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Old 11-02-2012, 19:20   #1
Turbodiesel
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How to Bring Her to Reality

I have a question regarding my girlfriend. I am going to a police academy in a few short weeks, and my father is a retired Law Enforcement Officer himself. I realize there are evil people in this world and we must stand ready to defend ourselves if necessary. That being said, I live in a mostly rural area. As such, whenever I try to teach my girlfriend anything about self defense or firearms she rolls her eyes as if "nothing could ever happen to her, especially HERE!" No one she's ever known has had anything bad happen to them, so how could it happen to her in our home? I just want her to be able to at least know the basics about firearms and how to use them, since they will be around the house and I would like her to know how to protect herself when I'm not around. How can I bring her to reality and get her interested in her own defense?
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Old 11-02-2012, 19:35   #2
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Turbo:

I put over 41 years as a LEO (two depts, +20 years each) and a FI for around 35 years. My wife is basically indifferent to firearms. I can get her to the range if she knows she'll be there only so long as she's comfortable and so long as she gets to shoot one of her favorite .22s (she'll shoot a 9mm Glock, but prefers the .22s).

My point is, don't force her into anything. She'll resent it and your efforts will be counterproductive. If you can find a competent instructor (not you, you're holding on to too much baggage already in regard firearms) to teach her the basics that might work.

Again, don't get too pushy on the matter or that attitude will work against you.

Best of luck.
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Old 11-02-2012, 20:01   #3
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Thank you sir...of course you always hope to hear something else, but your reasoning here (not to mention being backed up with lots of experience) certainly makes sense. I guess I'll jus have to move with the fact she may never quite understand my point of view! But that's life I guess isn't it thanks again.
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Old 11-05-2012, 12:49   #4
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Reality

Turbo - reality means different things to different people. I am often told, "nothing could ever happen here. This is a 'nice' neighborhood".

It may not work but in answer to that I often suggest doing a Google search for Dr. William Petit in Cheshire, CN.

Or, you could look up "The Knoxville Five" story.

Truth is, none of us have the ability to predict the future - if we could, we would probably not be there when something bad happens.

I keep fire extinguishers in my home and car; I keep my spare tire inflated and I carry life insurance. I know how to use the extinguisher and how to change a tire. I hope I will not have to use any but I suspect one day, I will.
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Old 11-05-2012, 14:22   #5
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My suggestion is a really dangerous and very effective. Please take a careful consideration in this.

You might want to talk with your two or three friends with a van to have a mock break-in your house while your GF is in the house. That will surely give your GF a reality call. You'll might have to deal with cops responding to this call. You'll have to pay some of $$ for few of broken windows.

I don't really think your GF will want to stay with you after all of this, lol. At least I gave you something to think about.
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Old 11-05-2012, 20:49   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock30Eric View Post
My suggestion is a really dangerous and very effective. Please take a careful consideration in this.

You might want to talk with your two or three friends with a van to have a mock break-in your house while your GF is in the house. That will surely give your GF a reality call. You'll might have to deal with cops responding to this call. You'll have to pay some of $$ for few of broken windows.

I don't really think your GF will want to stay with you after all of this, lol. At least I gave you something to think about.
Oh dear God, NO!

Please don't do this.

In all myyears on this forum, I have never heard a more shamelessly irresponsible suggestion,

Please, please don't.

Glock30Eric, please say you were kidding.
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Old 11-05-2012, 21:33   #7
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All it took for me was walking - we got some dogs and started walking around our neighborhood - by a year's end, she had seen enough to change her tune to "I don't like guns, but I'm glad you carry one.' I replied, of course, "what you mean...'one'?"
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Old 11-05-2012, 21:56   #8
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Find the hottest, hunkiest, youngest well trained firearms instructor you can find, and have him teach her while he's not wearing a shirt.
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:13   #9
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Originally Posted by uhlawpup View Post
Oh dear God, NO!

Please don't do this.

In all myyears on this forum, I have never heard a more shamelessly irresponsible suggestion,

Please, please don't.

Glock30Eric, please say you were kidding.
I won't do the suggestion I have made.
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Old 11-06-2012, 12:17   #10
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Find a female instructor!
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Old 11-06-2012, 16:23   #11
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Find out about crime in your area. Maybe if you can show her that someone in the neighborhood was broken into she'll talke it more seriously.

