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Old 09-11-2013, 06:50   #1
Mrs Glockrunner
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Location: South Carolina
Posts: 2,776
Tombstones

Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.
******************************
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
******************************
In a London, England cemetery:
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
****************************
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
******************************
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast. .
Pardon me
For not rising.
******************************
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
******************************
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
****************************
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange. .
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
*****************************
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.
*****************************
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.
*****************************
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
******************************
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God
*****************************
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the
tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went
******************************
Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:18   #2
1955mercury
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 438
I know my reply isn't funny, but Ricky Scaggs said he wanted "Return to Sender" carved on his tombstone. I thought that was about the best inscription I had ever heard for a tombstone.
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:49   #3
Brian Lee
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Location: Up a tree.
Posts: 8,249
Actually, If I remember right, it's "4 slugs from a 44".
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Old 09-11-2013, 11:54   #4
janice6
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Location: minnesota
Posts: 20,585


"Beneath this stone a virgin lies, for her life held no terrors. Born a virgin, died a virgin, no hits, no runs, no errors."
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"Peace is that brief, glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading". Anonymous

Earp: Not everyone who knows you hates you.
DOC: I know it ain't always easy bein' my friend....but I'll BE THERE when you need me.
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