[Lady Glock]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

You booked your flight within 14 days of the flight, didn't you? They really stick it to you.

Had no choice...I booked it as soon as I knew it was necessary. The first person I talked to, I asked why so much more than the other. She yelled "Don't yell at me" and {click}, she hung up!

[BobInTX]

Originally Posted by Lady Glock

Had no choice...I booked it as soon as I knew it was necessary. The first person I talked to, I asked why so much more than the other. She yelled "Don't yell at me" and {click}, she hung up!

Yeah, I knew it was an urgent type situation.

[sawgrass]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Yeah, I knew it was an urgent type situation.

I wasn't aware of this...Lady G is there anything I can do for you in MN?

ETA, they just said there have been over 700 flight cancellations today at MSP.
The second band of heavy snow is just getting here. We have about 8 inches so far.

Lady G pm me if there is anything I can do for you.

[sawgrass]

I'm bored. I took you a pic LW. These flowers are from last week and are
just beginning to open up. Rocks and a bottle of old whiskey in the background. What else could you ask for? I'm waiting for an occasion worthy
of opening it. I like the wooden box.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Wolfe, Mrs Bob said to say thank you so much for the Amaryllis pics. They really help her day with what she's going through with her mom now.

Mrs. Bob is more than welcome. I'm glad this can give her at least a smile to help her through her troubles.She and your family is in my prayers, too. Here's a couple more pics. This stalk didn't bloom in the normal trumpet formation, but it's pretty in a different way. I'd like her input on what to do now that it's post-bloom, I've never had an Ameryllis before and want this one to rebloom.

Originally Posted by Lady Glock

No, thankfully...we didn't even get off the ground in Tulsa. Got a call yesterday evening that our first flight out of chicago was cancelled, made another arrangement out of chicago and got a call this morning that THAT one was cancelled. So they tried to reroute us to Atlanta for the connecting flight, but only one seat available, two necessary. Thankfully we didn't get out of the current hometown and caught in the blizzard.

Damn, at least you got stuck at home instead of at some snowbound airport. That would have sucked royally. Real glad you got your $$$ back, too.

Still crossing fingers and praying that future plans go a little smoother, my friend.

Originally Posted by sawgrass

Lady Glock it's snowing like crazy. It's cold, wet and slippery. Visibility is only
about a hundred yards. You do not want to be here. They are predicting 12-20 inches of snow over the next 24 hours and have issued a winter storm
warning. My dog is asking if she can visit SR.

I'm glad you didn't lose your money.

Hey!!!!!!! You were supposed to send Chloe over here to me!!!

Damn, that snow sounds nasty. It was 75 and sunny yesterday, 70 and dusty today. The dust sucks, but at least it wasn't cold. I'm glad it's warming up here. Knock on wood, I haven't had quite as many really painful weather related episodes this winter as last year. It's been milder weather, thank God.

Originally Posted by okie

Love you sweetheart: smootchie:: hugs:

Love you too, okie

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Oh well, mistakes were made, but if things happen for a reason I guess all of us getting to know you is reason enough.

You know whatever decision you would make about your care we would support you, right? Just don't let them knock you out of your job and then reneg on the hospital. Cause that would really, really suck.

That seems like about the only thing good coming from that happening. I would have been a lot better off being sent back Stateside 2 years ago, but it's done now....

I appreciate that. It's not actully my decision at all, Dr Arse is the one making the call there. If he's not just blowing odd steam, that is. I had to go in today to get my sleep meds for the next few nights and he started talking about how my painkiller med doses are higher than would be allowed in the States, and how I have to take way too much stuff to get even a couple hours of sleep, etc. I said "Well, that sounds like a good reason not to go back to the States. Do you think I like needing all this stuff? Don't you think I wish I didn't need the pain meds?" He started looking at the results on my MRI's and said the latest one is looking better and everything seems to be "in the right place" and healing slowly, but surely.

So I pointed out that it seemed like I was getting better here, even though it was taking longer and he admitted that I'd have been at the military hospital for quite a while too, but probably released by now. He wasn't even sure of that.

I'm damn sure not going to let him convince me to leave until he gets me admitted to a military hospital, there's yet another thread full of VA horror stories active in GNG right now.

