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Old 01-13-2010, 16:46   #2301
Buki192327
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Hi sweetie!!!!

Keep fighting the good fight. You have the ability to over come these demons. It is a real shame, that the docs, made things worse for you, by putting you on some of the meds, they did.

We are here for you now, and will be here for you in the future. We all want you to make a complete recovery. Anything we can do to help, we want to do.

Take care of yourself.

and prayers for you.
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Old 01-13-2010, 17:41   #2302
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
About the same as I have been. How's the family and little Shelby?......
We're doing ok. Sucks to hear of the recent troubles,....
When are you headed to sunny Florida?

Here's an ATTACK pic for ya!

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Old 01-13-2010, 17:46   #2303
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< Marylin the illegal cat >
uuugghhh! Early morning sunlight in the face!



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Old 01-14-2010, 01:00   #2304
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Quote:
Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
We're doing ok. Sucks to hear of the recent troubles,....
When are you headed to sunny Florida?

Here's an ATTACK pic for ya!
Love that kitty! I WISH I was headed your way. Unfortunately I'm getting a couple day in AZ before I outprocess at Benning.

I wish I could put all this crap behind me too. Just feels like I'm slipping back down they way I came at the moment.



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Originally Posted by engineer151515 View Post
< Marylin the illegal cat >
uuugghhh! Early morning sunlight in the face!

Ahhhh, Marylin the Beautiful....

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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 01-14-2010, 08:32   #2305
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
..


I just feel like Iíll be under that wall if it ever does come down.

Iíve always preferred to do like Adam does. My Mom wanted to drive her gold cart last June. I couldnít because of my chest, but did want to tell her that. So I started to drive it down the middle of the road. All of a sudden she decided to drive it after all. Ut if you want to talk about weird reaction, watch what I do when someone walks out from behind something like a T-wall or building in front of me. Thatís when I get flaky. Well, thatís not the only time.

I wish I could get a different shrink and keep the same doc. I still donít like or trust my shrink, even though sheís smart. I think you don't like or trust your shrink at least partially becasue she is pushing you places where you don't want to go. But you do need to go there if you want to heal. Itís worth it to keep this doc though. And of course itís worth coming back here to stay off disability, at least for a while. Iím hoping I can get at least close to healed where I can work some job back in the states. Right now no one would hire me because I canít do **** or pass a physical. Not to mention a piss test.





OK, whatís happening physicallyÖ What low level of pain? Do you mean the high level of pain thatís there all the time, has been there since the start, but isnít as bad as it was a year ago, or even 6 months ago, and keeps me on strong meds 24/7, plus makes me keep even more pills handy for when it flares up worse? Of course itís wearing on me emotionally and Iím aware of it. Iím tempted to show you some snips from some emails I sent to a friend several months ago saying exactly that. Now if thereís any ache below my threshold level itís damn sure not in my chest, because Iím very well aware of that pain every waking moment. Maybe itís my kneeÖ Generally, damaged tissue like yours can take a longer time to adjust to cooler weather than most people realize. What I meant was that the weather is causing just enough more discomfort to wear on you more than when it was warmer, but not really noticable by you because of the high level you've already got. It's a trend I've noticed in your posts, and I think a part of what you consider going backwards. That plus just more bad weather days at this time of the year is just wearing on you and making you feel that you are going backwards. I see progress from your posts, even if you are a little more scratchy.

I still donít tell my shrink everything, I talk to her because I have to. I donít tell everything in here anymore either, but thatís because you get pissed sometime. I never get pissed at you, and if you think so, I apologize. I will not let you get away with BS, nor with you denigrating yourself. With her I just am not comfortable with her, See comment above. but sheís the only one I got so I have to deal with it. Iím not paying her so I canít really complain about the service. That may be the case about why I feel worse. Some of it is ďDamn, itís been over a year, is this crap ever going to end?!?Ē And you wonder why I wish Iíd just died over there. It damn sure would have been easier.

