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Old 03-08-2011, 15:49   #6926
Lone_Wolfe
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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
I'll see your cat and raise you a granddaughter.
But can I pet the fur off of her like I can the kitty? She's so beautiful.



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Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
Miss Marylin says hello

Okie Memorial Area
I'm going to pet the fur off her head when I get there.

<<<-- for you, engineer.



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Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
<<<<<<< Is always ready to stand at Miss Lone's side and whack some demons.
I posted something in Skidoo's thread about his brother that I think we all need to see so we can say a prayer for them now.
http://glocktalk.com/forums/showthre...2#post17008062



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
If the pain in your chest totally disappears let me know, okay? Because I'm praying hard for it.
You sure you want to stick around that long? It may be a while down the road, if ever, but I'll be sure to let you know. But I think the only way for the pain to totally disappear will be for me to be dead, and I kind of doubt that's what you're praying for.



Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
That's cool about Joe Nichols. It really touched me in the video when the guy
is trying to put his leg on, and the line 'I'm getting better at doing the best I
can" made me think of you.
When I read what you wrote it reminded me of the conversation I had with my current doc yesterday. He was talking about how he thought I don'y belong over here and all that stuff. One thing that he said was that he knew my injury would be "very disabling" (his words), and that I wouldn't be able to do a lot of things most people take for granted. For example I can't push open a door that takes a lot of force. There's one like that at the hospital and to open if I have to twist around so my shoulder is against it and slowly lean into it.

Dr Arse saw me doing that and other things and was commenting on the way I've adapted to pretty much not being able to do anything that requires chest muscles. He seems surprised that I can do some things like that, but it's kind of like the guy in that video. He's missing his leg, so he figures out another way to do the things he has to get through his day, even though it may be painful. If I didn't do that I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning because I even do that differently than I used to.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-08-2011, 15:59   #6927
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
But can I pet the fur off of her like I can the kitty? She's so beautiful.
Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind a bit.



You sure you want to stick around that long? It may be a while down the road, if ever, but I'll be sure to let you know. But I think the only way for the pain to totally disappear will be for me to be dead, and I kind of doubt that's what you're praying for.
Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.
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Old 03-08-2011, 16:14   #6928
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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.
I see your prayer and raise you two.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 03-08-2011, 16:55   #6929
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Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.
I'm agreeing with that prayer, Bob! And believing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfe, it sounds like the new doc needed to see you having breathing problems and be able to treat you medically the way he thought was needed, for him to be convinced of the necessity of your being there. He might end up being someone who can help you a lot. I bet he won't talk about taking away your xanax again!

You sound so much better emotionally that I feel really encouraged. I'm sure we all do. We all love and care about you so much. We are praying without ceasing, sweet friend.
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Old 03-09-2011, 07:50   #6930
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
You sure you want to stick around that long? It may be a while down the road, if ever, but I'll be sure to let you know. But I think the only way for the pain to totally disappear will be for me to be dead, and I kind of doubt that's what you're praying for.
That's a negative attitude towards your recovery. I know you are discouraged, but you need to have a positive attitude and believe that God will give you the miracle that everyone wishes for you. I've always heard "Believe it and receive it", I am believing it for you...and I am certain that God will deliver!
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Old 03-09-2011, 08:07   #6931
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Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.

Likes this.

<<<-- I'm all in.
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Old 03-09-2011, 15:12   #6932
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Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
Likes this.

<<<-- I'm all in.




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Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
That's a negative attitude towards your recovery. I know you are discouraged, but you need to have a positive attitude and believe that God will give you the miracle that everyone wishes for you. I've always heard "Believe it and receive it", I am believing it for you...and I am certain that God will deliver!
I didn't think it nagative when I wrote it, just realistic. But I can see why you think that, so I guess I'm guilty as charged. I guess I just figure even if God does decide to heal my chest completely that it won't happen overnight, as much as I'd love for it to happen that way. I want to believe, I really do. It's just hard.



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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Oh, I'm sure she wouldn't mind a bit.
But how would Mom and Dad feel about getting their little girl back bald?

Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.
I really like that prayer and wish it would happen. I'd even be happy for the pain to subside enough that I could cut back on my pain meds. I'd love to be able to get off the Oxy and narcotics. So keep praying, please. Maybe you folks have some pull with God.