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

Enjoy your dinner if you can Wolfe.: rofl: Just think of all the good hospital chow that may await you here in the US.: upeyes: I just hope your doctor takes all the factors into consideration when making his decision. Did your regular doctor leave any instructions about this?

Wolfe only you would think of something like this.: rofl:

Thank you very much for the offer and the continued prayers.

Did you see your shrink today? I hope he has figured out what he needs to work on with you next. How are you feeling? Are you still pretty numb or it all starting to come back again?

Glad you like that.

Hospital food, ugh. But then chow hall food isn't exactly gourmet. As for my doctor you already know that in a case like this he has to trasnfer my care over to the other doc, which means all decisions. Even though Dr. Arse is only here for a months or so he can make changes as he sees fit. He obviously can't do something like start me back on AD's or anything else shown in my record to be harmful to me.

I talked to my shrink today and he took his usual approach of asking what I wanted to talk about. At first it didn’t seem like anything real was going to come out, then we got onto the subject of Greg and why he did what he did. After a little back and forth about that I made the comment that a lot of people thought I should just accept it and be thankful, which we all know I need to. He said that was true, but brought up something else. He said the fact that I’m thinking it through and analyzing and picking it apart is a good sign, because my mind it working like it should finally. Instead of having massive guilt and other oppressive thoughts overpower me whenever I can’t keep this crap out of my head I’m facing it and dealing with it in a way that my own mind needs to. He also noticed that even though I still feel a lot of guilt the last couple sessions I’ve been talking about why GREG made the choice, not me for a change. He didn’t jump for joy this time, but he wants me to pick through the pieces in my mind until I can put them back together in a way that I can live with.

[BobInTX]

He's right. Greg made the choice to save you, not you. That's why on one of your writing exercises I asked you if you cried out for help or did anything to get Greg to help you. You said more than once that you couldn't move, breathe or anything to get anyone's attention. He made the decision and he succeeded. You lived, thank God. It hurts that he died, but he would be proud that he saved you.

That is a good change that you are questioning Greg and not yourself.

ETA: another change is that you're talking about crap in your head, but you haven't used the word "demon" in weeks. I think we finally kept their heads on those sticks.

I'm not using that word anymore. They're dead.

Hope is winning.

[BobInTX]

After-Bloom Care
After-Flowering. After the amaryllis has stopped flowering, it can be made to flower again.* Cut the old flowers from the stem after flowering, and when the stem starts to sag, cut it back to the top of the bulb.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

ETA: another change is that you're talking about crap in your head, but you haven't used the word "demon" in weeks. I think we finally kept their heads on those sticks.

I'm not using that word anymore. They're dead.

Hope is winning.

I've talked about the demons privately, but you're right in that they're not as powerful as they were in the past. Just last night I was going to ask if I could hang one in particular out the window and let you folks bash his head in once and for all. I'm tired of him whispering in my ear and want him gone. With him out of the way I think the other will curl up and die, or go find some other way to amuse themselves.

What say you, Demon Hunters International, want a piece of him?

[BobInTX]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

I've talked about the demons privately, but you're right in that they're not as powerful as they were in the past. Just last night I was going to ask if I could hang one in particular out the window and let you folks bash his head in once and for all. I'm tired of him whispering in my ear and want him gone. With him out of the way I think the other will curl up and die, or go find some other way to amuse themselves.

What say you, Demon Hunters International, want a piece of him?

He has no power over you, Wolfe. You have too many prayers and love on your side. It's not even a close contest.

[23skidoo]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

I've talked about the demons privately, but you're right in that they're not as powerful as they were in the past. Just last night I was going to ask if I could hang one in particular out the window and let you folks bash his head in once and for all. I'm tired of him whispering in my ear and want him gone. With him out of the way I think the other will curl up and die, or go find some other way to amuse themselves.

What say you, Demon Hunters International, want a piece of him?

Whenever he can spare the time Sweetheart. I feel the need to wear my Reds #5 jersey.