I'll deal with the rest later, I'm late for my knock-out.
It's been a year, and it's been a tough year, over which you have made some great progress. You also have some bad days that are really rough, and some good days that are only bad.

As opposed to that, you have a lot of people who love and care for you, and most of them you will never meet. You have people like Zonny and others, who send you things they think might help. You have people who have shared their own pain to help you both physically and mentally, to show you that you are not alone in what you are going through. You have a cookie-stealing cat that is willing to get a bath twice a day just to help you when you most need it. You even have a physical terrorist, a psycho terrorist, and an internet terrorist, all willing to poke at sore points so that you can hate them and get better.

You've had a tough year. You've had tough years before, and wondered when the pain and agony would end. You crawled through those years, sometimes on your belly, sometimes on your knees, and sometimes you just staggered. But you got through them. We've all had times like that.

You've had a tough year. You've been carried, petted, cuddled, encouraged, prayed for, loved on. Given the gift of love, given the gift of friendship, given the gift of open hearts, given the gift of knowledge of other's pain, given the gift of open handed sharing, given the gift of shared faith, given the gift of staying up all night to help you get through the night. You've even been given the gift that you've waited for all your life, when your mother told you she loved you and was proud of you.

You've had a tough year, one that no one would volunteer to go through.

You've had a tough year. Maybe one of the best years of your life. What do you think?

Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you as you sleep,

Hawk
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Old 01-14-2010, 11:14   #2306
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Hawk, the above post is incredible.

LW, is Hawk single?

Brown Hawk, they don't grow men like you where I came from.


Quote:
Iím not paying her so I canít really complain about the service.
Wolfe, this is what my Granny would say about the care you receive,
and this whole VA thing.

"Well, that's just beats a hen a rootin'."

You paid her. You came within a gnat's rear end of paying with your life.
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Old 01-14-2010, 15:02   #2307
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
1. Ignore it for now.
I had typed up part of my responses to these last night but was out of time. then I accidently deleted them, which if probably a good thing.
I was in such a crappy mood I wrote that Greg's answer in question 4 would probably be "Up yours". Brown Hark would have ripped my face off, I think.

So I'll start again...

1. OK, but if it's any consolation Silent_Runner couldn't clarify what she was asking either. Although you saying "for now" makes me wonder.....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
2. If he was good people, why wouldn't he feel the same way? And here you are saying that it would have been your choice to try the rescue, but you keep saying that it was you who forced him to try to rescue you. Doesn't make a lot of sense.
2. Ummmmmmm, I never forced him to do anything. I made a choice that led to him being in a position to make that decision.


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Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
3. Bingo! You're not happy he died, but you refuse to be happy or even content that you've been saved. Part of that is the pain, and part is the drug reaction, but part of it is your refusal to accept the gift he gave you, because living is hard right now.
3. I'm not refusing anything. I don't want to feel like I do, I said that before. If I could wave a wand and feel better about things I would, but how can anyone be happy someone else died to save them? I've been blaming the drugs for everything for months, but I felt this way before I started taking them. I just didn't have daily nightmares. They were only weekly.


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Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
4. So you're a dead LW, and he's a live Greg, and you can send him a message. What would the message be? 1. Up yours? 2. Accept my gift and move on? 3. Join a monastary because I don't want you to ever enjoy anything again? 4. Don't blame yourself, enjoy life as you move on the same way we enjoyed it when we were together?

Now what message do you think he would send you?
Hawk
4. Something tells me options #1 and #3 are mutually exclusive...
What's the difference between #2and #4?

The message he would send me probably is "Up yours"

Well damn, I guess I'm in the same mood...




Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
I think you don't like or trust your shrink at least partially becasue she is pushing you places where you don't want to go. But you do need to go there if you want to heal.

