Wow... I am too masculine for where I work? WTF?!?! - Page 3

Detectorist · 01-09-2013, 16:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by sharkbait22

He has every right to be pissed! I for one would not be to happy if somebody made a complaint against my persona regardless of what it is. We are individuals and have the right to be who we are. If other people have an issue with that it is their problem not his.

What planet do you live on? People's perception of you can affect your job and relationships.

Willfulone · 01-09-2013, 16:30

HR is already involved, or your boss is an complete idiot.

He would/should never have spoken to you about this type
of issue without speaking to HR first...

If he did, he has placed himself in jeopardy.

Filing a counter complaint will get you nothing, it will
be amended to the original complaint and is most often
looked at as antagonistic and defencive.

You do have a right to know who has filed the complaint.

What you cam be assured of, unless your boss is an idiot,
is that there is a written complaint against you now in your file.

Will

Huaco Kid · 01-09-2013, 16:44

I'm 5' 8" and 140 lbs. I rarely have a deep booming voice (I can if I really mean to). I am usually a VERY quiet and soft spoken person.

I've been told that I can be very intimidating with just this intense glare that I seem to produce, from time to time. I think I know what they mean but I'm not really sure. I've been told that more than a few times, even though I'm never really aware that I've done it.

el_jewapo · 01-09-2013, 16:51

You need to get out of that **** hole state you're in.

airmotive · 01-09-2013, 16:57

Two words to solve your problems: Man Purse.

Practical.
Stylish.
Tactical...yet feminizing.

SCHADENFREUDE · 01-09-2013, 17:00

I had a buddy at my old job that got told the exact same thing. He was a pretty tall guy with a deeper voice. I found it hilarious then and hilarious now. It didn't effect him professionally that I know of. It was more of a "we have to find something negative for your review" kind of thing.

Roering · 01-09-2013, 17:06

Just wear skinny jeans and sashe instead of walking.

vikingsoftpaw · 01-09-2013, 17:06

Clearly, your military bearing is having an effect on the other around you. A society of slackers is just too touchy-feely for someone that is goal oriented.

I had a neighbor that once stated she didn't care for all of the former military types at her company. She said that all they wanted to do in the morning was go to their jobs, unlike the feeling sharing sessions she was used to by all of the other chicks.

**janice6** · 01-09-2013, 17:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm

I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)

Well there is your problem. A man cannot act with confidence around that campus. It intimidates the people with no confidence and that's bad for the wimpy group, Makes them feel more inadequate.

Shame on you for feeling you can have pride in your work. An attitude like that can get you fired around paranoid liberals.

Shape up and keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye when addressing them and act like everyone is going to hit you. You will get along fine.

kenpoprofessor · 01-09-2013, 17:10

I get told I'm "scary looking" or "mean looking" all the time, but it's actually worked in my favor most times. You have the same syndrome, it's called "command presence", and people are remotely intimitated by that.

Feel for you dude, get the hell outta CA, might do you some good, personally and professionally.

Found something you can wear to make you less than what you are

Have a great gun carryin' Kenpo day

Clyde

sharkbait22 · 01-09-2013, 17:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Detectorist

What planet do you live on? People's perception of you can affect your job and relationships.

Well I may be the odd man out but I really don't care what other people think of me. I have never had a problem in my line of work. But then again I don't work in an office around a bunch of women.

nursetim · 01-09-2013, 17:44

I got the same thing in nursing school. I didn't find out that 1-2 of the instructors felt this way until I had graduated. Of course they tried to kick me out at one point. I survived and so will you. You will adapt as needed, you're human, it's what we do.

WT · 01-09-2013, 17:45

At the next company social event get up and sing "In the Navy" by the Village People. It will do wonders for your rep.

In the Navy - YouTube

gjk5 · 01-09-2013, 18:27

this thread made me LOL.

so much raw masculinity in GNG.......

FloridaGun · 01-09-2013, 18:42

Get out of that wimpy office, become a Fireman!! We don't have to deal with sissy masculine discrimination!! Depending on where you live, you might be able to be a Fireman/Paramedic, or you could just be a Paramedic if fighting fires isn't your thing.