[sawgrass]

Lone_Wolfe demons, evil and general bs exist. The fact that you are getting better, stronger, and healthier in every way will give you the strength
to keep negativity at bay just like you did before you were shot. You have overcome a lot of disappointment in your life. You chose to be a US Soldier
the same as Greg which put you where you are. I don't believe that the fundamental characteristics that make you who you are have changed.

We all love you and know that you are going to make it. Doubt is a normal reaction at far lesser times than you are experiencing. Hang in there girl, you got this...!

I'm kinda plowed out. Got the dang tractor stuck twice. Sat in the hottub to thaw out and had a Schells Stout. August Schell is the second oldest oldest family owned brewery in the US. I have a feeling that you would
like their Stout. It's perfect for a day like we are having here. You sure as heck don't have to worry about the beer getting warm.

We love you LW and I have complete faith in you. You are not the average woman.

[Tenngunner]

Originally Posted by sawgrass

lone_wolfe

we all love you and know that you are going to make it. Doubt is a normal reaction at far lesser times than you are experiencing. Hang in there girl, you got this...!



We love you lw and i have complete faith in you. You are not the average woman.

this!

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by 23skidoo

Whenever he can spare the time Sweetheart. I feel the need to wear my Reds #5 jersey. : grouphug:

Whenever who can spare the time?

Originally Posted by BobInTX

After-Bloom Care.....

Thank you! I trimmed one stalk back and will the other as soon as it droops too. Here's hoping for a re-bloom. And here's a couple more pics of the last day in bloom.

Originally Posted by BobInTX

He's right. Greg made the choice to save you, not you. That's why on one of your writing exercises I asked you if you cried out for help or did anything to get Greg to help you. You said more than once that you couldn't move, breathe or anything to get anyone's attention. He made the decision and he succeeded. You lived, thank God. It hurts that he died, but he would be proud that he saved you.

That is a good change that you are questioning Greg and not yourself.

Hope is winning.

I still question and blame myself, sometimes worse than others, but it doesn't seem to knock me down like it did. Right now I'm alternating between questioning Greg, God, myself, and anybody who might have had any part in me being able to go get shot that day. It seems there are days I'd go through the phone book looking for people if I had one here.

I hate that he died, I've cussed him out and screamed at him more than once over that.

Originally Posted by BobInTX

He has no power over you, Wolfe. You have too many prayers and love on your side. It's not even a close contest.

He gets me to thinking what a relief that would be and all that crap, then I have to tell him to **** OFF all over again. Just recently I was talking privately to someone and mentioned that my doc said he didn't want to keep my on Xanax indefinitely, and I was asked what my doc might use instead. Without thinking about it I wrote "Maybe a 9mm". I doubt the person reading it was amused.

I just want that one gone because he has this knack for picking just the right moment to show himself. But then they all do.

Originally Posted by sawgrass

Lone_Wolfe demons, evil and general bs exist. The fact that you are getting better, stronger, and healthier in every way will give you the strength
to keep negativity at bay just like you did before you were shot. You have overcome a lot of disappointment in your life. You chose to be a US Soldier
the same as Greg which put you where you are. I don't believe that the fundamental characteristics that make you who you are have changed.

We all love you and know that you are going to make it. Doubt is a normal reaction at far lesser times than you are experiencing. Hang in there girl, you got this...!

I'm kinda plowed out. Got the dang tractor stuck twice. Sat in the hottub to thaw out and had a Schells Stout. August Schell is the second oldest oldest family owned brewery in the US. I have a feeling that you would
like their Stout. It's perfect for a day like we are having here. You sure as heck don't have to worry about the beer getting warm.

We love you LW and I have complete faith in you. You are not the average woman.

I've never tried Schells anything. sounds like I need to rectify that, don't I? In the mean time, tip one for me. We had another day of 70 degrees here, thankfully. I can walk outside without my chest hurting any more than it was inside. Now if I could just get it to quit hurting at all, but that doesn't seem to be in the cards any time soon. My terrorist made damn sure it didn't happen today.

Funny, I've always thought of myself as average. I'm average looking, average height, used to be average weight, but that's changed for the worse. Average intelligence, maybe a little above in some areas. But overall, nothing special. I don't even consider myself special for joining the Army and deploying, a lot of women do that. True, I was a lot older than most when I went back in, but that doesn't mean much.

