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Old 10-22-2012, 14:49   #581
Navin
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Seriously folks, cutting down trees in the rain forests located near the Earth's equator results in faster planetary rotation - much the same way an ice skater spins faster when pulling their arms closer to their body. It's only a matter of time before Earth spins off its axis and we hurtle uncontrollably through space.
-Al Gore
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Old 10-22-2012, 15:46   #582
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Seriously folks, cutting down trees in the rain forests located near the Earth's equator results in faster planetary rotation - much the same way an ice skater spins faster when pulling their arms closer to their body. It's only a matter of time before Earth spins off its axis and we hurtle uncontrollably through space.
-Al Gore
The title if this thread is: MAKE UP a historical fact. . . . Not: Dumb things Al Gore actually said. . .
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Old 10-23-2012, 01:21   #583
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Seriously folks, cutting down trees in the rain forests located near the Earth's equator results in faster planetary rotation - much the same way an ice skater spins faster when pulling their arms closer to their body. It's only a matter of time before Earth spins off its axis and we hurtle uncontrollably through space.
-Al Gore
I find it interesting how a guy that claims to have researched climbing temperatures can't account for ”Global Cooling” in the 1970s. Not even the graphs he uses reflect that data. The answer back then? Sprinkle coal dust on the polar caps in order to attract more heat.

Btw, here's my made up historical fact. Years after Obama leaves the White House people have time to reflect on what type of president he was. Overwhelmingly, people decide he was the best president ever.

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Old 10-23-2012, 05:30   #584
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January 21, 2013 President Romney took the oath of office, for the president of the United States.

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Old 10-23-2012, 06:57   #585
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I find it interesting how a guy that claims to have researched climbing temperatures can't account for ”Global Cooling” in the 1970s. Not even the graphs he uses reflect that data. The answer back then? Sprinkle coal dust on the polar caps in order to attract more heat.

Btw, here's my made up historical fact. Years after Obama leaves the White House people have time to reflect on what type of president he was. Overwhelmingly, people decide he was the best president ever.
Global cooling is the effect of three phenomena

1) Solar panels sucking up the sun's energy, leaving less for heat
2) Wind farms increasing wind, thereby cooling the earth off
3) The increased use of air conditioning.
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Old 10-24-2012, 06:25   #586
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Originally Posted by Navin View Post
Seriously folks, cutting down trees in the rain forests located near the Earth's equator results in faster planetary rotation - much the same way an ice skater spins faster when pulling their arms closer to their body. It's only a matter of time before Earth spins off its axis and we hurtle uncontrollably through space.
-Al Gore



"OH MY GOD! We're gonna lose the moon!!!" - Al "let's all give the Earth an aspirin" Gore
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Old 10-24-2012, 06:39   #587
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Hyperion, formerly known as the world record holder of being the world's tallest tree, has today been stripped of its title by the United States Anti-Doping Agency due to testing positive for Miracle Grow.

The 379.1 feet tall tree, which bested the previous world record record by over 8 feet, is now going to be cut down by those two infamous Canadian loggers, Hanz and Franz, and will never been seen again except as assorted pieces of lumber on wood decks or siding.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:33   #588
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Lincoln Shot First.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:37   #589
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Lee Harvey Oswald was innocent.

Sirhan Sirhan fired a single shot from a 10mm, which, after killing RFK, travelled backwards through time to kill JFK. The bullet approached the Grassy Knoll, which is on a straight line from The Ambassador Hotel in Los Angeles to Dealey Plaza in Dallas, TX.
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Old 11-05-2012, 03:12   #590
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At the close of its annual meeting last week, Spanky, the reigning president of the "He-Man Wimmens Hater's Club," officially announced that after a closed, members only ballot and voting process, the club has for the first time in its entire, 70 plus year history allowed a woman to become a club member.

