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Old 09-26-2010, 22:10   #5421
OldLincoln
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Wolfe, I'm just one of the many who lurk this thread to know you are going in the right direction. I read about your guilt and think you are feeling guilty that you have the guilt. I hate to tell you but sometimes you have to learn to live with it - not embrace it - but chase it away when it pops into your head.

Mine goes back over 40 years and when the flash of pain hits I often yelp then curse the memory and it goes away until next time. I only wish the flashes would, at least once in a while, be over a fun time or doing good for others. But they selectively pick the bad stuff and blow them up in front of my eyes.

After all this time I know I can't change what happened and can't stop the pain, so I've learned to live with them like the arthritis that hurts occasionally to remind me I'm getting old. Fight it with all the help you can get, but know someday you will accept it for what it is and let go.

I feel a kinship with you and am so sorry you have to deal with this. But as you already know, you have an army at your side. Others have made it and so will you.

Last edited by OldLincoln; 09-26-2010 at 22:11..
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Old 09-27-2010, 00:09   #5422
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Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
I would enjoy that Okie...we just need to get LW to come to our area so we can treat her!
It would be so awesome to meet LW for sure LG
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Old 09-27-2010, 00:11   #5423
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I changed what you said to reflect the part I think is the most important by far. No one has to treat me to anything, except maybe a gentle hug, but I;d like to meet so many of you.
I do hope we get to meet one day sweetheart
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Old 09-27-2010, 00:14   #5424
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Hey baby

Wanna come over and rub bellies


















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Old 09-27-2010, 07:52   #5425
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I'm sure there's more important things than good whiskey, I just don't
know what they are.[/QUOTE]
Cigars for starters, good ones from Cuba, or the Canary Islands. (Bolivar has a factory in the Canary Islands and I've read the ones made there are better than those coming out of Cuba.) No ma'am I haven't tried one to test the theory, I have given up The Noxious Weed for a certain lady. Oh yeah,homemade cheesecake, brownies, buttermilk corn bread, BBQ pulled pork, sweet tea, a big honkin' NY strip grilled to medium, walleye filets, damn. I'm hungry! Take care ma'am.
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Old 09-27-2010, 08:43   #5426
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Do you have rattle snakes on your property?
I HAVE to look up MN/TX reciprocity laws and see what I need.
No rattlesnakes so far. We had a water snake in our back yard about a year ago. He wasn't a water moccasin though. There are snakes in the lake.

sawgrass, if you don't have a gun with you, they give you one at the border. J/K
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Old 09-27-2010, 08:59   #5427
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Do you have rattle snakes on your property?
I HAVE to look up MN/TX reciprocity laws and see what I need.

I'm sure there's more important things than good whiskey, I just don't
know what they are.
You need PAs non resident...get it soon, they are changing their rules to get it.
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Old 09-27-2010, 13:40   #5428
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass
I'm sure there's more important things than good whiskey, I just don't
know what they are.
Cigars for starters, good ones from Cuba, or the Canary Islands. (Bolivar has a factory in the Canary Islands and I've read the ones made there are better than those coming out of Cuba.) No ma'am I haven't tried one to test the theory, I have given up The Noxious Weed for a certain lady. Oh yeah,homemade cheesecake, brownies, buttermilk corn bread, BBQ pulled pork, sweet tea, a big honkin' NY strip grilled to medium, walleye filets, damn. I'm hungry! Take care ma'am.
You're better off without cigars for your own health, too. And dangit! You're making me hungry too!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Geeorge View Post
Hey baby: whistling:

Wanna come over and rub bellies



Whose bellies? Yours or thiers?
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Old 09-27-2010, 16:38   #5429
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You're better off without cigars for your own health, too. And dangit! You're making me hungry too!




Soon we will take our meals together and we'll have to mind our own 'Battle of the Bulge'. Splenda instead of sugar, easy on the salt, and watch those calories! We can walk hand in hand to exercise. I look forward to that more than any meal or beverage.
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Old 09-27-2010, 18:48   #5430
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That is a given...Lone_Wolfe. My frustration is not understanding how to approach or figure out what to do for you. When I think about everything that you are dealing with and the medications involved I find myself pondering the chicken or the egg.

I can assure you there is always ice cream and good whiskey in this house
though. Don't forget yours is the blue room.
I can sure understand your frustration, because I share it. So many times I don't even know what I want or need. Or I think I know, and turn out to be wrong. Somehow you people in here have a much better average than I do in knowing what I need. Some might say it's because there's several of you posting in here that someone's bound to get it right, but I think your hands are being guided.

