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Old 09-25-2010, 06:29   #5401
okie
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Love you sweetheart
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Old 09-25-2010, 08:12   #5402
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
I'm in a bad mood and feeling kinda cranky so I hope this comes out right.

I saw the Mother of the 19 year old tonight. She received a call that he
wasn't feeling good and had a runny nose. He was dead within two hours.
He died of complications from MD. She is dealing with guilt.

The young man who hung himself was the bf of a young woman I have mentored a few times through a few things. She is the daughter of a close
male friend of mine. Guess what? Yep more guilt.

This has me thinking about your guilt. I'm going to restate my feelings regarding guilt.

Guilt over an act that was not intentional is an absolutely useless emotion.
It causes one physical and emotional harm. It retards one's soul.

So, whether or not you could have prevented what happened by not
working at changing the plan doesn't really matter Wolfe. What's done is
done. You would do anything you could to go back. You can't. If you don't
find a way to let this **** go, you aren't going to heal. You need the energy
you are wasting on guilt for your mind and your body. Feeling guilty isn't
helping anyone. It isn't helping you, it certainly isn't helping Greg, and it
isn't helping anyone who cares about you. You have to put it in it's place.
Every minute you waste on feeling guilty over something you can't correct
only takes energy that is needed elsewhere.

LW you know I hold you in the highest regard. The only tool I have to let
things go, I mailed to WV. If you need another copy tell me and I'll send it.
You cannot remain your own worst enemy.
Makes me think of ...

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
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Old 09-25-2010, 17:33   #5403
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
Makes me think of ...

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Yep, I'm familiar with this one, too. It fits well. I really try to run the guilt off and tell it to stay away, but it just comes back the instant I let my guard down. I know many of you in here are helping me try to get through my head and heart that I should have no guilt at all, and I wish I could feel that way. I've gotten PM's from people who have been there themselves, but don't post in here and the one thing they all say is "It never completely goes away, it just gets bearable". I'd rather get rid of it completely, but I'll settle for bearable.

The same goes for the pain in my chest, and the nightmares.



Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
Love you sweetheart: hearts:: hugs:




Quote:
Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
: hugs:
back, my friend.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
How you doing today?


Quote:
Originally Posted by MB-G26 View Post
Not me and not anyone known to me. To use one of my silly personal, well-worn phrases: Giving up on LW is not a happening thing! Nope, uhn-uh, nada, no way, not happening.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LW & Everybody, too }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I haven't given up either, although I've sure wanted to at times. I figure if I've come this far I may as well keep going. Besides, if I don't, some of you might put MY head on a stick!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock26girl View Post
Wolfe, I want you to know that even though I don't post all the time, I am in here keeping up with what is going on in your life and praying for you...and everyone else who is having a tough time. You are all such caring people. I'm sorry about the boys, Sawgrass and am praying for their families. Sometimes, that is all I can do, is pray.
You are such a strong girl, LW. You have maintained your sense of humor through all of this and you are so funny!! I enjoy reading your banter with everyone. It is cool how you are naming and standing up to your demons. It is exactly what you are supposed to do. In Jesus's name, they must flee. And, everytime you out them, you show them who's boss!! And it's not them!! I love Skidoo's attitude, he is such a strong, capable guy and cares so much about your well-being. I just want to remind you that I love you and that your room is waiting for you, whenever you can come stay with us.
Ahhhhh, that waiting room. That just sounds so relaxing, I think I'd love being there. The prayers are appreciated and seem to be helping, too. I keep you in my prayers too, because of your health problems.

I saw my doc and my physical terrorist today, and met with my shrink to let him know I was back. I'll see him tomorrow. I told my doc about how the meds were only working for a few hours and I'd retaken them several times to get more sleep. He didn't like it, but he's glad I slept at least some of the time I was gone. He said now that I'm back nad he has the time he's going to tweak the meds some more. He didn't say whether or not that'll involve being monitored while I sleep or not.

My physical terrorist said I lost some ground, as he expected, but I didn't lose as much as he was afraid I might. He started back today kind of gently, but warned me not to get used to that. I told him it's nice while it lasts, but I understand I need the more aggressive therapy. He said he wished more patients said that sort of thing.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 09-25-2010, 18:43   #5404
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Work hard, Wolfe. We've got your back.
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Old 09-25-2010, 22:45   #5405
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LW honey I wish you was here tonight, I would share a bowl of Moosetracks ice cream with you
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Old 09-26-2010, 02:18   #5406
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
LW honey I wish you was here tonight, I would share a bowl of Moosetracks ice cream with you
Hey okie! Why didn't you make this offer 2 weeks ago, I would have made sure to take you up on it!