Generally, damaged tissue like yours can take a longer time to adjust to cooler weather than most people realize. What I meant was that the weather is causing just enough more discomfort to wear on you more than when it was warmer, but not really noticable by you because of the high level you've already got. It's a trend I've noticed in your posts, and I think a part of what you consider going backwards. That plus just more bad weather days at this time of the year is just wearing on you and making you feel that you are going backwards. I see progress from your posts, even if you are a little more scratchy.
Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you as you sleep,

Hawk
Truthfully I didn't like or trust her from day 1. I walked in and sat down and she was sitting there with a pen and paper and she started asking me questions and writing down what I said. I asked her if she was going to wrote down everything I said and she said she was. I asked her why and she said that was how she covered her butt. I told her "Remind me never to confide in you". I've been really careful never to tell her anything I don't want on my record ever since. Other shrinks I had weren't quite so bad about that.

But as I've said she's smart and is good, I'm just not comfortable talking to her. Plus my doc had to detox me off meds that she wanted me to keep taking.

If I want to heal.. Do I have any choice in the matter?


Scratchy, eh? I guess I did have my claws out a bit when I was typing this. I was ready to claw anyone near me because I haven't had a good sleep in days. Sorry you were the target. I can see what you're saying about the weather. It does make me achy. I see it as a trade-off. Last summer the pain was worse because the injury was less healed than is is now, but I didn't have the cold. Overall I don't hurt as bad as I did 3, or 6, or 9 months ago, but still have a long ways to go in that area. Or at least I hope I'm still going to improve a lot. I'm not thriled with being on these meds 24/7 the rest of my life. Maybe something milder...

I think a lot of what's actually making me pissy is that this crap that I had suppressed for months is all on the surface right now and I can't shove it away anymore. Maybe the anti-depressants did me some good, they messed up my head to where I couldn't deal with the crap in it, and most of the time even though I could feel the pain I couldn't define it.

I'll think more about the rest later. All stuff I've said before, but never put together to think of it as any kind of a good year. And NO, I'd never offer to do it again!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Hawk, the above post is incredible.

LW, is Hawk single? : rofl:

Brown Hawk, they don't grow men like you where I came from.




Wolfe, this is what my Granny would say about the care you receive,
and this whole VA thing.

"Well, that's just beats a hen a rootin'."

You paid her. You came within a gnat's rear end of paying with your life.
I believe Hawk is single, and yes I've thought that myself. But he's way too smart to fall for a head case like me.

You do realize that comment is sig line worthy, don't you?

But to listen to some of these docs, it was a hair on a gnat's ass, not the whole ass.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 01-14-2010, 16:45   #2308
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
I had typed up part of my responses to these last night but was out of time. then I accidently deleted them, which if probably a good thing.
I was in such a crappy mood I wrote that Greg's answer in question 4 would probably be "Up yours". Brown Hark would have ripped my face off, I think. Ripping off faces is uncivilized.

So I'll start again...

1. OK, but if it's any consolation Silent_Runner couldn't clarify what she was asking either. Although you saying "for now" makes me wonder..... That's why I put it in there.




2. Ummmmmmm, I never forced him to do anything. I made a choice that led to him being in a position to make that decision. Show me any choice you made that put him in a position and forced him to make that decision, and I will logically and with great relish, rip it to shreds. I will however, leave your face (and chest) alone.




3. I'm not refusing anything. I don't want to feel like I do, I said that before. If I could wave a wand and feel better about things I would, but how can anyone be happy someone else died to save them? I've been blaming the drugs for everything for months, but I felt this way before I started taking them. I just didn't have daily nightmares. They were only weekly. When you keep blaming yourself for something over which you had no control, you are making yourself feel worse and refusing to get better as a way to punish yourself for what you (falsely) think you did wrong.