Ice cream and whiskey.... Hmmmmmmm, sounds good. Pour a shot over some rich vanilla ice cream, wouldya?

I came in here earlier, and just couldn't get myself to talk at all, so I made a quick post so you folks would know I'm at least still among you, and I took my meds and layed down to sleep. That only lasted a couple hours, so here I am again. Now at least I feel like talking a little.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
Soon we will take our meals together and we'll have to mind our own 'Battle of the Bulge'. Splenda instead of sugar, easy on the salt, and watch those calories! We can walk hand in hand to exercise. I look forward to that more than any meal or beverage.
Don't you even try to take away my beer!

hahahahaha, I'm looking forward to being able to walk somewhere and not have to know where the nearest bunker is.



Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
I do hope we get to meet one day sweetheart: smootchie:: hugs:
I plan on it.



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Originally Posted by OldLincoln View Post
Wolfe, I'm just one of the many who lurk this thread to know you are going in the right direction. I read about your guilt and think you are feeling guilty that you have the guilt. I hate to tell you but sometimes you have to learn to live with it - not embrace it - but chase it away when it pops into your head.

Mine goes back over 40 years and when the flash of pain hits I often yelp then curse the memory and it goes away until next time. I only wish the flashes would, at least once in a while, be over a fun time or doing good for others. But they selectively pick the bad stuff and blow them up in front of my eyes.

After all this time I know I can't change what happened and can't stop the pain, so I've learned to live with them like the arthritis that hurts occasionally to remind me I'm getting old. Fight it with all the help you can get, but know someday you will accept it for what it is and let go.

I feel a kinship with you and am so sorry you have to deal with this. But as you already know, you have an army at your side. Others have made it and so will you.
Hi OldLincoln. I think there may be some merit to what you're saying here, and I never thought of it that way. Neither did my shrink, or at least he hasn't said that to me. But then he doesn't always say things like that to me, he lets me think of it myself with maybe some prodding.

I hate that you still have to deal with it after 40 years. I guess our minds can't flash the good memories in front of us because what would that accomplish? I think if it fades to just an occasional flash I could live with it, but that'll take time. I have the Army here and the GT Army beside me, and I think the GT Army is more powerful in some ways. Thank you for posting.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
Maybe your wish to get rid of them completely keeps you from just learning to make it bearable. Like you said, the people that have been through it say it never completely goes away. I have faith in your strength.
Ok, I'll shut up now. Really reaching right now and probable the last person to listen to.: embarassed:
I'm thinking you have a point. My head can get the idea that I didn't cause it, but my heart can't, so maybe I should look at it differently. Just don't tell Brown Hawk. How I wish I could take what him and Bob and others have said and make myself believe it completely, but it's hard.

And don't shut up. I value your input very much.



Quote:
Originally Posted by fmfdocglock View Post
Hi Lone Wolfe,

I tend to lurk on your thread as opposed to post. I suspect there are a few of us "lurkers" who check up on you now and then and send that positive energy over to you.

May I ask when you were wounded?

I only ask based on my comments to you a while back about how long it took vets from my era to recover versus their expectations.

Hopefully you don't think I'm too much of a pervert for reading your thread.
No, haha, I don't think you're a pervert for reading this thread. I think you're another friend who cares. Your prayers and positive vibes help too, never underestimate that. As to when I was injured, it was the end of 2008. Almost 2 years ago. Sometimes it seems like it happened yesterday, other times I think it happened a lifetime ago. In a way it did happen a lifetime ago.
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Old 09-28-2010, 01:29   #5431
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Hope you have a good day. Had to get my hug for the night.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 09-28-2010, 06:16   #5432
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Whose bellies? Yours or thiers?
You can start with their's and then we can rub ours together
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Old 09-28-2010, 06:38   #5433
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Don't you even try to take away my beer!

hahahahaha, I'm looking forward to being able to walk somewhere and not have to know where the nearest bunker is.

























Yes ma'am! I mean no ma'am! <<<<<holds arms out for a gentle hug. Take care Sweetheart.
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Old 09-28-2010, 08:34   #5434
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Wolfe, are you sleeping yet? Any word or action from your Doc?
I catch myself thinking about your visits to the US. I know this
one was short, and naturally took its toll. I was also thinking about
when anyone becomes tired or stressed, and there is a psychical weakness,
it shows itself there.

