[B. Somm]

Had to log in just so I could do this for Lone_Wolfe...


Shuffled On Over To Page One Hundred and One!





Hope you're feeling better my friend!

B.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by okie

Keely is good peeps sweetheart

She really is, okie. I wish I could get one pic of here that’ll never happen again. When I walked in the room Skidoo introduced us. When he got to “And this is Lone_Wolfe” the look on her face was a Kodak moment. She said “OMG! Are you really Lone_Wolfe?! I thought you were in Iraq!”

For a minute there I felt like someone famous.

Speaking of pics I need to get the rest I took burned to a CD and mailed to her.

For okie....

Originally Posted by AK_Stick

Thats my girl

Hey friend, how's the housewarming coming? Good to see you again.

Originally Posted by sawgrass

LW, finally have internet. Two guys, from tech support one named Alex and one named Rami, are going to need a drink tonight.

You are in my thoughts.

Sawgrass

Glad you made it back, I've missed you. Sorry I missed a couple calls too. BTW, I'm doing the drinking for those guys tonight.

Originally Posted by engineer151515

How can we help you, Princess?

You know, besides being here for me, I really wish I could give you a concrete answer. I know if I could tell you a way to banish the awful things in my head and the pain you would do it, probably in a New York second. And I would be grateful forever.

[engineer151515]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

You know, besides being here for me, I really wish I could give you a concrete answer. I know if I could tell you a way to banish the awful things in my head and the pain you would do it, probably in a New York second. And I would be grateful forever.

I submit, you are never alone.

You have had a touch of celebrity and the quiet hours may feel extremely empty. That is a natural response. It can be difficult.

However

Your foundation is strong. You will weather these changes too and you will remain standing.

When you need help, as we all do sometimes, you call.

Help will come.

I'd like you to look forward. Imagine where you will be five years from now. I'm certain that will be a hopeful picture. Sunshine. Love. Security. Warmth. Home.

It is yours.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by B. Somm

Had to log in just so I could do this for Lone_Wolfe...


Shuffled On Over To Page One Hundred and One!





Hope you're feeling better my friend!

B. : wavey: : exercise:

Hey B. Somm, you showed up without a lolcat? J/K, I’m always glad to see you, you’re mega-cool in my book. I really hope you’re feeling better. I never did get more than a few sniffles, luckily. That would NOT have been fun.

Originally Posted by engineer151515

I submit, you are never alone.

You have had a touch of celebrity and the quiet hours may feel extremely empty. That is a natural response. It can be difficult.

However

Your foundation is strong. You will weather these changes too and you will remain standing.

When you need help, as we all do sometimes, you call.

Help will come.

I'd like you to look forward. Imagine where you will be five years from now. I'm certain that will be a hopeful picture. Sunshine. Love. Security. Warmth. Home.

It is yours.

I’ll say that that whenever I’ve been alone, whether in my room on base or here it's been difficult because the demons in my head are there too. Along with the nightmares. So in that sense I’m not alone but wish I could be. Not alone because you are with me in spirit, now that gives me strength on nights when I need it the most. The last couple nights I sure did, and I reached out for that strength. Thank you.

Five years from now…. Now that’s something I haven’t even thought about in a long time. Something to try to think about today….

[engineer151515]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

.........

Not alone because you are with me in spirit, now that gives me strength on nights when I need it the most........

Absolutely.

I am.

Everybody here is.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by Geeorge

OK, Gomer. So do I give you the scratch?

Originally Posted by Nicko

Just thinking about ya' : wavey:

I love that kitty!

[sawgrass]

Five years from now…. Now that’s something I haven’t even thought about in a long time. Something to try to think about today….

[/quote]

LW, five years will make a big difference.

Today was a tough day. We laughed at your idea a couple of times,
and it helped us keep going. My back wishes my head hadn't heard
the phrase "buy it cheap, stack it deep".

Thinking of you, wishing you could join us for a little medicinal alcohol.
SG

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by sawgrass

LW, five years will make a big difference.

Today was a tough day. We laughed at your idea a couple of times,
and it helped us keep going. My back wishes my head hadn't heard
the phrase "buy it cheap, stack it deep".

