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Old 02-17-2013, 22:50   #26
devildog2067
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurly View Post
For those ladies who frequent GT, I'd be interested in hearing your opinions
You're not interested in hearing men's opinions on why marriage done well is a great thing?

Quote:
With the declining birth rate, our nation is faced with a HUGE demographic issue that will directly affect Medicare, Social Security, entitlement programs, tax revenues, etc.
Those programs were doomed even without the problem of our greying population, and we faced the Malthusian problem eventually anyway if we were going to depend on population growth to keep them solvent.
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Old 02-17-2013, 22:52   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray_Rider View Post
I have been and am married. Lost my former wife (still the love of my life) to breast cancer after 18 months. Put at least two mountain ranges between myself and one X.

In posts like these, I always relate back to and state my 1st Incontestable Rule:

"There is no such thing as free love, easy money, or happily married."

Says everything I have ever wanted to say about the matter, and yes, you are welcome!

And the above mention of the femminist movement destroying the instutition of marriage is dead on and overwhelmingly correct in every aspect of the matter. In a marriage, women trying to be men is about is successfull as men trying to be women.

Doesn't work in the real world either, and has been a massive defeat of conventional morals, the family in general, and to society as a whole. The proof is there.

Gray_Rider
I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 02-17-2013, 22:55   #28
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Originally Posted by Gray_Rider View Post
And the above mention of the femminist movement destroying the instutition of marriage is dead on and overwhelmingly correct in every aspect of the matter. In a marriage, women trying to be men is about is successfull as men trying to be women.
The "feminist movement" isn't about "women trying to be men."

Quote:
Doesn't work in the real world either, and has been a massive defeat of conventional morals, the family in general, and to society as a whole. The proof is there.
This is almost as nutty as your rants about how slavery wasn't so bad.

About 20% of the partners at my firm are women--these are women who are earning 7+ figures, shaping strategy for the world's largest companies. Some of them are great. Some of them are absolute *****es. Some of them have families. Some don't.

Women and men aren't the same, and no feminists claim that they are. They're different. The idea is simply that women and men are both people.
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:04   #29
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I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:10   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
What is your opinion of childless married couples? HH
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:14   #31
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Marriage is hard. Very hard.

I served my wife with papers a few years ago, hit rock bottom, saw myself for who I was, and changed. We reconciled, I stopped the divorce 30 days before it was final, and we're still together.

Our marriage is not "perfect" but it is good and will last.

Marriage is hard, but it is good and I highly recommend it.
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:59   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gray_Rider View Post
I have been and am married. Lost my former wife (still the love of my life) to breast cancer after 18 months. Put at least two mountain ranges between myself and one X.

In posts like these, I always relate back to and state my 1st Incontestable Rule:

"There is no such thing as free love, easy money, or happily married."

Says everything I have ever wanted to say about the matter, and yes, you are welcome!

And the above mention of the femminist movement destroying the instutition of marriage is dead on and overwhelmingly correct in every aspect of the matter. In a marriage, women trying to be men is about is successfull as men trying to be women.

Doesn't work in the real world either, and has been a massive defeat of conventional morals, the family in general, and to society as a whole. The proof is there.

Gray_Rider
Where are women trying to be men? I see a lot of women just trying to be the best they can be. I think some men mistake that for something it isnt. Is a female doctor, business women, cop, whatever (traditional man jobs) trying to be a man or just chasing the things they want to do?

As for the "moral" problems with that, I would ask, whos morals? Do you mean some form of the Judeo-Christian construct? The tradition that gives us books replete with powerful women. Women who kill, women who lead, women who are prophets.

As an aside, sure, you can find women who are out to "prove" something. You can find plenty of men who are as well.
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Old 02-18-2013, 00:11   #33
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Cheating is not right for anyone, but one statistic now is that although more men cheat than women, the gap is narrowing, and when women do cheat, they cheat more often. It seems that cheating is the "in" thing now. It's looked at as an adventure or fantasy.

Marriage has destroyed more people than helped them from what I've seen. 34 and never been married, might not ever.
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Old 02-18-2013, 00:33   #34
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Guys have always figured. "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
I agree why spend tens of thousands on ring/dress/wedding....? Often it seems the more $$$$ spent the shorter the marriage lasting.
IF you don't think the gal is worth you making a commitment to her.... Thats on you.

IMO (esp if you have kids together) get/carry paperwork for you to have POA (medical) incase kid gets hurt when with you.
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Old 02-18-2013, 00:45   #35
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I look at my grandparents, who were married for 60 odd years until my grandfathers death, I look at my parents, who just celebrated their 25th anniversary, and I say "good for them!!"

Now me, I haven't found the right woman yet, and even when I do, I do not know if I want to get married. I enjoy my freedom (not saying I would loose that), my choice to get up and go whenever I want, not having any real commitment (irrisponsible? no), and, I like spending my money my way. I'm not here bashing marriage or women, but I have the mentality some others do here, "Why do I *have* to get married when I am perfectly content as is?"

Food for thought "marriage is the leading cause of divorce"
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Old 02-18-2013, 00:53   #36
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Originally Posted by devildog2067 View Post
The "feminist movement" isn't about "women trying to be men."
This is almost as nutty as your rants about how slavery wasn't so bad.


****Please define my "rants" about slavery and prove them wrong with historical fact. No one has yet, but that isn't for this thread. And I will take that up if invited elsewere. The facts stand for those who want to accept them.****

Cordially,
Gray_Rider

Now, on with the rest of the post concerning femminisim...