I made an apple pie. The first of the season. I tried something new.
I mixed butter, cinnamon and brandy together with a little sugar. I poured
it over the apples before putting them in the crust. Served warm with a
lump of vanilla ice cream. Not bad. Too bad there isn't a way to mail a pie.
I would send you one. Skidoo's post yesterday morning made me hungry too!


Bob, my uncle said he has killed seven rattle snakes, and that their neighbor
had one on the porch. As hard as winter can be, it keeps the snakes away!
I truely appreciate being in the woods and not having to even consider getting snake bit.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:33   #5435
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Quote:
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Bob, my uncle said he has killed seven rattle snakes, and that their neighbor
had one on the porch. As hard as winter can be, it keeps the snakes away!
I truely appreciate being in the woods and not having to even consider getting snake bit.
Your uncle lives in the country. Not much woods out there, except for what we call cedars around here. You won't like the terrain. Not very pretty.There are some "mountains" out there, with windmills on top. We have the largest windmill farm in the world west of where he lives. http://www.metaefficient.com/renewab...se-hollow.html We have great sunsets, though.

I live in the city. I never saw any snakes where I used to live. We only have snakes where we live now because we live on a lake inside town. We have cats that come in our back yard, and I think that helps keep them away.

In the town 40 miles west of here they have an annual rattlesnake roundup. They bring in hundreds of snakes every year to the coliseum, and they milk them for antidote and other medicinal purposes. Then they cut their heads off and skin them. Some of them they cook. We went one time. The smell was awful. Our kids were fascinated with them cutting off the heads and skinning them. After their heads were cut off, they would still open and close their mouths for several minutes. We never ate any. I found out in a seminar at the hospital where my wife worked, given by the doctor on "Venom ER" on Animal Planet http://lomalindahealth.org/medical-c...-er/index.page , that if you eat rattlesnake meat it will make you have a more serious reaction if you get bit. Don't worry about them killing off all of the rattlesnakes. They find plenty every year.

Sounds like you might not want to stay at your uncle's house when you visit. The snakes really aren't just everywhere, though. When we go dog training I have yet to see a snake of any type, and we go into the woods a lot. You just don't step over logs or start digging in rock piles, and you watch your step. It just becomes a habit.

The nicest people in the world live here. Our state motto is "friendship".

Just don't come in July or August. Lone_Wolfe could. She'd feel like she was in a cold front.
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Old 09-28-2010, 16:43   #5436
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Quote:
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Wolfe, are you sleeping yet? Any word or action from your Doc?
I catch myself thinking about your visits to the US. I know this
one was short, and naturally took its toll. I was also thinking about
when anyone becomes tired or stressed, and there is a psychical weakness,
it shows itself there.

I made an apple pie. The first of the season. I tried something new.
I mixed butter, cinnamon and brandy together with a little sugar. I poured
it over the apples before putting them in the crust. Served warm with a
lump of vanilla ice cream. Not bad. Too bad there isn't a way to mail a pie.
I would send you one. Skidoo's post yesterday morning made me hungry too!: hugs:: hugs:
.
Sleeping yet, not worth a damn. My doc is waiting a couple days to change out my meds because I got kind of sick yesterday and he thinks it may have been caused by a new pain med he had me try. He wants to make sure that doesn't have any effect. You're right about the travelling taking it's toll and the physical weakness showing itself. I'm still feeling the effects of all the travel, but it's letting off some.

That pie is making me want to get back on a plane, but you'll have to have plenty of that brandy around to help out the pain meds if I do.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Geeorge View Post
You can start with their's and then we can rub ours together: whistling:
Now this could get interesting....



Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
Hope you have a good day. Had to get my hug for the night.
Here you go, my friend.



Quote:
Originally Posted by 23skidoo View Post
Yes ma'am! I mean no ma'am! <<<<<holds arms out for a gentle hug. Take care Sweetheart.

May you find the sleep of the just, no demons are allowed there. You'll be safe and the demons will be It's time for them to sweat for a change. Give them to us so we can go to work on them. I wish it were that easy Sweetheart. I wish I could be there to hold your hand and let you know it's going to get better. Look at how far you've come in the last couple of months. You are going to know peace again. You are going to reclaim your life. The demons will lose their power over you.You are going to win.: hugs:: smootchie:: iloveyou:
You'd better get in gear doing your therapy if you plan to hold both arms out! But I'm glad you know not to take my beer away....

Here's hoping I get some sleep tonight, sleep of the just would be real nice. You guys are welcome to have at these demons. I wish I could put them in a box and mail them somewhere far away. I'd take you or anyone in here holding my hand just to let me know you're there. I've spent most of the evening just laying down hoping my chest would stop *****ing.