Thinking of you, wishing you could join us for a little medicinal alcohol.
SG

Five years had BETTER make a big differebce! I sure hope I'm not still this screwed up even in one or two years.

So which idea of mine did you laugh about? If your back is like mine and most others, it thinks moving shoud be outlawed. Hope it's going well.

I may not be able to join you but I'm with you in Spirit. In fact this beer's for you.

[Glock26girl]

Since we don't personally understand or know what you are going through, it is difficult for me, at least to say the right words. But, I will assure you that we are praying for you, honey. We love you and as much as we can, we stand with you in your fight to feel better. Praying for angels of protection to stand guard around your mind and emotions. God will protect you, precious girl.

[DScottHewitt]

Checking in.

[23skidoo]

Please allow me to add to the others my dear. You are NEVER alone. When you are having a night mare you will feel a hand on your shoulder or hear someone calling your name. That will be one of us. Take care sweetheart.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

Since we don't personally understand or know what you are going through, it is difficult for me, at least to say the right words. But, I will assure you that we are praying for you, honey. We love you and as much as we can, we stand with you in your fight to feel better. Praying for angels of protection to stand guard around your mind and emotions. God will protect you, precious girl.

Thank you, G26girl. I need those prayers right now, that I know. I can't believe how down and depressed I feel. Well, yes I can. All the guilt and crap in my head made sure it followed me here. I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that I have a right to be happy and that Greg would want me to be, and having no luck. The nightmares followed me here too. I was hoping somehow they wouldn't fit on the airplane.

Originally Posted by DScottHewitt

Checking in.

Hey friend. Thanks for stopping by. You know I always enjoy seeing you.

Originally Posted by 23skidoo

Please allow me to add to the others my dear. You are NEVER alone. When you are having a night mare you will feel a hand on your shoulder or hear someone calling your name. That will be one of us. Take care sweetheart.

You have my cell number, please feel free to call it at anytime for any reason.

I hope it was you that woke me up a little while ago from the nightmare I was having. I know I can call you and I wish I could make myself. I just get to where I don't want to talk to anyone at all. If I could make myself call you I would because I love to talk to you and others on here.

[okie]

[AK_Stick]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Hey friend, how's the housewarming coming? Good to see you again.

Well haven't settled on a house just yet. Got word I'm going to Iraq again soon, so house searching has taken a back seat to enjoying life. But life is good, glad to hear you're in the USA. I'll look you up next time I'm going to be down in America.

P.S. Deadday and I will hopefully be in the same AO in the july-aug time frame. You should be around Texas too.

[Silent_Runner]

Originally Posted by Lone Wolf8634

Trust me when I say you guys have helped her more than you can imagine.

Everyone in this thread deserves an extra large helping of karma points.

This is one of the truest posts I have ever read. Please keep up your prayers and good will for Wolfe and keep talking to her and encouraging her. She’s even more stressed out here than either of us expected and her return to Iraq has hit a snag. You people can still make a difference for her and I am grateful for that.

Originally Posted by Nicko

Just thinking about ya'

Nicko that kitty picture is so adorable.

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Thanks Arquebus, I like to think I deserve it, but wonder sometimes. I know I haven't said much in here, in part because if being busy and internet connection problems, but a lot of just because I want to shut down and shut everyone out so much. That and I haven't been as comfortable talking openly in here recently as I had been. I know what a bad idea that is, but can't help it.
I know I have a bunch of PM’s I haven’t answered and I feel bad about that. I just haven’t had the mental energy. Like that’s anything new. I was sitting here feeling down and crappy and came to a realization about what’s been happening. I’ve been able to get out and enjoy meeting some GT’ers and really enjoyed that, but back here at my house I’m alone with the nightmares and demons in my head I’m just shutting down and unable to deal with anything. My shrink wanted me to keep working on my problems while I was back here, she’s gonna have a field day with me when I get back there.

Yes that is a very bad idea. Wolfe I understand why you’re not comfortable talking openly in here like you did before but you know you would be so much better off if you could. I know some harsh things have been said to you and have hurt you but you have a lot to gain if you can open back up. Please remember that even the harsh words are a slightly misguided attempt to help you.

I know you have not forgotten how much harder it was for you last summer to start back into therapy after closing yourself off for weeks during your leave. You really don’t want to go through that again if you can help it and talking about more than just generalities in here will help you. These people here have more and better answers that I ever will.

