugs:

That he is, most definitely is, a hero. I just wish he was a live hero and I could thank him. That is, after I read him the riot act for breaking cover under enemy fire.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

I see progress also. Wolfe you are beating this.

It sounds like you are beginning to make peace with this. Keep working at it and you will get there. We are here for you.

Your shrink is right. It was not your decision to make and you bear no fault in the choice he made. We are glad he made that choice although that he lost his life saving yours.

I'm getting there, I think. Slowly. Today didn't hurt as bad as the last few weeks at my shrink, but I think I'm kind of numb again. My shrink's not too worried about that, in fact he said he expected it. He even said he thought it might have happened sooner because of the way he's been pushing me.

I don't know if I'm really making peace with it yet, but I hope so. My shrink went for quite a while not really forcing me to talk about it if I really didn't want to, although he'd lead the conversation there a lot of times. But lately he's pretty much shoving it down my throat and making me pick it apart 9 ways from Sunday. It's hard as hell to do, but I'm glad I'm doing it with him there instead of by myself like I know I would anyway.

***RottnJP*** · 04-09-2011, 18:03

Hey beautiful!

You know, funny thing you mentioning keeping cover- I had a tactical medic class today with my fire dept., and in our first assessment drill I totally let the part about keeping low & keeping cover go in one ear and out the other as I got into running the drill... At the end, one of the guys said, "Fine job with the quick assessment, but you sure made on hell of a target..." D'oh!

It's a risk of focusing on the helping- I forgot the basics. Good thing I was just doing it in a classroom.

BobInTX · 04-09-2011, 19:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Wow, that's really great! I'll bet you didn't tell her you called her an amateur!

Love you too okie, how you liking the new job?

Hey M&P! I've been doing a bit better, still working on it. How have you been?

True, there are probably more variables than even me and my shrink combined can come up with. He was coming up with some more today, and when he asked what viewpoint I default to when I think about it I wasn't sure what he was trying to ask. He tried to clarify, but I don't think I ever got it. I know when it pops into my head without warning, which it does constantly, the first thing I usually feel is the guilt that I've been trying to fight off. That may have been what he meant by his question, because he said he wants to have me get to where the first thought is something other than guilt, and if that floods in to be able to fight it off quickly.

That he is, most definitely is, a hero. I just wish he was a live hero and I could thank him. That is, after I read him the riot act for breaking cover under enemy fire.

I'm getting there, I think. Slowly. Today didn't hurt as bad as the last few weeks at my shrink, but I think I'm kind of numb again. My shrink's not too worried about that, in fact he said he expected it. He even said he thought it might have happened sooner because of the way he's been pushing me.

I don't know if I'm really making peace with it yet, but I hope so. My shrink went for quite a while not really forcing me to talk about it if I really didn't want to, although he'd lead the conversation there a lot of times. But lately he's pretty much shoving it down my throat and making me pick it apart 9 ways from Sunday. It's hard as hell to do, but I'm glad I'm doing it with him there instead of by myself like I know I would anyway.

No, I didn't talk to her. My wife did. She said she didn't recognize the wife at first but finally did. I was wrong. It was 45 minutes, not 30.

Instead of guilt, smile and think of gregs heroism and just being alive.

sawgrass · 04-09-2011, 20:55

LW you have a lot of living left to do. You're getting better.

***Lone_Wolfe*** · 04-10-2011, 18:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by RottnJP

Hey beautiful!

You know, funny thing you mentioning keeping cover- I had a tactical medic class today with my fire dept., and in our first assessment drill I totally let the part about keeping low & keeping cover go in one ear and out the other as I got into running the drill... At the end, one of the guys said, "Fine job with the quick assessment, but you sure made on hell of a target..." D'oh!

It's a risk of focusing on the helping- I forgot the basics. Good thing I was just doing it in a classroom.

Hiya handsome!

Ooops, that's funny.

Better to make the mistakes in the classroom than later when it counts.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

No, I didn't talk to her. My wife did. She said she didn't recognize the wife at first but finally did. I was wrong. It was 45 minutes, not 30.

Instead of guilt, smile and think of gregs heroism and just being alive.

Wow, sounds like she's doing pretty good. I wonder what it is she's still here for.

The smiling part isn't real easy yet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sawgrass

LW you have a lot of living left to do. You're getting better.