Women and men aren't the same, and no feminists claim that they are. They're different. The idea is simply that women and men are both people.
If I have to explain this, I will. Look at the divorce rates since the feminist 'MOVEMENT" got rolling. The millions of fatherless kids and kids who don't have a mom in the family per se. No reflection on women's abilities but the home and traditional marriage has been destroyed over the past 40 years. Where before that time was there a 50%+ divorce rate? Where in the recorded history of the world has there been such a role reversal of the sexes?? When before the 60's did you hear the term "latch key kids".
Women worked outside the home for decades, but their families and husbands came first. The femminist monstrosity changed that as it was meant to. I won't waste bandwith and my time debating the women's movement. Bottom line, it has been instrumental in destroying the American family, and has done that since it's inception. It touches and damages virtually every marriage I know of including my own. It helped cost me one of my marriages. The influx of its doctrines have reached into every facet of society and has done imeasurable harm. That is irrefutable.

Done with this thread.

Gray_Rider
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:11   #37
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I only had to get kicked in the head once to learn I never wanted to have anything to do with marriage again.
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:28   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
I am sorry for your loss.

Thanks KAhk. Changes your perspectives about a lot of things. She was diagnosed with CA before we were married. Lost her mother to it in the late 60's and her grandmother also a cancer vic. died by her own hand before that in the 30s because of all the impending and then ongoing agony and excruciating pain they then could do little about.

"Here's your bottle of laudnum Mrs. _______ . Go home. Take to your bed, and prepare your family for the end."

Between fits of screaming.

Poe's poem Annabel Lee sums up the way I feel about her till this day, and it is carved in part on her stone.

As I say, it changes your perspective on how you look at things. And, though I name the NAME, and I stand with General Lee's statement about that matter. My perspective is still forever changed.

Gray_Rider
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:34   #39
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Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.

This:

I couldn't add a single word other than BRAVO! The last paragraph is the clincher and is exactly what is happening.

Bravo! And a long Rebel Yell to you and your lady.

Gray_Rider
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:45   #40
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Originally Posted by stevelyn View Post
I only had to get kicked in the head once to learn I never wanted to have anything to do with marriage again.
See Gray's 1st incontestable above. If not for one thing in particular, I would have never married again either, but my hands were/are tied. No, it did not involve a child though I am a father. I didn't make the rules I am forced to comply with, and that's all I will say about that here.

As the song says.

"I'm just a man whose, circumstances, went beyond his control!"

Gray_Rider
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Old 02-18-2013, 02:05   #41
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Old 02-18-2013, 02:17   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
This, folks.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:37   #43
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You seem to be equating getting married with producing children. While that was once the case, many marriages today produce no children on purpose.

And for more than forty percent of all children born, the parents are not married. That rate is a whopping 72 percent for black women.

A bigger issue might be the differences in productivity as working adults between illegitimate children vs. children born to a married couple. Assuming they work as adults.

You seem to be equating a loss of productivity with the status of one's parents when one is born.

Maybe you meant children who grow up in single or no parent households versus those in a dual parent household.

Even then, you'd still be wrong (on productivity).

Check the statistics for just about any country in Europe, Canada, the USA, Japan, etc. Stark numbers don't lie, but your bias (clear and evident here) will always incline one away from the truth.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:40   #44
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Originally Posted by Reswob View Post
Never understood why people wanted lawyers and the state involved in their personal relationships...
And most cannot understand that a couple can marry without going to the state for a license, said license being the adhesion contract that gives the state jurisdiction.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:55   #45
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I've been married for more than a decade, closer to 2 decades. We have very intertwined lives, assets, expenses...a bunch of kids, and lots of fun hanging out together.

If your union was great and is starting to falter, it is your responsibility (each of you) to find out what is going on and address it. Not all unions are "fixable" (hard drugs, criminal activity, addictions, death, stresses, mental illness). Our joint goal is to give this our best shot.

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Old 02-18-2013, 06:55   #46
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Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
Lots of gay men never get married
Only because they are prohibited from doing so.

And when they marry, the divorce rate is much lower compared to heteros.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:37   #47
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:39   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by larry_minn View Post
Guys have always figured. "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
Marriage is about far more than sex.

Quote:
I agree why spend tens of thousands on ring/dress/wedding....?
Because it's fun? My wedding was a blast, although I didn't pay for much of it (her family insisted on doing it the "traditional" way with the bride's family paying for most of it.)
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:49   #49
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Originally Posted by Gray_Rider View Post
Please define my "rants" about slavery and prove them wrong with historical fact.
As you point out, that's not for this thread. I'll leave it at this nugget:

Quote:
Black slaves (were on the whole) treated better here than at any time in history or on any other contenient on the face of the earth including their beloved Africa.
Moving on.

Quote:
If I have to explain this, I will. Look at the divorce rates since the feminist 'MOVEMENT" got rolling.
Yes, divorce increased sharply. Why?

Because women had the ability to leave marriages, that's why.

Is that a bad thing? Sometimes, sure. But other times, the new opportunity to be able to hold a job meant being able to leave an abusive or philandering spouse. There were many, many women who stayed married because they had no other choice. Things have changed, and in some ways they have changed for the good.

Quote:
The millions of fatherless kids and kids who don't have a mom in the family
I'm divorced. My kids are not "fatherless." Parenting is harder when you're not around all the time, but it can be done.

Quote:
Women worked outside the home for decades, but their families and husbands came first. The femminist monstrosity changed that as it was meant to.
Yes, it most certainly was meant to. A woman shouldn't have to put their "families and husbands" first--they should choose to do so if they like, not be forced to.
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Done with this thread.
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Old 02-18-2013, 07:49   #50
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Main thing I'm scared about getting married is the possibility of divorce, and being screwed out of money and my things. I plan on buying a small farm at some point if i dont inherit my papaws later on down the road and I know if I did, if things went sour, she'd be trying to go after who knows what. If I lost or had to sell my land because of a divorce, things would not be pretty. Of course not every marriage ends, but rather be prepared for the worst and pray for the best.
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