People in good neighborhoods are killed/broken into every day. Why would a thief want to break into a house in the ghetto?

We had a TV anchor woman raped then killed with a hammer. And an old lady had her throat cut during a breakin.

Both of them where in nice neighborhoods.

Someone mentioned Dr. William Petit. He came home and was held up by two men just released from prison. He had two underage daughters and a wife. They tied him up and beat him with a bat...raped one of the daughters and wife...then set them all on fire. The Dr. got away and the neighbor didnt even recognize him, he was beaten so bad. His whole family was killed.
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Old 11-07-2012, 18:41   #12
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Details

jp - one reason I recommend the story of the Dr. Petit is that the details reveal so much. Read the entire account and see for yourself if this is a motivator for gun ownership.

Quick summary: the two criminals saw Mrs. Petit and oldest daughter at the Walmart and decided to commit a crime; the criminals followed them home; left and got a can of gasoline, a BB gun and some tape/rope.

They returned after Midnight and found a back door unlocked; entered and found Dr. Petit asleep on the sofa. Obviously the Doctor thought the BB gun was a firearm; he was bound and thrown down the basement stairs .... Google the rest of the story as it is a grizzley case with powerful impact. Note that when the police arrived they did not immediately enter the home.

As I said, see for yourself if it offers valuable lessons.\
John
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Old 11-07-2012, 21:49   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Citroen View Post
jp - one reason I recommend the story of the Dr. Petit is that the details reveal so much. Read the entire account and see for yourself if this is a motivator for gun ownership.

Quick summary: the two criminals saw Mrs. Petit and oldest daughter at the Walmart and decided to commit a crime; the criminals followed them home; left and got a can of gasoline, a BB gun and some tape/rope.

They returned after Midnight and found a back door unlocked; entered and found Dr. Petit asleep on the sofa. Obviously the Doctor thought the BB gun was a firearm; he was bound and thrown down the basement stairs .... Google the rest of the story as it is a grizzley case with powerful impact. Note that when the police arrived they did not immediately enter the home.

As I said, see for yourself if it offers valuable lessons.\
John
Charlotte, NC
Looks like i got a few details wrong. I was going off of memory from when the case was in the news and discussed here.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:14   #14
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Old 11-14-2012, 00:50   #15
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She's in denial. It's common and there really isn't much you can do about it. The thought of "anything bad" happening to her is too scary, so she chooses to ignore it.

If you want to get her shooting you're going to have to approach it from the fun angle. Maybe a .22 or a pellet gun, popping some tin cans or something for a few minutes.
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Old 11-14-2012, 14:26   #16
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Does she have a fire extinguisher? If so, why?

There are more robberies/burglaries in the U.S. than house fires.

Even the development I live in. In 17 years three house fires requiring a fire company response. Probably 10 burglaries/break-ins minimum where the police were called in. Was burgled myself.

All the Best,
D. White

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Old 11-16-2012, 07:10   #17
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how to get your main squeeze to reality?

Not sure your version of reality is any more accurate than hers, but......

Do you have any friends with a wife or girlfriend who is prep-minded? Introduce them, let the "reality-minded" woman work on her. A lot of women can tell when you are working them, but don't really notice when another woman is.
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Old 11-17-2012, 19:34   #18
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Upstate New York? And she thinks nothing can happen to her in THIS day and age?

I have raised my family, and my daughters are now both married, but before I was 32 years old, I had been the victim of just about every crime you can think of EXCEPT murder. AND that was in the "good ol' days" when people say they didn't even lock their doors.

Tell her....it CAN happen to her. Sad to say, but true.

My poor daughters had to deal with an extremely overprotective mother and father throughout their lives, because I knew first hand what could happen!
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Old 11-20-2012, 20:48   #19
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hate to say it man but you need to get rid of her yep kick her liberal ass to the curb, you will never be happy with this woman, she is one of them, go find yourself a woman that will cook you dinner then clean your guns after, and one that will buy you weapons for gifts, and buggs you all week about taking her to the range, only then will you find what you are looking for
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Old 11-24-2012, 10:36   #20
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I went through this with my wife when we were first married. I owned several firearms and I was in the Border Patrol. Guns were a tool of the trade and a hobby. She was raised with the mentality that guns were evil and not to be talked about, and they killed people on their own.