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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 09-26-2010, 02:23   #5407
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Hey okie! Why didn't you make this offer 2 weeks ago, I would have made sure to take you up on it!

Ice cream eh?
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
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Old 09-26-2010, 07:54   #5408
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Hey okie! Why didn't you make this offer 2 weeks ago, I would have made sure to take you up on it!

If you get close enough to have icecream with Okie let me know...I'll take you out for dinner...your choice. There's a red lobster not too far...or there are some good steak houses even closer!
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Old 09-26-2010, 08:32   #5409
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Wolfe I woke up this morning thinking about you. The magnitude of what
you are dealing with confounds me. The physical trauma, the emotional
trauma, the medication reactions, the bodies expected reaction to the medications, survivor's guilt and your guilt regarding your actions while trying to complete your mission.

Bob and Brown Hawk have done a good job of trouncing all over the guilt,
but it's still an issue. What can we do? What do you need from us?
You know we are all here, ready, and willing.
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Old 09-26-2010, 10:12   #5410
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Wolfe I woke up this morning thinking about you. The magnitude of what
you are dealing with confounds me. The physical trauma, the emotional
trauma, the medication reactions, the bodies expected reaction to the medications, survivor's guilt and your guilt regarding your actions while trying to complete your mission.

Bob and Brown Hawk have done a good job of trouncing all over the guilt,
but it's still an issue. What can we do? What do you need from us?
You know we are all here, ready, and willing.
Wolfe do we need to keep on trouncing your guilt until it gets all the way through to you? Does it help to just know that we are here for you and care about you? sawgrass is right. Tell us what you need.

Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
LW honey I wish you was here tonight, I would share a bowl of Moosetracks ice cream with you
Yummmm. I'm on my way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Yep, I'm familiar with this one, too. It fits well. I really try to run the guilt off and tell it to stay away, but it just comes back the instant I let my guard down. I know many of you in here are helping me try to get through my head and heart that I should have no guilt at all, and I wish I could feel that way. I've gotten PM's from people who have been there themselves, but don't post in here and the one thing they all say is "It never completely goes away, it just gets bearable". I'd rather get rid of it completely, but I'll settle for bearable.

My physical terrorist said I lost some ground, as he expected, but I didn't lose as much as he was afraid I might. He started back today kind of gently, but warned me not to get used to that. I told him it's nice while it lasts, but I understand I need the more aggressive therapy. He said he wished more patients said that sort of thing.
I know that getting your guilt and pain down to bearable levels will be an improvement but we all want to see you do even better than that. We want to see you rid yourself of unearned guilt completely. You keep working toward that goal and let your doctor and therapist work toward that same goal for your chest.

I'm glad that you didn't lose as much ground as your terrorist thought you might. I hope you can regain it quickly and keep progressing. Just keep up the good attitude about it and do what he wants you to do.
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In real life I'm an *** hole with a gun. :supergrin:
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I mean, I’m mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
Rest in Peace Jeff Abshire-1962-2012-aka 23Skidoo
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Old 09-26-2010, 13:58   #5411
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
Ice cream eh?
Actually the offer of ice cream isn't required, a would do just fine.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
If you get close enough to have icecream with Okie let me know...I'll take you out for dinner...your choice. There's a red lobster not too far...or there are some good steak houses even closer!
I'd be honored to break bread with you and so many others in here, and I'd happily buy the dinner and beer.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 09-26-2010, 14:11   #5412
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Hey okie! Why didn't you make this offer 2 weeks ago, I would have made sure to take you up on it!

I did't have any Moosetracks in the house then sweetheart
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Old 09-26-2010, 15:27   #5413
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Actually the offer of ice cream isn't required, a would do just fine.





I'd be honored to break bread with you and so many others in here, and I'd happily buy the dinner and beer.
I would enjoy that Okie...we just need to get LW to come to our area so we can treat her!
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Old 09-26-2010, 17:26   #5414
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
I would enjoy that Okie...we just need to get LW to come to our area so we can MEET her!
I changed what you said to reflect the part I think is the most important by far. No one has to treat me to anything, except maybe a gentle hug, but I;d like to meet so many of you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
I did't have any Moosetracks in the house then sweetheart:kiss :
Oh well, I didn't have near enough time to get over your way anyway. I'll have to meet you some time later. I'd like to drive around the country someday and meet a bunch of you.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Silent_Runner View Post
I'm glad that you didn't lose as much ground as your terrorist thought you might. I hope you can regain it quickly and keep progressing. Just keep up the good attitude about it and do what he wants you to do.
My terrorist went easy to start back up yesterday, but he sure made up for it today. Owwwwwwwwwww, damn! That hurts! This had better be doing me some good!



Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Wolfe I woke up this morning thinking about you. The magnitude of what
you are dealing with confounds me. The physical trauma, the emotional
trauma, the medication reactions, the bodies expected reaction to the medications, survivor's guilt and your guilt regarding your actions while trying to complete your mission.

Bob and Brown Hawk have done a good job of trouncing all over the guilt,
but it's still an issue. What can we do? What do you need from us?
You know we are all here, ready, and willing.
That's a good question, and I don't have an easy answer. It seems that what I think I need changes depending on a lot of things. Some days I come in here and just want to read something encouraging, other times I want someone to listen to and answer to something I wrote previously, other times I just don't know. A lot of times I think I need one thing and when I read something different I think maybe that was what I needed after all. I remember one time I was all pissed off about something to do with my work and I clicked on this thread hoping maybe someone had posted something funny and instead I found one of the many posts that had me just sitting there with tears rolling down my face from being touched so much by what the person said. I wouldn't have thought that was what I needed, but it really got through to me.

I think the most important thing I need is your friendship.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Work hard, Wolfe. We've got your back.
Thanks, I'm doing just that. Thankfully my doc gave me some extra pain meds the last couple days, because my terrorist made me earn then today. My shrink started back in on me today too.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 signatures.

RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 09-26-2010, 18:48   #5415
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post

I think the most important thing I need is your friendship.
That is a given...Lone_Wolfe. My frustration is not understanding how to approach or figure out what to do for you. When I think about everything
that you are dealing with and the medications involved I find myself pondering the chicken or the egg.

I can assure you there is always ice cream and good whiskey in this house
though. Don't forget yours is the blue room.
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Old 09-26-2010, 20:15   #5416
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How long

Hi Lone Wolfe,

I tend to lurk on your thread as opposed to post. I suspect there are a few of us "lurkers" who check up on you now and then and send that positive energy over to you.

May I ask when you were wounded?

I only ask based on my comments to you a while back about how long it took vets from my era to recover versus their expectations.

Hopefully you don't think I'm too much of a pervert for reading your thread.

Last edited by fmfdocglock; 09-26-2010 at 20:36..
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Old 09-26-2010, 20:18   #5417
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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
That is a given...Lone_Wolfe. My frustration is not understanding how to approach or figure out what to do for you. When I think about everything
that you are dealing with and the medications involved I find myself pondering the chicken or the egg.

I can assure you there is always ice cream and good whiskey in this house
though. Don't forget yours is the blue room.
Hey, I have a blue guest room, too. And mine has a Tempurpedic mattress.

You got me beat on the whiskey, though
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Old 09-26-2010, 20:37   #5418
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Take care Sweetheartand may you find the sleep of the just, no demons are allowed there. You'll be safe and the demons will be It's time for them to sweat for a change. Give them to us so we can go to work on them. I wish it were that easy Sweetheart. I wish I could be there to hold your hand and let you know it's going to get better. Look at how far you've come in the last couple of months. You are going to know peace again. You are going to reclaim your life. The demons will lose their power over you.You are going to win.
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Old 09-26-2010, 20:57   #5419
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Hey, I have a blue guest room, too. And mine has a Tempurpedic mattress.

You got me beat on the whiskey, though

Do you have rattle snakes on your property?
I HAVE to look up MN/TX reciprocity laws and see what I need.

I'm sure there's more important things than good whiskey, I just don't
know what they are.
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Old 09-26-2010, 21:38   #5420
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Humm, I'll take Bob's Tempurpedic mattress and Sawgrass's whiskey. Just PM me for the shipping address. I have nothing for LW except
Quote:
I'd rather get rid of it completely, but I'll settle for bearable.
Maybe your wish to get rid of them completely keeps you from just learning to make it bearable. Like you said, the people that have been through it say it never completely goes away. I have faith in your strength.
Ok, I'll shut up now. Really reaching right now and probable the last person to listen to.
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LW would have laughed that round off her chest.
Quote:
And then gone and stuffed the gun up the ass of the Hajji bastard that shot me!
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