AK-Stick please be careful over there. Wolfe is supposed to go back over for a few months but should be back here in time to meet you and deadday.

B. Somm I'll have you know that your captioned Mandy pictures made me laugh so hard I alarmed the other nurses I work with.

[BobInTX]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Thank you, G26girl. I need those prayers right now, that I know. I can't believe how down and depressed I feel. Well, yes I can. All the guilt and crap in my head made sure it followed me here. I'm sitting here trying to convince myself that I have a right to be happy and that Greg would want me to be, and having no luck. The nightmares followed me here too. I was hoping somehow they wouldn't fit on the airplane.

I guess my rule about no nightmares in the States didn't work, eh? That's okay. The calories always find me out of town, too, darnit.

Wolfe, I was asked to say a prayer of thanksgiving and peace yesterday at Church. I was thinking about you when I said it. Here is an excerpt:

"We ask You to bring Your peace more fully into our world. Lord, since Cain killed Abel, this world has been at war. Man versus man, country versus country, race versus race. The prince of this world has been busy at work, sowing seeds of lies, jealousy, greed, despair and hatred. Even though war is always horrible, sometimes war is unavoidable to protect the unalienable rights of life and liberty that You have given to all people. Evil people do evil things. With that in mind we ask that You would be with those who are serving our country in harm’s way. Give them protection from evil and comfort them with Your presence. Be with their families who are so far away. Be with those with physical and mental wounds from the horrors of war, and with those families grieving over sons and daughters lost in conflict. Give them Your peace."

I ask God for you to have peace in your mind, body and heart in the months ahead.

BobInTX

[sawgrass]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Five years had BETTER make a big differebce! I sure hope I'm not still this screwed up even in one or two years.

So which idea of mine did you laugh about? If your back is like mine and most others, it thinks moving shoud be outlawed. Hope it's going well.

I may not be able to join you but I'm with you in Spirit. In fact this beer's for you.

Moving help. We could have just bought pizza and beer.

So Wolfe, three qualities I admire about you are your intelligence,
your quick wit, and your ability to be direct and honest. ok maybe that's four. In thinking about that, I want to ask you to consider the
"INTENTION" of the posts here. People want to help you. There are
people here who would do anything they could for you. I realize that
some things have hurt you. You need to realize folks are reaching out
to someone they don't really know. I think you should also consider that
sometimes how we perceive things is colored by other things. Things
like meds, events, alcohol etc. I'm not saying that happened but it's
possible.

Since you've been home you have met a few of the people here.
It sounds like it has gone well. From so many posts in this thread,
by you and others, it is evident that you benefit from the care
you get here.

It sounds like you are struggling a lot. If you think it helps, reach in,
find the energy and courage, and spend some time here.
Wolfe, meds, booze, depression, and closing up will not end well.
I don't know the details of the Iraq snag, but if it's a big snag, have
you reached out to the VA yet? Wolfe, you are a smart woman.
Let the people who want to help you, help you. Pick up the phone,
get on this thread, whatever helps. The people here do love and care
about you. All you have to do is allow it.

Sawgrass

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by BobInTX

I guess my rule about no nightmares in the States didn't work, eh? That's okay. The calories always find me out of town, too, darnit.

Wolfe, I was asked to say a prayer of thanksgiving and peace yesterday at Church. I was thinking about you when I said it. Here is an excerpt:

"We ask You to bring Your peace more fully into our world. Lord, since Cain killed Abel, this world has been at war. Man versus man, country versus country, race versus race. The prince of this world has been busy at work, sowing seeds of lies, jealousy, greed, despair and hatred. Even though war is always horrible, sometimes war is unavoidable to protect the unalienable rights of life and liberty that You have given to all people. Evil people do evil things. With that in mind we ask that You would be with those who are serving our country in harm’s way. Give them protection from evil and comfort them with Your presence. Be with their families who are so far away. Be with those with physical and mental wounds from the horrors of war, and with those families grieving over sons and daughters lost in conflict. Give them Your peace."

I ask God for you to have peace in your mind, body and heart in the months ahead.