I'll kick those demons out of here eventually, it's just taking so long that the fight is wearing me out.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 09-28-2010, 23:54   #5437
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Nah, it's the trip that wore you out. The demons are just gloating about it and probably telling you that it wasn't worth it.

We're always there with you and praying for you. Don't ever forget that.

You've got to quit living in the past. You need to get beyond this and live for tomorrow, not two years ago. You've got to forgive yourself and let it go. The past is done. You can't change it, you can't get un-shot, and you certainly can't bring Greg back, no matter how bad you want to. That's easy for me to say, I know, but it's the truth. You've suffered long enough. Don't be Lone_Wolfe the victim. Be Lone_Wolfe the Warrior. The Lone_Wolfe we all know is still there. We don't admire you because you got shot. We admire you because of the way you fight to live. You won't give up. It's not in you. Those demons don't stand a chance. Read Judges 4 in the Bible. You can read it online. Two examples of strong women that are like you. You need to take a tent stake to those demons.

You've got a lot of living to do. Start now.
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Old 09-29-2010, 00:12   #5438
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Quote:
Don't be Lone_Wolfe the victim. Be Lone_Wolfe the Warrior.
I'm all for that. My angel soldier.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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Old 09-29-2010, 10:57   #5439
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Nah, it's the trip that wore you out. The demons are just gloating about it and probably telling you that it wasn't worth it.

We're always there with you and praying for you. Don't ever forget that.

You've got to quit living in the past. You need to get beyond this and live for tomorrow, not two years ago. You've got to forgive yourself and let it go. The past is done. You can't change it, you can't get un-shot, and you certainly can't bring Greg back, no matter how bad you want to. That's easy for me to say, I know, but it's the truth. You've suffered long enough. Don't be Lone_Wolfe the victim. Be Lone_Wolfe the Warrior. The Lone_Wolfe we all know is still there. We don't admire you because you got shot. We admire you because of the way you fight to live. You won't give up. It's not in you. Those demons don't stand a chance. Read Judges 4 in the Bible. You can read it online. Two examples of strong women that are like you. You need to take a tent stake to those demons.

You've got a lot of living to do. Start now.
Wolfe it seems that I'm not the only person who see what you are really like. Even when you were down and felt totally beated you never gave up. You have gotten through the worst of this because you kept fighting even when the odds seemed impossible. You are going to win this battle and we are going to help you for as long as you need us.

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Sleeping yet, not worth a damn. My doc is waiting a couple days to change out my meds because I got kind of sick yesterday and he thinks it may have been caused by a new pain med he had me try. He wants to make sure that doesn't have any effect. You're right about the travelling taking it's toll and the physical weakness showing itself. I'm still feeling the effects of all the travel, but it's letting off some.

I'll kick those demons out of here eventually, it's just taking so long that the fight is wearing me out.
It may be taking a long time but you are wearing them down a little at a time. From the things I have heard you say in recent weeks I think we have one of those demon heads on a stick and we can move on to another. Suicide was a good first one to be rid of. Who should we go after next? Would Giving Up be a good candidate?

Quote:
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You can start with their's and then we can rub ours together
You are making me jealous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I can sure understand your frustration, because I share it. So many times I don't even know what I want or need. Or I think I know, and turn out to be wrong. Somehow you people in here have a much better average than I do in knowing what I need. Some might say it's because there's several of you posting in here that someone's bound to get it right, but I think your hands are being guided.
.
I would be inclined to agree with you on this because God has a tendency to give us what we need instead of what we want or think we need.
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I mean, Iím mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
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Old 09-29-2010, 12:29   #5440
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Wolfe it seems that I'm not the only person who see what you are really like. Even when you were down and felt totally beated you never gave up. You have gotten through the worst of this because you kept fighting even when the odds seemed impossible. You are going to win this battle and we are going to help you for as long as you need us.


It may be taking a long time but you are wearing them down a little at a time. From the things I have heard you say in recent weeks I think we have one of those demon heads on a stick and we can move on to another. Suicide was a good first one to be rid of. Who should we go after next? Would Giving Up be a good candidate?


I would be inclined to agree with you on this because God has a tendency to give us what we need instead of what we want or think we need.
Giving Up is the one we took out. With him gone Suicide is impotent.




24For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has?

25But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

26In the same way, the [Holy] Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.

Romans 8:24-27 (New International Version)
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Nov 11, 2013 at 16:42