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Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
I see your prayer and raise you two.
Actually send a few over to Skidoo's family, especially his brother. Just when he thought he was beating pancreatic cancer it came back. Plus he can't take anymore chemo, so he really needs a miracle now. See the link I posted last night.



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Originally Posted by Glock26girl View Post
I'm agreeing with that prayer, Bob! And believing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfe, it sounds like the new doc needed to see you having breathing problems and be able to treat you medically the way he thought was needed, for him to be convinced of the necessity of your being there. He might end up being someone who can help you a lot. I bet he won't talk about taking away your xanax again!

You sound so much better emotionally that I feel really encouraged. I'm sure we all do. We all love and care about you so much. We are praying without ceasing, sweet friend.
My shrink thinks I sound better too, and he's happy with what he's heard lately. He commented on my still having bad PTSD to work through, but that with the psychosis subsiding finally I'll be able to. He said PTSD is tricky because everyone reacts a little differently when they have it.

I wouldn't mind Dr Arse treating me the way he say fit, as long as he doesn't try something like taking away my Xanax again. If he does I'll have to warn him of what a bunch of GT'ers might want to do to him. I'm picturing a few of you chasing him around with your bats in hand.

He's admitted he won't be able to reduce my pain meds anytime soon, he was hoping to before my last breakdancing episode. I was hoping I could too, but was worried he'd do it in spite of the pain level I had. Right now he's worried about the breathing problems, and I can see why. I'm having problems again now and have for several hours, although it was mild until the last half hour or so. I called and asked for a ride, he should be here any minute. This seems a lot like the last time I got steriod injections, although supposedly I got a lower dose this time. We'll find out, if I don't have any incidents where I quit breathing altogether. But I'm supposed to go in anytime I have an attack at all right now.

Ride's here, night all.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-10-2011, 10:19   #6933
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How ya doing?
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Old 03-10-2011, 11:50   #6934
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How ya doing?
BobInTX that picture in your avatar is darling.

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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Y'all don't understand. I'm praying that it's just gone. Like you get up one morning and you don't have pain anymore. Like...soon. Miraculous. Not dead. Healed. God has that power, ya know.
I will join you in that prayer.

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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I'm going to pet the fur off her head when I get there.

<<<-- for you, engineer.

Dr Arse saw me doing that and other things and was commenting on the way I've adapted to pretty much not being able to do anything that requires chest muscles. He seems surprised that I can do some things like that, but it's kind of like the guy in that video. He's missing his leg, so he figures out another way to do the things he has to get through his day, even though it may be painful. If I didn't do that I wouldn't be able to get up in the morning because I even do that differently than I used to.
Wolfe I would be surprised if you stop petting at that cat's head.

It's good to hear you talking about being able to adapt to the changes to not only your body but your mind too. Some things will never be the same for you and you may not be able to do the things you could before but you are finding new things you can do and new ways to do other things. That is part of your healing.
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I mean, Im mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
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Old 03-10-2011, 15:00   #6935
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How ya doing?
Feeling pretty rough, actually. Damn chest won't cut me a break and it's wearing me down. I'd probably tell you I feel like someone shot me, but then you might shoot me again!

I'm about to head back in, I've been fighting the breathing problems all day. I managed to get some work done, but it's hard. My head's been in a crappy place today, I just wonder if I'll ever really get better. I know I have been and will again, it's just a rough day. Pardon my *****ing. Thankfully it's about over.



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Wolfe I would be surprised if you stop petting at that cat's head.
I never said I would. That would just be the first part with the fur rubbed off.

It's good to hear you talking about being able to adapt to the changes to not only your body but your mind too. Some things will never be the same for you and you may not be able to do the things you could before but you are finding new things you can do and new ways to do other things. That is part of your healing.
I bet I could think of someone who might get a little pist if I think I might figure a way to ride my motorcycles.

Yeah, the physical adapting has been hard but unavoidable. Even little things like getting out of bed or opening a door that I used to take for granted are difficult at times. But sometimes I get a sense of accomplishment when I figure out a different way to do something.

This is going to be short tonight, I'm heading in now. This breathing attack decided to get bad fast. Nite, and thanks for the prayers.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-10-2011, 15:11   #6936
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It's not surprising you feel that way considering your current breathing problems. You're allowed to *****. But this, too, shall pass.