4. Something tells me options #1 and #3 are mutually exclusive...
What's the difference between #2and #4? Two things.

The message he would send me probably is "Up yours" BINGO!!! RIGHT ANSWER!!!! Now you're starting to think realisticly. Greg did not sacrifice himself for you. If told that he would get killed, he undoubtedly would have stayed where he was. As a marine said to another in a similar situation, "If I'd known I'd get shot, I'd have left your a** out there." [CONTENT FILTERED FOR SENSITIVE EARS]

Yes, he died, and in dying, allowed you to live. But dying was no part of his plan, ever.

The situation is that he moved, because he moved, haji showed himself, which allowed haji to get killed, and allowed you to be recovered and transported.

He moved, which saved you. Yes, it was a sacrifice of his life, but it wasn't an intentional sacrifice. To put a halo around it and beat your chest about it, is wrong. More, it dishonors him. It takes his humanity away. Raise a glass to a man who tried to get you to saftey when you were open and exposed. Not to some plaster saint who "sacrificed" himself for you.


Well damn, I guess I'm in the same mood... : rofl:






Truthfully I didn't like or trust her from day 1. I walked in and sat down and she was sitting there with a pen and paper and she started asking me questions and writing down what I said. I asked her if she was going to wrote down everything I said and she said she was. I asked her why and she said that was how she covered her butt. I told her "Remind me never to confide in you". I've been really careful never to tell her anything I don't want on my record ever since. You and everybody else in the military. Other shrinks I had weren't quite so bad about that. Or not as open.

But as I've said she's smart and is good, I'm just not comfortable talking to her. Plus my doc had to detox me off meds that she wanted me to keep taking. She's still working on what you need. They expect things to be lied about and withheld.

If I want to heal.. Do I have any choice in the matter? Yes. That is why you have a psycho terrorist.


Scratchy, eh? I guess I did have my claws out a bit when I was typing this. I was ready to claw anyone near me because I haven't had a good sleep in days. Sorry you were the target. I'm not. It needs to come out for you to heal. Like I said, I've got the Kelvar. I can see what you're saying about the weather. It does make me achy. I see it as a trade-off. Last summer the pain was worse because the injury was less healed than is is now, but I didn't have the cold. Overall I don't hurt as bad as I did 3, or 6, or 9 months ago, but still have a long ways to go in that area. Or at least I hope I'm still going to improve a lot. I'm not thriled with being on these meds 24/7 the rest of my life. Maybe something milder...

I think a lot of what's actually making me pissy is that this crap that I had suppressed for months is all on the surface right now and I can't shove it away anymore. Maybe the anti-depressants did me some good, they messed up my head to where I couldn't deal with the crap in it, and most of the time even though I could feel the pain I couldn't define it. Good. Now you are starting to think, and get a perspective on things. So what did the drugs make worse? We know about the nightmares, and the nightmares have caused a great lack of sleep. Lack of sleep interfers with our logical thinking, and we tend to go very heavily with our feelings and emotions. Lack of sleep also tends to magnify negative feelings and emotions and blank positive ones.

I'll think more about the rest later. All stuff I've said before, but never put together to think of it as any kind of a good year. And NO, I'd never offer to do it again!
You are up and doing things, moving around, and starting to get on with life. You are also trying to get past the mental problems all those drugs caused. Like any patient in that position, stuff is coming up that you need to deal with. And the only way to get past it is to deal with it rationally and not emotionally.

Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and some extra cradling you as you sleep and as you walk around.

Hawk
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Old 01-14-2010, 17:02   #2309
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I've gotta tell you, Wolfe, that if I had to go through this portion of my life without an antidepressant, I wouldn't be anything like I am now. It really does repress anger, testiness and sleeplessness. That's why I told you that I stuff things, in an earlier post. That is a small part of what I admire so much about you, Wolfe. You are pushing through this and when it is done, you will have dealt with it. It isn't like your world will be "perfect," but it will be a lot healthier than the way I am handling it and most people handle it now. I know that I couldn't do it your way. You are a very strong person. You are calling yourself a "headcase." Do you realize how many of us there are out here? You are definitely not alone, sweetie.