I'm trying. My physical terrorist took a turn abusing me today. We did some stretching and then he said he wanted to see how well I could drive. He had a big pickup and I just about couldn't get into it because it was high off the ground. I finally managed to get in, and my chest made a whole series of complaints about that. Then trying to drive, even 5mph, brought out a whole nother series of complaints.

Part of the problems is what passes for roads here. They're mostly rutted out dirt path and the paved roads have holes a small truck could disappear in. At least I didn't run the truck I was driving into anything, although it was hard as hell to turn it. I had that same problem when I was driving in the States. If the road isn't all bumpy I can just put my hands relaxed on the wheel and I'm OK, but turning is hard.

OK, I'm going to quit grumbling, the sleep meds feel like they're finally taking over. They should, they have planty of extra pain meds helping them out. Plus I didn't see my shrink today and am kind of numb mentally.

sawgrass · 04-10-2011, 19:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Hiya handsome!

Ooops, that's funny.

Better to make the mistakes in the classroom than later when it counts.

Wow, sounds like she's doing pretty good. I wonder what it is she's still here for.

The smiling part isn't real easy yet.

I'm trying. My physical terrorist took a turn abusing me today. We did some stretching and then he said he wanted to see how well I could drive. He had a big pickup and I just about couldn't get into it because it was high off the ground. I finally managed to get in, and my chest made a whole series of complaints about that. Then trying to drive, even 5mph, brought out a whole nother series of complaints.

Part of the problems is what passes for roads here. They're mostly rutted out dirt path and the paved roads have holes a small truck could disappear in. At least I didn't run the truck I was driving into anything, although it was hard as hell to turn it. I had that same problem when I was driving in the States. If the road isn't all bumpy I can just put my hands relaxed on the wheel and I'm OK, but turning is hard.

OK, I'm going to quit grumbling, the sleep meds feel like they're finally taking over. They should, they have planty of extra pain meds helping them out. Plus I didn't see my shrink today and am kind of numb mentally.

Well....guess we don't have to worry about the bike for now do we?

LW it's a process. The fact that driving was attempted is progress.
You are going to be able to drive and many other things. As you continue to
realize that you are supposed to be here and you come to terms with Greg's death your mind is going to allow your body to heal. You are a strong smart woman. You're getting better.

ok....I've been watching The Masters most of the weekend. When you said drive...I thought to myself....'she cannot be ready for golf'.

BobInTX · 04-10-2011, 20:35

Wolfe, she has 3 small children. I think that's purpose enough.

Glock26girl · 04-10-2011, 22:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by sawgrass

LW it's a process. The fact that driving was attempted is progress.
You are going to be able to drive and many other things. As you continue to
realize that you are supposed to be here and you come to terms with Greg's death your mind is going to allow your body to heal. You are a strong smart woman. You're getting better.

That is really profound, Bob!! That is it almost in a nutshell!! Wolfe getting over the hurdle of accepting Greg's death as NOT HER FAULT, will allow her body to heal. You are such a good, wise man, Bob.

***MB-G26*** · 04-11-2011, 04:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by engineer151515

<<< grrrrrrrrr

<<<< feels helpless.

<<<< growls when feeling helpless.

Prayers

<--------------- also feels helpless

<--------------- also growls, as well as bEEches, grumbles, and sometimes goes for a walk in a patch of forest and actually shoots a tree stump or two while growling.

<---------------- Prayers, not so much [only 'caz I don't "do" religion] - but spiritually, sending good vibes to LW daily.......

<---------------- Wish the damn authentic Dream Catcher was doing more good than it sounds like it is[n't]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{gentle hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]

***MB-G26*** · 04-11-2011, 04:59

I have been more than rottenly diligent in keeping up with this thread. If you know me or my recent situational complications, then you know why; if you don't know me, don't worry about it.

Anyway, purpose of this post; hugs, and more hugs, and support, and cheek kisses and held hands to each and every person in this thread who has also been dealing with a loss, a near-loss, and/or is having a helluva time deal/coping with which/whatever, and so on.

LOVE GOING OUT TO ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF YOU!!
M

BobInTX · 04-11-2011, 08:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

That is really profound, Bob!! That is it almost in a nutshell!! Wolfe getting over the hurdle of accepting Greg's death as NOT HER FAULT, will allow her body to heal. You are such a good, wise man, Bob.