I'm betting the steroids are causing it.

How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.”
Daniel 10:16-18

We'll talk for you.
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Old 03-10-2011, 16:32   #6937
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What kind of steroids are you taking? Prednisone turns me into a big grouch.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 03-10-2011, 20:50   #6938
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I hope you were able to rest and got some relief.
Let us know how you're feeling.
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Old 03-11-2011, 15:48   #6939
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I hope you were able to rest and got some relief.
Let us know how you're feeling.
I was knocked out pretty good last night and really doped up today, so I don't feel as bad as the last few days. I can tell it's from the meds though, I'm in a fog from them. Not that I mind, it's better then the pain. Breathing is still bad, but the rest of me feels like a dishrag.



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What kind of steroids are you taking? Prednisone turns me into a big grouch.
I forgot to ask my doc that today, and don't remember from the last time I asked. Can I blame that on the pain meds?

I'm having a hard time picturing you as a big grouch.



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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
It's not surprising you feel that way considering your current breathing problems. You're allowed to *****. But this, too, shall pass.

I'm betting the steroids are causing it.

How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord? My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.
Daniel 10:16-18

We'll talk for you.
I hope it passes, because I'm doing some serious *****ing! It just seems like if it's not one thing it's another. Anytime my chest gives it a rest my head wants to make things hard. But I can see why that is. My shrink has been trying to keep my mind off things like guilt and that crap lately to keep me from getting too down while I'm dealing with this latest round of chest problems. I've noticed him doing that before, especially when I get really down from it all. He's not real successful, but he tries.

I'm sure the steroids are playing a part, but I was having a lot of pain and breathing problems before I got the injections. I'm hoping it subsides soon, like the last time I got them.

You are talking for me, in many ways. Please just keep asking for relief from the pain, both mental and physical.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-11-2011, 16:07   #6940
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I wish I had the right words to comfort, but I don't.
However, I know you are going to survive this and things are going to improve. You are getting better. I'm sorry that right now is so hard.

Chloe sends a lick on the nose along with a puppy hug.
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Old 03-12-2011, 12:28   #6941
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Marylin has an eye on things.

Okie Memorial Area
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Old 03-12-2011, 12:34   #6942
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Pretty kitty.
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Old 03-12-2011, 15:41   #6943
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Marylin has an eye on things.

Okie Memorial Area
Awwww, my beautiful friend. and for you, too



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Pretty kitty.
amen to that!


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:hugs :: hugs: I wish I had the right words to comfort, but I don't.
However, I know you are going to survive this and things are going to improve. You are getting better. I'm sorry that right now is so hard.

Chloe sends a lick on the nose along with a puppy hug.
Give Chloe a scratch from me, wouldya? Since I don't see you giving her a lick on the nose back.

And yes, you do have the right words.

I told my shrink today what you said here and how I get to feeling so down at times and he started going back through the time he's been seeing me and also back over my records from before and pointing out things I said and how I was a few months, 6 months, a year, even a year and a half ago. All the way back to the day I was diagnosed with drug-induced psychosis. Form a mental/emotional perspective that was the worst point for me. Obviously the worst day for me physically was the day I needed CPR repeatedly.

It was kind of hard to listen to some of the things I said and the way I felt and reacted being repeated back to me. The one thing that stands out so much is that until recently everything I felt seemed like it had a heavy laver over it that made it feel even worse without deing clearly defined. Now it's all pretty well defined, and seems worse at time, not as bad at others. I find myself crying quite a bit lately, but in little bits with little or no warning most of the time. Not like the faucet that turned on almost every time I cried before the last month or so. It feels different now, and my shrink is emphatic that different is good.

So maybe the entire mountain isn't still in front of me. Most of it, yes, but not all of it.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-12-2011, 15:50   #6944
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One day Sweetheart, you'll stand atop that mountain and we'll celebrate your victory over the demons.
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Old 03-12-2011, 17:15   #6945
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Wolfe your post reminded my of a story that one of my friends told me.

She is a Tibetan woman who has never set foot in her homeland. When her family had to flea Tibet on foot her mother was pregnant. She went into labor
as they crossed the Himalayans. They stopped for her to give birth and allowed her to rest. The entire break consisted of only five hours because they were so afraid of being captured. They made it into India and this young woman came to the US on a lottery a few years ago.

