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Old 02-18-2013, 05:58   #10081
Lone_Wolfe
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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
When you train a dog or horse to handle gunfire, you start by letting them hear the sound from a distance. You keep getting closer and closer until they can handle the noise without flinching. Why not humans?

You could watch a 21 gun salute on YouTube. Then next day watch some video of a guy reviewing a revolver or semi indoors. Then watch a vid of some guys shooting at the range, then shooting auto fire outdoors. Keep watching videos to get yourself a little desensitized.

Then go back to the store you were at and just listen to the gunfire.

Set yourself goals to be accomplished by set dates so you know you're making progress. Start small and work up. Watch for 1 minute. Then 2. Set a timer. If you can't handle a time, go back to the previous time, and then try again.

I'd like to see you work until you can watch a video of Ak-47's being fired. 1 minute, 1 1/2 minutes, 2 minutes, 4 minutes, all of it. All of it every day for a week.

Make yourself watch a movie at home (or a friend's house) with plenty of shooting. I'd recommend the original "Die Hard". (I know, you hate movies.) You can ease into it like the other vids. Start it over every time so you get desensitized to the parts you saw before.

Then, go to a shooting movie in public. A matinee so it's not crowded. You don't have to see the whole thing. Make a goal for how long you will sit there.


Then go to a gun store and ask to see a gun and hold it. Do it several times.

Then go to a gun store and ask to see a semi-auto rifle and hold it.

I'm not saying do this in a week. I'm talking months. Set a goal that by the end of February you will do this. Then by March 15 you do at, etc.

You don't have to do it this particular way. Make your own plan. Have a plan and carry it out. Be proactive. Make some rewards for yourself for accomplishing a goal.
That does make sense, it's worth a try. I really need to get past this more than I have been. Between stuff I've seen or been part of since I got back, I'm not sure which fear is worse. My fear of guns and being around them, or fear of not having one if I were to need one. That, and there's gotten to be so many problems with animals in my area, it makes me wish for a .22 at times.

It's gotten worse since I got home. I was more tolerant of hearing gunfire overseas, except when it was AK-47's being fired. I never could get past the panic attacks from them. But here, if I hear any shots I get pretty freaked out. That's been hard, especially during hunting season. It's just rural enough out here that gunfire is a given out here. It's caused me some real panics.

I see bits and pieces of movies with shooting, and I don't mind it too much, as long as it's not loud or showing AK-47's. I think the volume would be a big thing there, live gunfire is loud, TV's may not be. I did try handling a couple of guns once, at Jeff's house. I didn't handle it very well, I was just sitting there crying. If I was going to do that again, I wish I could have someone with me that understands, and I don't have that here.

I didn't have something to do with guns Friday night, although I didn't handle one, or even see it close up. My friend that took care of me during chemo asked if I wanted to go with her and her husband to run some errands. He wanted to stop in a sporting goods store, so we walked around in there for a while. We came up on the gun counter, which is one long row of guns. He wanted to look a bit, so I was going to just hang out where I was. I spotted a paper on the counter, and picked it up. It was a printout of the proposed gun ban, with a list of specific models.

My friend's husband had previously mentioned wanting a .22, so I got an idea. A salesman came over and asked if we needed anything, so I asked if they had anything on the list in stock that was under $700. He said they did, so I told my friend's husband to pick out one of them and I'd pay for it. Me went off with the salesman to choose and do the paperwork, and I wandered off to a different department nearby. A few minutes later I was called over to pay, and he had a .22 that looks like an M4. Made by S&W, I forget the model. Just because, even though I hate guns, I still support the constitution.




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Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
By the way, how is the hair doing? Still short? You send me another pic?
Yep, the hair is still short. Not as short as when you saw me, but not near long enough. Still has very little color, too. I seems the cancer and all the other crap too all the color out of it. Guess I shouldn't be surprised, since getting shot I've aged way faster than before. And I didn't send you that pic, you took it yourself.



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I'm going to be merciful to you by not posting pics of myself.

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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 02-18-2013, 10:47   #10082
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And I didn't send you that pic, you took it yourself.
Well!





Just remember to set goals for yourself. That's the most important thing.
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:52   #10083
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Well!





Just remember to set goals for yourself. That's the most important thing.


Right now my goal is just to get some sleep. The nightmares have amped up again, and my chest is fussing big time. I gave up on staying off the Fentanyl a few weeks back. Couldn't do it, I just don't have much pain tolerance.

The PA at the VA today was actually pretty nice. He took a a little time to do more than just throw my scripts at me. He admitted not much can be done for me after all this time, but said my original surgeries shouldn't have been arthriscopically, that's too limited for the amount of repair I needed done. Just confirming what I've known for a long time. He did give me steroid injections, I haven't had them in a while. My chest is tight as hell right now, been on the verge of a breathing attack for hours.

I've been thinking about how to deal with the other problem, too. I know I have to in some way, unless I just want to let a storage locker full rot forever. I really wish someone that understands lived near here. They could probably help me quite a bit.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:42   #10084
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Old 02-26-2013, 00:23   #10085
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back, and Hiya.