I think that once you get back to the States, you will see again just how many people there are who have emotional problems. You have been in a small world there, where you are made to feel different, like you are the one of the few who has problems. Please know that I am not trying to minimize what you have been through. That isn't my meaning. But, it has been a while since you have been around your friends, random people dying in their lives, work stress in their lives, child and marriage problems. I could go on and on, people are under tons of stress and many are put on antidepressants to deal with the stresses in their lives, because there isn't time for psychotherapy.

My point is that you aren't that different than anyone else. You are no more of a headcase than anyone else would be if in your position. I think this is coming out wrong, but I just don't want you to feel like you are weird, like you aren't worth another person's love, like you are too broken. You aren't. You are so together, Wolfe and I think you will find that out after you are back here for a while. There is a very good man who will be blessed enough to have you in his life and I would like it if you would stop saying that you aren't worthy. Please try to understand what I am trying to say since I am not doing a very good job of saying it. Gentle as you sleep, dear friend.
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Old 01-14-2010, 17:14   #2310
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Hi LW!!

I think it is time for you to be promoted to a 4 star General!!!! Anything we can do to help get that promotion, for you?

Take care of yourself.

Prayers, for you sweetie.
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Old 01-14-2010, 17:35   #2311
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I just have an observation that hurts me.

You had a person that wanted to save you so much , that he offered his life to do it. I know of no one in my life that would have that much love for me, to do the same.

You are so lucky. I am sorry for intruding.
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Old 01-14-2010, 18:40   #2312
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Originally Posted by janice6 View Post
I just have an observation that hurts me.

You had a person that wanted to save you so much , that he offered his life to do it. I know of no one in my life that would have that much love for me, to do the same.

You are so lucky. I am sorry for intruding.
From what I know of you I would be highly surprised if no one would do this for you. And besides for me it was someone who had known me less than a day.

Never be sorry for offering me your observations, please. I'm not.



Quote:
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Quote:
The message he would send me probably is "Up yours"
BINGO!!! RIGHT ANSWER!!!! Now you're starting to think realisticly. Greg did not sacrifice himself for you. If told that he would get killed, he undoubtedly would have stayed where he was. As a marine said to another in a similar situation, "If I'd known I'd get shot, I'd have left your a** out there." [CONTENT FILTERED FOR SENSITIVE EARS]


Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and some extra cradling you as you sleep and as you walk around.

Hawk
Ummmmmmmmm, you're joking, right? Because I was being sarcastic when I said. I think what he'd really say was for me tonot blame myself and to enjoy life.

And how in the hell could not know he might get shot? There were bullets still flying from the remaining Afghani ****stain, and I had already demonstrated that they were quite real.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
FREEDOM IS NOT FREE

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Old 01-14-2010, 21:05   #2313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
I've been thinking about the last few posts, and actually what I see is
good, real, honest conversation about the best anyone can hope for
our friend Lone_Wolfe. It is simply difficult to communicate by type.

Wolfe, you have been opening up. Opening up means making yourself
vulnerable. I believe that if you are willing to do that here, it means
you know the folks in this thread genuinely care about you.

I had a good friend tell me one time, that our opinions and ideas will
be based upon our own experiences. I know this is true. I think it's hard
to understand the difference between where you are, my Dad would have
said "in the pea soup", because you are the one living what we are talking
about, and the rest of us dealing with our lives not suffering as you are.

I just hope you can take the well-intentioned thoughts and concerns here,
and believe, truely know, that we all have faith, and hope for you and in you.

You already know that I have strong affection for most things native.
That's cool to hear about your Grandfather. NOW, I know what we can
do instead of "you know what" when you visit. I made this drum, last Summer. It's elk hide. I painted the turtle because it's a strong feminine
sign, 13 spots on the shell, 13 moons, etc. I painted the cedar tree as
a symbol of life. The stick is stuffed with fox fir, wrapped in deer skin.
I've played this girl for you before. I look forward to you playing her someday.