Thanks, except you were quoting Sawgrass.

She IS a wise woman, though.

Glock26girl · 04-11-2011, 15:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Thanks, except you were quoting Sawgrass.

She IS a wise woman, though.

I have always known that Saw Grass had a good grasp of the situation and is fully vested in Wolfe's recovery. Sometimes I don't pay close enough attention to who I'm quoting.

Magnus2131 · 04-11-2011, 16:42

I figure one of these could not hurt. Done gently of course.

***Lone_Wolfe*** · 04-11-2011, 18:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magnus2131

I figure one of these could not hurt. Done gently of course.

Nope, can't hurt at all, coming from you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sawgrass

Well....guess we don't have to worry about the bike for now do we?: supergrin:
I still remember my previous attempt to ride. Even went out and bought a smaller motorcycle, but still managed to drop it the first time I had to use my arms to control it at all. So I got a brand new bike with .03 miles on it.

LW it's a process. The fact that driving was attempted is progress.
You are going to be able to drive and many other things. As you continue to
realize that you are supposed to be here and you come to terms with Greg's death your mind is going to allow your body to heal. You are a strong smart woman. You're getting better.

ok....I've been watching The Masters most of the weekend. When you said drive...I thought to myself....'she cannot be ready for golf'. : embarassed:

<<< Not a golfer, never has been.

I figure the fact that I didn't run into anything was a good sign, even though I was going just above idle speed.

I'm trying to come to terms with things, guess I wasn't doing as good as I thought I was, so my shrink has been pushing me along. I didn't see him today, I'm still sort of numb and coasting along today. For me it's a bit of a relief, but I know he'll pull out something tomorrow.

Strong and smart? Average, maybe...

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Wolfe, she has 3 small children. I think that's purpose enough.

I think that would be enough reason for me to..........

Oh, never mind!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

That is really profound, Bob!! That is it almost in a nutshell!! Wolfe getting over the hurdle of accepting Greg's death as NOT HER FAULT, will allow her body to heal. You are such a good, wise man, Bob.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

: embarassed:: faint:: wavey:
I have always known that Saw Grass had a good grasp of the situation and is fully vested in Wolfe's recovery. Sometimes I don't pay close enough attention to who I'm quoting. : embarassed:

I saw this earlier, and thought about saying something, but I had to go off and fix something. Then I saw you folks having a little fun here, so.............

Quote:

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Thanks, except you were quoting Sawgrass. : rofl:

She IS a wise woman, though.

Yes, she is. As are you. Wise MAN, that is.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MB-G26

<--------------- also feels helpless

<--------------- also growls, as well as bEEches, grumbles, and sometimes goes for a walk in a patch of forest and actually shoots a tree stump or two while growling.

<---------------- Prayers, not so much [only 'caz I don't "do" religion] - but spiritually, sending good vibes to LW daily.......

<---------------- Wish the damn authentic Dream Catcher was doing more good than it sounds like it is[n't]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{gentle hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]]

: angel:

: upeyes:

<<< is glad she's not a tree stump!

Don't assume the Dream Catcher isn't working. It is, just not as fast as we'd like. The good vibes are reaching me too, I can feel them all the way over here.

None of you are as helpless as I know I must make you feel at times. Just like you've convinced me I'm not as helpless as I've felt so often.

BobInTX · 04-11-2011, 18:14

Good thing we've all got each other to lean on.

***Lone_Wolfe*** · 04-12-2011, 05:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by MB-G26

I have been more than rottenly diligent in keeping up with this thread. If you know me or my recent situational complications, then you know why; if you don't know me, don't worry about it.

Anyway, purpose of this post; hugs, and more hugs, and support, and cheek kisses and held hands to each and every person in this thread who has also been dealing with a loss, a near-loss, and/or is having a helluva time deal/coping with which/whatever, and so on.

LOVE GOING OUT TO ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OF YOU!!
M

And back to you, my friend. I hope things are getting better for you after all you've gone through lately.

This also seems to be a good time to pass along something that I've meant to for a couple days. Skidoo's family could use some more prayers as they are facing losing another member to cancer. His brother-in-law's sister is "standing on the edge of the river, afraid to cross", as his sister put it. According to her doctor she doesn't have more than a few days left. Please pray for an easy passing for her.