BobInTX

Thank you Bob, that's a beautiful prayer. Neither no nightmares order or the calorie restriction have been working for me, dangit! I wish at least one of them would. My first choice would be the no nightmares.

I've had a busy day today, spent most of it at Ft Benning. I'll go into details later because I'm about to get something to eat and the replenish the beer supply. Sawgrass, I'm sorry I couldn't answer, I was in an area where I was supposed to have turned the phone off.

I need to reread and really think about when some of you have posted here, I'll make it a point to do that later too.

[Lone_Wolfe]

Originally Posted by okie

Hey okie.

Originally Posted by Arquebus12

Yeah, been meaning to ask that myself... are you on Fazebook?

Almost missed this one, but no, no facebook or any other networking site.

Originally Posted by Tow/Repo

: drunk: You can drink the Fat Tire... I will drink Fosters...
<---- Had a really bad, bad, bad night after drinken Fat Tire with some other beers/drinks/people that for some reason I don't remember their names.


atoy

It proly wasn't the Fat Tire, but the other booze you mixed with it. But that's OK, Foster's is good too.

Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr

Tomorrow,.....I run

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm running the ING Marathon tomorrow, 26.2 miles

I'll either make it or die trying.
If I do not post Sunday, I'm most likely sleeping.
If I do not post Monday, I'm most likely dead,
or still running the 26.2 miles.

I was about to go out myself hunting for you but I see you online so I assume that means you'll live and may even walk again. Hope you enjoyed yourself.

Originally Posted by sawgrass

Moving help. We could have just bought pizza and beer. : rofl:

So Wolfe, three qualities I admire about you are your intelligence,
your quick wit, and your ability to be direct and honest. ok maybe that's four. In thinking about that, I want to ask you to consider the
"INTENTION" of the posts here. People want to help you. There are
people here who would do anything they could for you. I realize that
some things have hurt you. You need to realize folks are reaching out
to someone they don't really know. I think you should also consider that
sometimes how we perceive things is colored by other things. Things
like meds, events, alcohol etc. I'm not saying that happened but it's
possible.

Since you've been home you have met a few of the people here.
It sounds like it has gone well. From so many posts in this thread,
by you and others, it is evident that you benefit from the care
you get here.

It sounds like you are struggling a lot. If you think it helps, reach in,
find the energy and courage, and spend some time here.
Wolfe, meds, booze, depression, and closing up will not end well.
I don't know the details of the Iraq snag, but if it's a big snag, have
you reached out to the VA yet? Wolfe, you are a smart woman.
Let the people who want to help you, help you. Pick up the phone,
get on this thread, whatever helps. The people here do love and care
about you. All you have to do is allow it.

Sawgrass

Well, today I wore my uniform for the last time. I went to Ft. Benning where they poked, prodded, shoved a thermometer up my ass, asked a million questions, and read me more info that I can possible remember and as of today I’m off active duty for good. No going back in this time. Damn. I knew I couldn’t make it a career, but I never thought it would end this way. I guess I’m like most people in that I hate to have my choices taken away, but I sure didn’t have the choice in this one. In honor of the occasion I tossed my ACU’s on the bed and got this pic of Mandy giving them one last inspection.


And surprise, surprise, the doctor there agreed that I was eligible for VA care for my injury. I said it like that because for a while he acted like he thought it didn’t happen in the line of duty. Ummmmmm, doc, I was shot with an AK, not a 38 SPL. Doesn’t that tell you something?................

Between doing quite q bit of driving around the base and town today and the rain I’m definitely feeling it, so I’m making sure my cranky doesn’t show. Shiner Bock is helping with that. Sawgrass, I’ll bet you want to brain me. When you called again I was driving and since I can’t drive one-handed, well……….. Sorry that sort of thing keeps happening. I came home this evening and went to bed and got about an hour, maybe an hour and a half before the old faithful nightmares came calling. So here I am to talk to you, my friends.

Sawgrass, I told you I would think about what you and others said here, and I did. Plus what’s been said to me in PM’s and by a certain nurse with a bat and a Garand. You folks are right about the intention of everyone who’s trying to help here. They’re trying to help, even if they say hurtful things. We can never know how someone might take something without seeing their reaction as we speak. I won’t deny that my perception is different now for any number of reasons, but there are some things I’ve always been upset by, even “before”. With that being said I’ll give the short version of one thing that’s really hurting right now. (Besides my chest, that is) I do things like meeting four of you, go out and eat something I’ve missed while I was gone, get threatened by Silent_Runner, and afterwards I always remember that the only reason I get to do these things is because someone else died so I could do them. And he didn’t have to. I also feel like I'm sitting in someone else's life and can't handle even simple daily life, but I've already explained that.