Happy Solstice
You know in some ways itís easier to communicate by type instead of face to face. Iím a private person to the point I would never say most of what Iíve said in here, especially for anyone and everyone to hear. Yes, it makes me vulnerable. There are times I wonder what I was thinking the first time I said anything more than a hello in here. Especially since I know darn well that not everyone who reads this stuff is a friend. I have enemies here, just like most of us that have been here for a while. But I talk anyway, I guess mainly because all this crap is so much that I canít keep it inside of me. And the friends I have in here help me get through some days I wonder if I could otherwise. Then people come along and say how much it's helped them too, and that inspires me to continue.

Iíll tell you that my life experiences werenít so different until late 2008. I lived much like many of you until someone came up to me one day and asked if I would deploy. Shortly after that my whole world and life changed. This experience is so different from anything else thatís ever happened to me that I canít even relate yet and Iím the one it happened to.

That drum is beautiful. I keep going back and looking at the picture. Itís a work of art and Iíd consider it an honor to be able to play it.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
It's been a year, and it's been a tough year, over which you have made some great progress. You also have some bad days that are really rough, and some good days that are only bad.

As opposed to that, you have a lot of people who love and care for you, and most of them you will never meet. You have people like Zonny and others, who send you things they think might help. You have people who have shared their own pain to help you both physically and mentally, to show you that you are not alone in what you are going through. You have a cookie-stealing cat that is willing to get a bath twice a day just to help you when you most need it. You even have a physical terrorist, a psycho terrorist, and an internet terrorist, all willing to poke at sore points so that you can hate them and get better.

You've had a tough year. You've had tough years before, and wondered when the pain and agony would end. You crawled through those years, sometimes on your belly, sometimes on your knees, and sometimes you just staggered. But you got through them. We've all had times like that.

You've had a tough year. You've been carried, petted, cuddled, encouraged, prayed for, loved on. Given the gift of love, given the gift of friendship, given the gift of open hearts, given the gift of knowledge of other's pain, given the gift of open handed sharing, given the gift of shared faith, given the gift of staying up all night to help you get through the night. You've even been given the gift that you've waited for all your life, when your mother told you she loved you and was proud of you.

You've had a tough year, one that no one would volunteer to go through.

You've had a tough year. Maybe one of the best years of your life. What do you think?

Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you as you sleep,

Hawk
One of the best years of my life? Of course Iím going to ask if youíve gotten into my pain meds because you must be stoned to think that. But after the initial reaction, which right now is tempered by the tightness and pain in my chest flared up again to the point Iím struggling to get enough air and am about to see if I can get a ride to the hospital, I can see what youíre saying here. Iíve been given the gift of peopleís time, thought and love in here that I can never repay. A few people have sent me gifts like a robe, small blanket and heating pad, and other things that have brought me more happiness that the material item ever could. Mandy is a perfect example. A stuffed cat would make a difference to me no matter what. But that particular cat was sent to me with a caring desire to help me by someone Iíve never met, and I feel that every time I hold her. So many more people have offered to send me things and had me decline, not because I donít appreciate the thought, but because Iím not here to collect goodies and I donít want to have to ship so much home.

Thereís even been more than is known here. MB-G26 recently made mention of my possibly using her house for a summer in Phoenix. Thereís been two other people who have offered to open their homes to me, one for as long as I need to heal. BTW, my doc says that will likely take at least another year before I get to as good as Iím going to get. These two people have never met me yet are willing to trust me with their homes, possessions and even their lives. I read the PMís in both cases and just am amazed by the people here. I can honestly say that they are better than I am, I donít know that I could do that for a stranger.

I do know that Iíve learned more about how good and caring people can be this past year than ever before. Iíve learned how much good those same people can do for someone theyíve never met. Some real good has come out of the past year that I'll carry with me forever. One of the best years of my life? I donít see that, at least not yet. The price was too high.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 01-14-2010, 22:47   #2314
sawgrass
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Posts: 3,315
I was sure happy to have some catching up to do tonight
after work.