I explained to her, that if were were going to have children together, it would be important for her to learn firearms safety because there would always be firearms in the house. That realization and watching enough "crime stories" got her to come around. Her first firearm was a two trigger double barrel shotgun.

We've been married for 13 years, and have two children. Guns are still the tool of the trade, and now she owns three handguns and has a CCL. You can't just drop it all on her at once like a ton of bricks. She needs to come to realization herself.
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Old 11-26-2012, 14:58   #21
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I like TK241's idea!! Except have him just wear a tight shirt. Don't want to teach her to shoot topless. May get burned by brass! LOL!
..and that first officer who said just to get her competent and not push. --and use a hunky good natured man to teach her
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Old 11-27-2012, 19:57   #22
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No!!! Don't get rid of her. There is hope for her! I used to be anit-HANDgun. And totally oblivious to crime even while being a single mother living with her 4 year old son in the middle of FLINT! (Flint Michigan, ever heard of it? NOT the safest place.)

You're thread is really inspiring to me. I am trying to find different ways to get girls into guns, to retrain their way of thinking like my mind has turned around. I have recently started putting videos on Youtube to help guys like yourself or girls who need to learn more about guns. I haven't gotten far nor have I done a good job in expressing what I want to say.

But like the guys said above showing her the basics, not pushing her too far WILL help, getting another girl involved will help. More than likely, a hot instructor will NOT help. LOL! Here is one of my videos to help. (There is better out there on Youtube, I'm sure.) But I will get a REAL good one for the girls with the whole, "This will NEVER happen to me because..." issue.

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Old 12-01-2012, 10:19   #23
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Originally Posted by Turbodiesel View Post
I have a question regarding my girlfriend. I am going to a police academy in a few short weeks, and my father is a retired Law Enforcement Officer himself. I realize there are evil people in this world and we must stand ready to defend ourselves if necessary. That being said, I live in a mostly rural area. As such, whenever I try to teach my girlfriend anything about self defense or firearms she rolls her eyes as if "nothing could ever happen to her, especially HERE!" No one she's ever known has had anything bad happen to them, so how could it happen to her in our home? I just want her to be able to at least know the basics about firearms and how to use them, since they will be around the house and I would like her to know how to protect herself when I'm not around. How can I bring her to reality and get her interested in her own defense?
A rural area would be the most ideal place for a sexual predator to attack. Nobody to come running for help or hear her screaming. If she refuses to really take on a defensive mindset, and go practice shooting and/or pick out a gun for herself, I'd just buy her a 38 special and tell her "here, it's there if you need it". One thing about a 38 special, you can teach someone how to use it without even making them really shoot it. So simple, load the rounds, close the cylinder, point and shoot. Or cock the hammer if you have time. Also the chance of accidental discharges with a 38 is slim to none. Still though, it would be in her own best interest to familiarize herself with firearms.

I feel your pain though, I live in a major metro area, have a wife who is terrified of guns (she grew up in a place where guns are outlawed, and only outlaws have guns, Mexico), but I more or less forced her to learn to shoot a Glock safely and efficiently. She went kicking and screaming (not literally) the whole time, but at this point I am more than confident she can handle a Glock, a 357 magnum, and/or an AR15 safely and effectively if need be.

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Old 12-01-2012, 13:48   #24
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I partially disagree with Chris Barnes. I don't think you should just had the gun over and expect her to suddenly be proficient in the second that she needs to be. Guns ARE easy to operate, once you learn. But I have had people time and again just look at a gun befuddled and nervous, and they ask, "What do I do? How do I hold it? Is there a safety? Do I just pull the trigger?" Although, I am very suspicious that Mr. Barnes didn't mean it LITERALLY, given that he is pro-teaching basics BTW, Mr. Barnes, congrats on your girl learning

Anyhoo, back to the idea of an untrained person using a gun effectively for self defense... Arming a woman (or man) without training for technique and MINDSET can be disastrous. I'd be so worried about someone disarming her and using the gun against her and who knows who else.

If she won't "go there" with guns, what about a Taser? The C2 Taser runs about $360, including case, extra barb/battery unit, and practice unit.
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Old 12-01-2012, 14:10   #25
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