One breath and one step at a time.
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I've learned over the years that if you don't get exactly what you want, you'll never satisfy the desire. :cool:
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Old 03-12-2011, 22:08   #6946
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Wolf, I can read your progress and know you are gaining on it. The crying "in little bits with little or no warning most of the time" is a good sign. Many years ago after I "felt recovered" I had a time of what I called "tearing up". It was like a pressure cooker valve letting of some steam and helped my getting over it.

Still, every great once in a while when I get a yelp flash I'll discover a tear, but that's mostly in the past. It takes what seems like forever, but only when looking back do you realize the progress.

You really ARE making progress and it will come faster to you over time. You should be proud of yourself for your painful work paying off. Just keep smiling every chance you get. Funny how a smile even when you don't feel it makes you start feeling better. Side benefit is it makes other wonder what you've been up to.
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Old 03-13-2011, 08:18   #6947
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Love you sweetheart, keep your chin up honey
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Old 03-13-2011, 14:33   #6948
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Hope you are having a tolerable day.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 03-13-2011, 17:27   #6949
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Hope you are having a tolerable day. : wavey:
I'd say that's a good description. My chest is yelling at me, but it's the sharper pain that centered right at or near ground zero, instead if a breathing attack. I seem to tolerate sharper, smaller area pain better than I do pain that covers more of my chest, even if it's a duller pain. It's gotten me to yelp a few times, but it's not as bad as it gets sometimes.

I hate to hear you've been feeing so bad lately, you're in my prayers too.



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Love you sweetheart, keep your chin up honey: smootchie:: hugs:
I got to keep my chin up, but my head down. That'll be quite a feat.

Love you too, okie. hearts:



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One day Sweetheart, you'll stand atop that mountain and we'll celebrate your victory over the demons.
I thought you folks would have the demons beated beyond recognition by then. Of course for me to get to the top of any hill or mountails means my breathing has gotten better than it is now. I like that idea!



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Wolfe your post reminded my of a story that one of my friends told me.

She is a Tibetan woman who has never set foot in her homeland. When her family had to flea Tibet on foot her mother was pregnant. She went into labor
as they crossed the Himalayans. They stopped for her to give birth and allowed her to rest. The entire break consisted of only five hours because they were so afraid of being captured. They made it into India and this young woman came to the US on a lottery a few years ago.

One breath and one step at a time.
Wow, what a way to come into this world. I thought being born in the back seat of a '55 Chevy going 110 down the highway was different. I sure feel for her mom, how that must have hurt. Makes me want to tell my chest to shut the hell up for a change.



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Originally Posted by OldLincoln View Post
Wolf, I can read your progress and know you are gaining on it. The crying "in little bits with little or no warning most of the time" is a good sign. Many years ago after I "felt recovered" I had a time of what I called "tearing up". It was like a pressure cooker valve letting of some steam and helped my getting over it.

Still, every great once in a while when I get a yelp flash I'll discover a tear, but that's mostly in the past. It takes what seems like forever, but only when looking back do you realize the progress.

You really ARE making progress and it will come faster to you over time. You should be proud of yourself for your painful work paying off. Just keep smiling every chance you get. Funny how a smile even when you don't feel it makes you start feeling better. Side benefit is it makes other wonder what you've been up to.
I don't feel recovered yet, or even close, but I'm definitely getting the tearing up incidents. It can come from so many different things, too. Sometimes I'll think about Greg, or about what happened and the after math, other times about the effect it's had on me physically or mentally. Any of those or sometimes nothing at all seems to get me crying lately. Mostly it's thinking about Greg and the guilt and loss that goes with that.

It's really good to hear this from someone who's been here, that what's happening now is good. It's one thing to hear a shrink or doc say it and quite another from a voice of experience. And I like the idea of making other people wonder what I've been up to.....
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 03-13-2011, 17:45   #6950
ancient_serpent
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Knowing how fond you are of hugs, you may be interested to know that I (while home in the US) just got my daughters retired guide dog back (he was living with a very nice older couple for a while) and he (his name is Emery) LOVES giving hugs. I'll try to snap a picture of it later on, but if you were around here I'm sure he'd give you one (and then probably sniff you to make sure you didn't have any treats hidden in your pockets). As it is, he sends his best and one of these.
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Nov 11, 2013 at 11:42