I just can't figure out why people think I'm so specially, except maybe for the fact that I'm alive when I shouldn't be. I think that just means a lot of things happened just right and God needs my average self to do something that someone else can't do.

[23skidoo]

[QUOTE=Lone_Wolfe;16920031]Whenever who can spare the time?

That rat ******* Suicide. I really want to put his head on a pole in the sand!

[Silent_Runner]

Originally Posted by 23skidoo

That rat ******* Suicide. I really want to put his head on a pole in the sand!

I want that one too along with the one called giving up. I think Wolfe wants Nightmares gone too but he will be more difficult.

Originally Posted by BobInTX

He's right. Greg made the choice to save you, not you. That's why on one of your writing exercises I asked you if you cried out for help or did anything to get Greg to help you. You said more than once that you couldn't move, breathe or anything to get anyone's attention. He made the decision and he succeeded. You lived, thank God. It hurts that he died, but he would be proud that he saved you.

That is a good change that you are questioning Greg and not yourself.

ETA: another change is that you're talking about crap in your head, but you haven't used the word "demon" in weeks. I think we finally kept their heads on those sticks.

I'm not using that word anymore. They're dead.

Hope is winning.

BobInTX do you think Wolfe would have been to blame if she had been able to cry out for help? Do you think that would have made her any more responsible for Greg choosing to go to her aid? I realize the question does not apply here but I do wonder what you think. I believe the choice still would have been his to make no matter what she did.

Just so you know she has mentioned her demons several times to me recently but I agree that she is making great improvements.

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

I still question and blame myself, sometimes worse than others, but it doesn't seem to knock me down like it did. Right now I'm alternating between questioning Greg, God, myself, and anybody who might have had any part in me being able to go get shot that day. It seems there are days I'd go through the phone book looking for people if I had one here.

I hate that he died, I've cussed him out and screamed at him more than once over that.

I just can't figure out why people think I'm so specially, except maybe for the fact that I'm alive when I shouldn't be. I think that just means a lot of things happened just right and God needs my average self to do something that someone else can't do.

Wolfe I think that going back and forth like you talk about is quite normal and I bet your shrink agrees. You seem to be getting a lot of the crap in your head sorted out so keep working hard at it.

You may be average in many ways on the outside but what is inside of you is what makes you special. Not just anyone could have lived that day and gone on to both save a life and inspire so many others.

[BobInTX]

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

BobInTX do you think Wolfe would have been to blame if she had been able to cry out for help? Do you think that would have made her any more responsible for Greg choosing to go to her aid? I realize the question does not apply here but I do wonder what you think. I believe the choice still would have been his to make no matter what she did.

Just so you know she has mentioned her demons several times to me recently but I agree that she is making great improvements.

No, I don't believe she would have been to blame or responsible in the slightest. Crying for help is just human nature and a survival instinct. But she couldn't. My point was that she did nothing at all to encourage him or coerce him. She would have probably thought that was why he broke cover if she had been able to do that. He made the decision to go on the convoy, and he made the decision to break cover. Nobody made him do either one of those things, unless his command ordered him to go and we just don't know it.

Greg was an exceptional man. Courageous and loyal. Wolfe has said it made no sense for him to break cover when he didn't even know if she was alive. Well, if it makes no sense, then he must have seen something that led him to believe she WAS still alive. A hand movement. A twitch. An involuntary spasm.

This was a seasoned veteran, not some 18 year-old fresh out of boot camp. I believe the reason WHY he broke cover is because he thought he could do it. He thought he could pull her back to cover without getting killed himself. Why else would he do it?

I stand corrected on the demons.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by Tenngunner

this!

Originally Posted by 23skidoo

That rat ******* Suicide. I really want to put his head on a pole in the sand!

Be sure to grab Giving Up while you're at it. I'm sick of his ass too. Those 2 like to team up. Silent_Runner's right about Nightmares, but I think he'll be harder to get rid of.

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

Wolfe I think that going back and forth like you talk about is quite normal and I bet your shrink agrees. You seem to be getting a lot of the crap in your head sorted out so keep working hard at it.

You may be average in many ways on the outside but what is inside of you is what makes you special. Not just anyone could have lived that day and gone on to both save a life and inspire so many others.