Huaco Kid · 01-09-2013, 18:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by gjk5

this thread made me LOL.

so much raw masculinity in GNG.......

My unintended glaze is focused upon you.

I don't even know I'm doing it.

Go away, and tell your supervisor.

Write me up.

You live in the wrong state.

**Mrs. VR** · 01-09-2013, 18:53

Masculine =/= indimidating. And vice versa. (nessescarily)

DoubleWide · 01-09-2013, 19:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dennis in MA

You come across strong in person?? P'SHAW! I'd have never guessed.

Yap, complain, stomp, cry, whatever. But before, during and after that, if you are worth your salt, you'll do a double-check to see if you might resemble the person he/she was speaking about. It COULD be you. And do you really want to go through life being thought of as "that guy"???

I'm not saying you are or aren't. I don't know you or the leprechaun sitting on your shoulder in your avatar, but when I hear something negative about myself, even if I'm ADAMANT it's them, I do a pretty thorough self-check anyhow.

Definitely. Haven't you ever heard someone complain that other people think something about them and are completely wrong and you find yourself agreeing with the other people?

You can start asking people about it starting with people you know. A lot of times it's people who don't know you.

Other times, it's the mannerisms.
Walk over to their desk, hand them a task, say "This needs to be completed by tomorrow 8am" and walk away. Simple, efficient.
Change it to a "Hello. Can you to take care of this? It needs to be completed by tomorrow 8am"
Same results with a better impression with a few more words.

I've met some long term ex-military that don't realize they're not in the military and don't realize that certain things are different in the civilian world.

I'm very straight forward and some people appreciate it and sometimes it causes me problems. I was in a meeting and told them the way they were doing it was wrong and the right way to do it. Everyone got defensive and went against me. It took the entire meeting of me answering their questions about their way to get them to realize they were wrong. Maybe if I stated it differently, I could have been done in 5 minutes.

I also know I could be fired for insubordination if a higher-up takes something the wrong way. Not that I always care if I'm fired since I'm prepared for it.

***Chuck TX*** · 01-09-2013, 19:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs. VR

Masculine =/= indimidating. And vice versa. (nessescarily)

You mean like masculine = BO or something?

furioso2112 · 01-09-2013, 19:29

Consider making a point of occasionally announcing "MY BUDDIES DIDN'T DIE FACE-DOWN IN THE MUCK FOR ME TO PUT UP WITH THIS BS!!! anytime anybody mentions anything that you find even possibly challenging...such as what to order for lunch, who watched the reruns of Friends or Piers Morgan last night, etc. Of course, following it up with a hearty "HA HA HA!!! Hey, you know what I was told in supervision last week - that I INTIMIDATE people!!! Isn't that ABSURD?!? I mean, REALLY!! ARE YOU INTIMIDATED BY MEEEEEEE!?!?!?!" Then writhe on the floor, urinate on yourself and crawl out the nearest window, cackling and braying.

That'll really fix their wagon.

427 · 01-09-2013, 19:38

Have you considered a pug faced shirt for work? It might take the edge off a bit.

xDavidx · 01-09-2013, 19:57

Just show up to work in a mini skirt every now and them. Problem solved.

dryfly · 01-09-2013, 20:09

You didnt by any chance go off at work about your wifes traffic ticket that had you irate a couple weeks back did ya ???

BEER · 01-09-2013, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Willfulone

HR is already involved, or your boss is an complete idiot.

He would/should never have spoken to you about this type
of issue without speaking to HR first...

If he did, he has placed himself in jeopardy.

Filing a counter complaint will get you nothing, it will
be amended to the original complaint and is most often
looked at as antagonistic and defencive.

You do have a right to know who has filed the complaint.

What you cam be assured of, unless your boss is an idiot,
is that there is a written complaint against you now in your file.

Will

THIS is exactly how the modern American job market works, and it is exactly why Americans want so much more money for menial jobs which causes those jobs to go overseas where this bull**** is not tolerated or entertained.

6forsure · 01-09-2013, 20:15

meant to quote some one