I think Glock26girl is right, Wolfe we are all a little "touched".
I agree that you are making progress LW. It might not be
as fast as you want it, but it's happening.

So "within a gnats rear end", is sig line worthy???
Do you have something in mind?
You KNOW a few different things that come to my mind.
You also KNOW where my current, which are my first sig lines
originated. I'm going to stick with those for now. Sneaky Pete.

I'm sorry your chest if acting up. I hope you
found a ride. Please let us know. You know me
I'll be up a while. I'm not sleeping much myself
right now. Searching for that groove with my new students.

Thanks for the compliments on the drum. Maybe when you
visit, we can each make one. I do day dream about you being
here. Fishing, drumming, just hanging out, those all night
chats would sure be alot better in person.


Warm Thoughts,
Sawgrass
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Last edited by sawgrass; 01-14-2010 at 23:03.. Reason: spelling wolfe, just spelling :)
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Old 01-15-2010, 00:08   #2315
Glock26girl
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A prayer for you, Wolfe...

Father, I pray that you will wrap your arms tightly around our precious girl and take the fear of leaving Iraq away from her right now. Please give her a new way of looking at her future, give her a new optimism about what is about to unfold in her life. I know that you have things worked out for her state-side and will be taking the best care of her. Give her the wisdom to make the right choices about where to go and where to stay. You know the answers. Help her to put herself completely in your arms and trust you to take care of the details of her life. I know that you are so willing to carry any burden she can dump on you. Thank you for leading her into my (our) life (lives) and may she be blessed where she goes and trust completely that you will take care of her, including the sleep, etc. We are praying for the miracle of healing. Trusting in you, in Jesus name, we ask. Amen
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Old 01-15-2010, 02:54   #2316
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Some hugs for ya sweetheart
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Old 01-15-2010, 02:54   #2317
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:27   #2318
Lone_Wolfe
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Location: This side of a tombstone
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
Some hugs for ya sweetheart: hugs:
back at ya



Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
I was sure happy to have some catching up to do tonight
after work.

I think Glock26girl is right, Wolfe we are all a little "touched".
I agree that you are making progress LW. It might not be
as fast as you want it, but it's happening.

So "within a gnats rear end", is sig line worthy???
Do you have something in mind?
You KNOW a few different things that come to my mind.
You also KNOW where my current, which are my first sig lines
originated. I'm going to stick with those for now. Sneaky Pete.

I'm sorry your chest if acting up. I hope you
found a ride. Please let us know. You know me
I'll be up a while. I'm not sleeping much myself
right now. Searching for that groove with my new students.

Thanks for the compliments on the drum. Maybe when you
visit, we can each make one. I do day dream about you being
here. Fishing, drumming, just hanging out, those all night
chats would sure be alot better in person.


Warm Thoughts,
Sawgrass
Hey if my progress was fast enough to suit me this thread wouldnít exist because Iíd have been healed and have my head in a much better place by last July. But one thing my Physical Terrorist keeps telling me that as long as I keep making progress Iíll be ABLE to keep making progress. That may sound strange but I understand what he means. All the time I lost during the summer and re-aggravating the injury slowed the healing a lot.

I mean for me to make a sig line out of you saying that about coming within a gnatís rear end. That was just a funny way to put it. But then several people have said things to me over here that if they were on GT would end up as my sig line too. That medicís ďtombstoneĒ comment comes to mindÖ Sneaky Pete???

I just walked to the hospital. I figured I was already hurting, so what the hell. I spent the morning there, now Iím back in my office working a bit on some computer stuff. Itís raining today and thatís getting the best of me right now.