Greetings from Illinois. I'm up here visiting Silent_Runner, she said to tell you all hello and that she appreciates all the prayers and good thoughts. I appreciate them, too, and ask that they go on.

As I said last year, it's very hard for me to say good-bye to friends. In part because it's so hard for me to make them, even more so because of what a good friend I'm lucky enough to have. All this time I've been asking for your prayers, I've been hoping for a miracle. That's not going to happen.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 02-26-2013, 00:28   #10086
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Give her a good slap for me!
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Old 02-26-2013, 05:51   #10087
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Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
back, and Hiya.

Greetings from Illinois. I'm up here visiting Silent_Runner, she said to tell you all hello and that she appreciates all the prayers and good thoughts. I appreciate them, too, and ask that they go on.

As I said last year, it's very hard for me to say good-bye to friends. In part because it's so hard for me to make them, even more so because of what a good friend I'm lucky enough to have. All this time I've been asking for your prayers, I've been hoping for a miracle. That's not going to happen.
My prayers continue. I'm sorry to hear things are so bad that you are talking about having to say goodbye to another friend. Please understand that though we are not face to face friends, I do care very much about you and what you are going through. I am your friend, and will faithfully stay that way. I'm sure there are many others who feel the same way on this thread alone. You are loved...don't fear that!
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:54   #10088
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^^^ What she said.

Give SR a big hug for me. She has always encouraged me while I was trying to help you. I hate that this is happening to her so young.
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Old 02-26-2013, 08:59   #10089
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^^^ What she said.

Give SR a big hug for me. She has always encouraged me while I was trying to help you. I hate that this is happening to her so young.
I'll second that. for the both of ya's!
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:18   #10090
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LW, give SR a hug for me too. I'm glad you are able to visit her.
Both of you are in my prayers.
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Old 02-28-2013, 00:11   #10091
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Originally Posted by Angry Fist View Post
Give her a good slap for me!
She laughed and told me to belt you (her words) for her.



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Originally Posted by Lady Glock View Post
My prayers continue. I'm sorry to hear things are so bad that you are talking about having to say goodbye to another friend. Please understand that though we are not face to face friends, I do care very much about you and what you are going through. I am your friend, and will faithfully stay that way. I'm sure there are many others who feel the same way on this thread alone. You are loved...don't fear that!
Thank you LG, I value your friendship, too. Your's and so many other's here. In the last few years you've all taught me many lessons on how much you could care for someone you've never met.



Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
^^^ What she said.

Give SR a big hug for me. She has always encouraged me while I was trying to help you. I hate that this is happening to her so young.
Hug given. She said to tell you how much she's enjoyed talking to you and that she thinks you're a really special person to have done so much for someone you didn't even know when you started.



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I'll second that. for the both of ya's!
Thank you. Hugs given, and back to you.



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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
LW, give SR a hug for me too. I'm glad you are able to visit her.
Both of you are in my prayers.
Hugs given from you, too. I'm glad I'm able to, also. Once again my chest is complaining, and all the usual crap, but this isn't about me. Just like when I went to West Virginia to visit Jeff, this is for her. It's the least I can do, after all she's done for me, especially in the last few years. Besides, we've had the chance to talk about a lot of things, and to say what we each need to say.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 02-28-2013, 09:40   #10092
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LW, I'm really happy that you are able to visit and talk to SR. While I'm not clear as to what is going on with her, my sense is that it's very serious. You are a good friend to put yourself aside and do what needs to be done once again. Prayers for both of you.
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Old 03-03-2013, 18:53   #10093
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I appreciate SR's comment's.

Are you back home?
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:02   #10094
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I received an email from LW who she is having computer issues and can't log on to GT. She said she will have to repair it when she gets home.

SR and LW you are both in my thoughts and prayers.
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Old 03-04-2013, 15:28   #10095
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Good thoughts for both of them.
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Old 03-04-2013, 20:01   #10096
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I appreciate SR's comment's.

Are you back home?
I am now.

Damn, damn, damn.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 03-04-2013, 20:28   #10097
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CRAP

At any rate, I'm glad you made it home with another big storm across the Midwest.
Calling for heavy snow here. LW don't hesitate to let me know if I can do anything.
I am so sorry that this is happening...again.
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Old 03-06-2013, 00:50   #10098
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CRAP

At any rate, I'm glad you made it home with another big storm across the Midwest.
Calling for heavy snow here. LW don't hesitate to let me know if I can do anything.
I am so sorry that this is happening...again.
Yep, I got out before the snow got there. I might have stayed another day if not for that. I wanted to stay a lot longer, but knew I wouldn't be doing anyone any good if I did. She extracted a few promises out of me, and tried for a couple that I just couldn't make. One of the promises she wanted was that I won't go up there for the very end. She doesn't want me to sit there and watch her die. I want to be there for her, but I get it. She doesn't want that to be my memories of her. I'll respect that, no matter how much it hurts. What she wants is the only thing that matters right now.

She also dragged other promises out of me, I'll talk about a couple of them later. Right now my screen is too blurry to type anymore.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 03-06-2013, 01:28   #10099
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.. I'll talk about a couple of them later. Right now my screen is too blurry to type anymore.
Sorry
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Old 03-06-2013, 01:43   #10100
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Damnit ......

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