As for the snag in going back to Iraq is that now the job I was offered may only last 2-3 months and the company is having second thoughts about sending me back instead of just shifting someone already over there. I should know shortly. The person I talked to a little bit ago was optimistic, so my fingers are crossed.

[23skidoo]

Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe

Hey okie.





Almost missed this one, but no, no facebook or any other networking site.





It proly wasn't the Fat Tire, but the other booze you mixed with it. But that's OK, Foster's is good too.





I was about to go out myself hunting for you but I see you online so I assume that means you'll live and may even walk again. Hope you enjoyed yourself.





Well, today I wore my uniform for the last time. I went to Ft. Benning where they poked, prodded, shoved a thermometer up my ass, asked a million questions, and read me more info that I can possible remember and as of today I’m off active duty for good. No going back in this time. Damn. I knew I couldn’t make it a career, but I never thought it would end this way. I guess I’m like most people in that I hate to have my choices taken away, but I sure didn’t have the choice in this one. In honor of the occasion I tossed my ACU’s on the bed and got this pic of Mandy giving them one last inspection.


And surprise, surprise, the doctor there agreed that I was eligible for VA care for my injury. I said it like that because for a while he acted like he thought it didn’t happen in the line of duty. Ummmmmm, doc, I was shot with an AK, not a 38 SPL. Doesn’t that tell you something?................

Between doing quite q bit of driving around the base and town today and the rain I’m definitely feeling it, so I’m making sure my cranky doesn’t show. Shiner Bock is helping with that. Sawgrass, I’ll bet you want to brain me. When you called again I was driving and since I can’t drive one-handed, well……….. Sorry that sort of thing keeps happening. I came home this evening and went to bed and got about an hour, maybe an hour and a half before the old faithful nightmares came calling. So here I am to talk to you, my friends.

Sawgrass, I told you I would think about what you and others said here, and I did. Plus what’s been said to me in PM’s and by a certain nurse with a bat and a Garand. You folks are right about the intention of everyone who’s trying to help here. They’re trying to help, even if they say hurtful things. We can never know how someone might take something without seeing their reaction as we speak. I won’t deny that my perception is different now for any number of reasons, but there are some things I’ve always been upset by, even “before”. With that being said I’ll give the short version of one thing that’s really hurting right now. (Besides my chest, that is) I do things like meeting four of you, go out and eat something I’ve missed while I was gone, get threatened by Silent_Runner, and afterwards I always remember that the only reason I get to do these things is because someone else died so I could do them. And he didn’t have to. I also feel like I'm sitting in someone else's life and can't handle even simple daily life, but I've already explained that.

As for the snag in going back to Iraq is that now the job I was offered may only last 2-3 months and the company is having second thoughts about sending me back instead of just shifting someone already over there. I should know shortly. The person I talked to a little bit ago was optimistic, so my fingers are crossed.

As are mine my dear.

[okie]

[Glock26girl]

Whichever way it goes, Wolfe, we are all pulling for you and keeping you constantly in our prayers. We know that whatever happens in your life now, will happen for a reason. We love you, precious girl.: )

[AK_Stick]

You'll always be a soldier in my book. Uniform or not, you're one hell of a trooper.

[engineer151515]

Wow. So many life changes in such a short time. It must feel like a wave crashing over you sometimes.

Good thing you know how to swim, no?




I hope things start swinging your way soon.


PS - maybe facebook isn't a bad idea. I've only signed up in the past year to contact some old high school buddies so my social "network" is small. But it has become an increasingly useful tool to communicate with folks.

If you want to put a face on me, check your PM's.

[Peace Warrior]

Originally Posted by Glock26girl

Whichever way it goes, Wolfe, we are all pulling for you and keeping you constantly in our prayers. We know that whatever happens in your life now, will happen for a reason. We love you, precious girl.: )

What she said L_W.