Yep, my shrink does agree. He's told me several times when I felt like I was going backwards that recovery isn't a one-way trip. He's real happy with what's been happening the last few weeks, but I can tell he's waiting for me to take my usual 2 steps back after gaining a little ground. The only difference is he said the other day that I've gained more ground lately than I had in a few months combined, maybe more than in a year.

I'll just say that if I'm special then I'm in good company here. I think anyone in here would have done the same thing for Skidoo if they'd had the info they needed to do it. I just happened to be the one who had his address and pictures of his house, knew when he usually got online, etc. As for the inspiration, just look at what's being done for me even more than what I'm doing for others.

Originally Posted by BobInTX

No, I don't believe she would have been to blame or responsible in the slightest. Crying for help is just human nature and a survival instinct. But she couldn't. My point was that she did nothing at all to encourage him or coerce him. She would have probably thought that was why he broke cover if she had been able to do that. He made the decision to go on the convoy, and he made the decision to break cover. Nobody made him do either one of those things, unless his command ordered him to go and we just don't know it.

Greg was an exceptional man. Courageous and loyal. Wolfe has said it made no sense for him to break cover when he didn't even know if she was alive. Well, if it makes no sense, then he must have seen something that led him to believe she WAS still alive. A hand movement. A twitch. An involuntary spasm.

This was a seasoned veteran, not some 18 year-old fresh out of boot camp. I believe the reason WHY he broke cover is because he thought he could do it. He thought he could pull her back to cover without getting killed himself. Why else would he do it?

I stand corrected on the demons.

I know what you're saying Bob, I think I'd blame myself even more if I felt like he came out because he heard me scream or call to him. I'd wonder if he would have stayed down had I been still. But since I was still and unconscious I know the answer to that, he came out anyway.

On this subject I wonder if it wasn't that Greg saw something that made him know I was alive, but that he didn't know I was dead. Even if he didn't know if I was dead or dying I still think he was insane to run out when he did. I just don't see how he could have thought he'd have a chance under those circumstances. That's a big part of why I constantly want to ask him "What were you thinking?!?!?" I agree that he was exceptional, but at times I question his sanity. But then I've questioned mine more than once for going to Afghanistan at all.

[Silent_Runner]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

No, I don't believe she would have been to blame or responsible in the slightest. Crying for help is just human nature and a survival instinct. But she couldn't. My point was that she did nothing at all to encourage him or coerce him. She would have probably thought that was why he broke cover if she had been able to do that. He made the decision to go on the convoy, and he made the decision to break cover. Nobody made him do either one of those things, unless his command ordered him to go and we just don't know it.

Greg was an exceptional man. Courageous and loyal. Wolfe has said it made no sense for him to break cover when he didn't even know if she was alive. Well, if it makes no sense, then he must have seen something that led him to believe she WAS still alive. A hand movement. A twitch. An involuntary spasm.

This was a seasoned veteran, not some 18 year-old fresh out of boot camp. I believe the reason WHY he broke cover is because he thought he could do it. He thought he could pull her back to cover without getting killed himself. Why else would he do it?

I stand corrected on the demons.

Thank you for that. I agree that it would not have been her fault even if she had called out to him because he was still the one who made the choice whether or not to respond. But I do understand why having called out to him might have made her feel worse now. As it is the choice was made by Greg whethere or not he had any reason to believe she was alive. Perhaps Wolfe is right when she wonders if he moved simply because he was not sure she was dead. As a nurse I have to act on the premise that a patient is alive until we confirm otherwise.

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Yep, my shrink does agree. He's told me several times when I felt like I was going backwards that recovery isn't a one-way trip. He's real happy with what's been happening the last few weeks, but I can tell he's waiting for me to take my usual 2 steps back after gaining a little ground. The only difference is he said the other day that I've gained more ground lately than I had in a few months combined, maybe more than in a year.

Wolfe I have questioned your sanity for going to Afghanistan also but you already know that.

Your shrink is right about recovery taking time and not always going smoothly as you have found out so well for yourself. I wish he was more optimistic about things now. I would like to think you are past the worst of the setbacks since you have have so much progress lately but if you are not just remember we are still here for you.