Hope you get settled in with the new class quickly. I wouldnít mind making a drum myself if you show me how. You have to remember, while youíre chatting at night itís daytime for me here.
__________________
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 01-15-2010, 06:45   #2319
sawgrass
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Posts: 3,315
I'll just be glad when you feel well enough to want to return to the
US and continue with your life. Dig out most of your toys.
A couple of them are going swimming.

Wolfe, I enjoy our late night chats, yea I know you are nine hours
ahead of me. I hope the sun comes out soon, and it warms up
some for you. I guess most of all, I hope you get real sleep
tonight.

This class is actually great. A little older, more mature, more desperate
in this economy. I really like them. I want to give them everything
I can.

I would be honored to show you how to make a drum. We can make
medicine wheels too if you like. You could use a dream catcher.
My Indian buddy teaches me. I would like to learn how to make sweetgrass baskets.

Like I said, I'm keeping my current sig lines.
Feel free to use whatever you like.

Wolfe, I've asked you so many questions, I'm naturally double spacing
between sentences.

It's 6:45, we've done it again.

Sawgrass
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Old 01-15-2010, 12:15   #2320
Silent_Runner
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Location: Off the Deep End!
Posts: 3,310
faawrenchbndr that kitten looks like trouble.


Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
You paid her. You came within a gnat's rear end of paying with your life.
sawgrass I don't think you have to worry about your own sig lines. She was threatening to change her own to reflect what you said.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post

So you're a dead LW, and he's a live Greg, and you can send him a message. What would the message be? 1. Up yours? 2. Accept my gift and move on? 3. Join a monastary because I don't want you to ever enjoy anything again? 4. Don't blame yourself, enjoy life as you move on the same way we enjoyed it when we were together?

Hawk
5. Watch out for Silent_Runner!

Never mind, that was the message to yourself.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
One of the best years of my life? Of course Iím going to ask if youíve gotten into my pain meds because you must be stoned to think that. But after the initial reaction, which right now is tempered by the tightness and pain in my chest flared up again to the point Iím struggling to get enough air and am about to see if I can get a ride to the hospital, I can see what youíre saying here. Iíve been given the gift of peopleís time, thought and love in here that I can never repay. A few people have sent me gifts like a robe, small blanket and heating pad, and other things that have brought me more happiness that the material item ever could. Mandy is a perfect example. A stuffed cat would make a difference to me no matter what. But that particular cat was sent to me with a caring desire to help me by someone Iíve never met, and I feel that every time I hold her. So many more people have offered to send me things and had me decline, not because I donít appreciate the thought, but because Iím not here to collect goodies and I donít want to have to ship so much home.

Thereís even been more than is known here. MB-G26 recently made mention of my possibly using her house for a summer in Phoenix. Thereís been two other people who have offered to open their homes to me, one for as long as I need to heal. BTW, my doc says that will likely take at least another year before I get to as good as Iím going to get. These two people have never met me yet are willing to trust me with their homes, possessions and even their lives. I read the PMís in both cases and just am amazed by the people here. I can honestly say that they are better than I am, I donít know that I could do that for a stranger.

I do know that Iíve learned more about how good and caring people can be this past year than ever before. Iíve learned how much good those same people can do for someone theyíve never met. Some real good has come out of the past year that I'll carry with me forever. One of the best years of my life? I donít see that, at least not yet. The price was too high.
Wolfe I can certainly see your point in not calling this the best year of your life bit you certainly will carry some of what you have seen in here for the rest of your life and be an even better person for it. That doesn't mean you weren't already a good person because you were but now your life has a special meaning.

You say you can never repay the love and kindness you recieve in here but you are wrong. You will repay us by not giving up. You will repay us all when you finally win this battle and can be happy and whole again. We would also like to see you physically well so keep working on that too.
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In real life I'm an *** hole with a gun. :supergrin:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe
I mean, Iím mentally ill, not mentally deficient! There's a difference between psycho and stupid.
Rest in Peace Jeff Abshire-1962-2012-aka 23Skidoo
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