[BobInTX]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Thank you! I trimmed one stalk back and will the other as soon as it droops too. Here's hoping for a re-bloom. And here's a couple more pics of the last day in bloom.




Very nice pics! Thank you.



I still question and blame myself, sometimes worse than others, but it doesn't seem to knock me down like it did. Right now I'm alternating between questioning Greg, God, myself, and anybody who might have had any part in me being able to go get shot that day. It seems there are days I'd go through the phone book looking for people if I had one here.

I hate that he died, I've cussed him out and screamed at him more than once over that.

Keep on screaming. You're working it out.



He gets me to thinking what a relief that would be and all that crap, then I have to tell him to **** OFF all over again. Just recently I was talking privately to someone and mentioned that my doc said he didn't want to keep my on Xanax indefinitely, and I was asked what my doc might use instead. Without thinking about it I wrote "Maybe a 9mm". I doubt the person reading it was amused.

I just want that one gone because he has this knack for picking just the right moment to show himself. But then they all do.

You've come too far. He's bothering you because he knows he's losing.

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Be sure to grab Giving Up while you're at it. I'm sick of his ass too. Those 2 like to team up. Silent_Runner's right about Nightmares, but I think he'll be harder to get rid of.

Giving up, Am I really going to have to come over there and put your head on a stick again?



Yep, my shrink does agree. He's told me several times when I felt like I was going backwards that recovery isn't a one-way trip. He's real happy with what's been happening the last few weeks, but I can tell he's waiting for me to take my usual 2 steps back after gaining a little ground. The only difference is he said the other day that I've gained more ground lately than I had in a few months combined, maybe more than in a year.

I know what you're saying Bob, I think I'd blame myself even more if I felt like he came out because he heard me scream or call to him. I'd wonder if he would have stayed down had I been still. But since I was still and unconscious I know the answer to that, he came out anyway.

On this subject I wonder if it wasn't that Greg saw something that made him know I was alive, but that he didn't know I was dead. Even if he didn't know if I was dead or dying I still think he was insane to run out when he did. I just don't see how he could have thought he'd have a chance under those circumstances. That's a big part of why I constantly want to ask him "What were you thinking?!?!?" I agree that he was exceptional, but at times I question his sanity. But then I've questioned mine more than once for going to Afghanistan at all.

If that was Greg on the ground shot, why would you save him? I know you don't know if you would have, but let's say you did. What are some possible reasons that you would risk your life?

[Tenngunner]

Hey LW how's it going? You know the arse doctor, the terrorist, the weather.



Getting that out of the way I hope you and Mandy are having a good evening!!!!!!!!!

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

Very nice pics! Thank you.

Thank you. Here’s one from a couple days later. As you can see this round is done, but hopefully it'll rebloom. Mrs Bob, I hope you enjoyed this round, I've already trimmed one stalk and will get the other in a day or two. How much should I water while waiting to see?


Keep on screaming. You're working it out.
I didn’t feel much like screaming today, except and my doc and terrorist. Guess it’s a good thing I didn’t seem my shrink today. I'm sure I'll make it up to you another day.

You've come too far. He's bothering you because he knows he's losing.
Trouble is, he picks just the right times to bother me and I find myself listening….

Giving up, Am I really going to have to come over there and put your head on a stick again?
I wish you would. Put it so far onto that stick no one can get it back off!

If that was Greg on the ground shot, why would you save him? I know you don't know if you would have, but let's say you did. What are some possible reasons that you would risk your life?

My brain has been shut down all evening from the meds, I can’t get a coherent thought out about this one. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Tenngunner

Hey LW how's it going? You know the arse doctor, the terrorist, the weather.



Getting that out of the way I hope you and Mandy are having a good evening!!!!!!!!! : wavey:

Dr Arse is well….. an arse. I had to see him today and while I was there I asked about the steroid injections my regular doc said I need about now. Dr Arse said he didn’t want to do anything like that, even though my regular doc had talked to him about doing it. I asked him why and he didn’t seem to have a good answer, except to say that he could see I’d had to come in with breathing and other problems quite a bit after the last injections. I agreed that was true, but pointed out that my physical therapist and doc agreed that I improved a lot for a couple of months afterward, and now I’m losing some ground in therapy. Arse grumbled some crap about me taking up too much time at the hospital, so I asked him if the real problem he had with me was that I was there a lot and he had to do some work. He didn’t care for that, but couldn’t deny it.

He finally said he didn’t approve of keeping “at risk” patients in the war zone. I asked him how much more of a risk I was than anyone else on this base, or worse, anyone that goes outside the wire. He pointed out the time I stopped breathing shortly after I got the last set of steroid injections, so I asked him what my doc’s recommendation was about that. He said the recommendation was to lower the dose by as much as half. Then he started talking about some other bad instances I had, which I pointed out were all several months or more old, and I wasn’t much more “at risk” that the guy hobbling down the hall on crutches. Maybe less, in fact, because I could get to a bunker quicker. Sure I’d be hurting afterward, I’d still be in the bunker. He finally did calm down a little and said he’d reconsider doing the steroid injections instead of making me wait a month. Then he asked what I would do if I had any trouble breathing afterward. I told him I’d come in and make him of the night doc earn their keep.

My terrorist had to let up some today, for some reason I couldn’t give any resistance to any of the pushing or pulling exercises and stretching hurt more than normal. That happens every once in a while, I just seem to be back at square one. It normally passes in a few days, but isn’t fun while it lasts. At least my terrorist recognized it right away and didn’t make me cry too much. The weather was really nice again today. Low 70’s during the day with just a little dust in the air. Mandy’s doing OK, she’s still drying out from the recent soaking I gave her and probably still plotting against me.

Originally Posted by Silent_Runner

Wolfe I have questioned your sanity for going to Afghanistan also but you already know that.

Your shrink is right about recovery taking time and not always going smoothly as you have found out so well for yourself. I wish he was more optimistic about things now. I would like to think you are past the worst of the setbacks since you have have so much progress lately but if you are not just remember we are still here for you.

Woman, you questioned my sanity long before that, don’t even try to convince anyone that was the first time!

I said something to that effect to my shrink myself, asked if he was planting a suggestion to have a setback in my head. He said he know that was always there, but he thought it was more important for me to not be blindsided when one hit after seemingly feeling better for longer than I’m used to. Normally when I go numb from a lot of crap trying to come out it’s real painful when the numbness wear off because the crap in my head just overpowers it. This time I’m still pretty numb, but when I can feel anything it’s just an empty feeling, kind of dead inside. I don’t know what to make of it, but my shrink seems happy about it, so I guess I am too.

[Glock26girl]

Wolfe, you sound so much better than I have ever heard you. Dr. Arse sounds pretty standard to me, hesitant to do anything that could put his arse on the line. I think you have been very blessed to have your regular doc. When will he be back?!? I like him so much better. He sounds like he is more of a risk taker and willing to put himself out there a bit if he thinks he can help you. As well, he is protective of you and doesn't want anybody else messing with you.

You have really jumped a huge hurdle where Greg is concerned...I hear a lot more acceptance of it being the way it is.

Let's all agree in prayer for God to bind the spirits of depression, suicide, doubt, nightmares and fear of the future and the unknown. In Jesus' name, Amen. If I missed some, post them and we can pray in agreement for those, too.

One last thought. Just because Dr. Arse says that you can't stay on xanax forever, doesn't mean that a doctor will take you off it prematurely. He really does sound like an arse to me.

[gunslinger3]

I am new to this thread LW, but just wanted to say you are in my prayers

[23skidoo]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Be sure to grab Giving Up while you're at it. I'm sick of his ass too. Those 2 like to team up. Silent_Runner's right about Nightmares, but I think he'll be harder to get rid of.

Batter Up!

[Magnus2131]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

I've talked about the demons privately, but you're right in that they're not as powerful as they were in the past. Just last night I was going to ask if I could hang one in particular out the window and let you folks bash his head in once and for all. I'm tired of him whispering in my ear and want him gone. With him out of the way I think the other will curl up and die, or go find some other way to amuse themselves.

What say you, Demon Hunters International, want a piece of him?

I'll take a piece of him. There is nothing more dangerous than a wounded animal.