Spanky went on to note that with two certain restrictions, this first ever woman member would be afforded all the privileges that were commonly afforded to the club's other male members. According to Spanky, there will be an adjustment period, and for the time being, the new member will not be given access to the club's outhouse right away due to girls having so many cooties, but will instead have to go to the drugstore around the corner and make use of those facilities. Spanky advised that the possibilities of building a new wimmens only outhouse will be explored after carefully reviewing the dues payments received in the upcoming year. He also stated that at the present time, the newest member would not be afforded any tree fort meeting privileges in her first year as a member. Spanky said that this may change in lieu of a members' only vote held at the next annual meeting.

In a related note, Darla Mae, formerly incarcerated for a serious felony domestic violence charge, was awarded a bail reduction by Judge Judy. Judge Judy advised that Dalra Mae had never before been arrested prior to this event and therefore she was shown a little leniency.

At her initial arraignment, Darla Mae was held over without bail after the judge found out that attending Emergency Room physicians were able to briefly revive her long term husband, Alfalfa, in order to give a statement to the police.

Previously, Alfalfa had been in an induced coma state due to the severe extent of his injuries. According to Darla Mae's attorney, Buckwheat, shortly after the close of the club's annual meeting, an argument ensued at the home of Alfalfa and Darla Mae after the latter had found out that she was not the one awarded the first female membership to the club.

According to Alfalfa's statement to police today, it is believed that immediately after Alfalfa advised Darla Mae that Condoleezza Rice had been elected the newest member of the Our Gang's club and not her, a violent altercation ensued with Alfalfa being admitted toi the hospital and Darla Mae going to jail.

Dr. Ding Ling Cho, now a world famous neurosurgeon, native of Sweden, and who by happenstance was just leaving a nearby Mayo Clinic located in Texas, was called in to help. After taking over care of the patient, Dr. Cho advised that during Alfalfa's initial treatment in the emergency room, it was a nerve racking, touch and go process that initially never had a better than a 50/50 chance for survival due to the extent of Alfalfa's head injuries and subsequent brainswelling.

However, Dr. Cho stated that once he observed that the tweety birds had stopped chirping and flying around Alfalfa's head, he felt his patient had a good chance for survival and revised the odds to be better than 80/20.

As his condition improves, Alfalfa is expected to be available to possibly make a formal statement later in the week.
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Old 11-05-2012, 20:36   #591
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Hangin Chad aka Florida geezer aka Chad Elliott was found not guilty by reason of insanity following an early trial on early voting fraud.

It was determined that a 10mm may have shifted time enough that the hanging chad didn't stand a chance in this early election.

More news yesterday on this later
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Old 11-05-2012, 20:57   #592
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George W Bush was admitted into Yale University because of academic record.


Dick Cheaney is actually Mr Burns from the Simpsons
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Old 11-06-2012, 06:55   #593
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... Dick Cheaney is actually Mr Burns from the Simpsons
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Old 11-06-2012, 07:00   #594
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The Okie Corral

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Old 12-08-2012, 20:22   #595
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Obama was the first black US President.


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Old 12-08-2012, 20:30   #596
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Welcome back, oh glorious thread ye!

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Old 12-08-2012, 20:59   #597
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The world will NOT end on Dec 21 as the Mayans predicted. Instead it will fold in on itself and re-emerge with the magnetic poles reversed.

A side effect of this strange phenomena all left-handed people will be right-handed and all right-handed people will become left-handed. Thus a left-hand dominated world will reign for better or worse.

It is also rumored that Democrats will become Republicans and Republican's will become Democrats. In spite of these mirror imaging rumors it has been pointed out that Libertarian's won't change one bit. Analysis has revealed the lack of the bi-polar gene in Libertarians that will lead to reversals everywhere else.
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Old 12-09-2012, 01:55   #598
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Now that nine states have declared same-sex marriage to be legal, the next hurtle is gain equal protection for bi-polar genes.

Of course, Libertarians don't care as they have no proverbial dog in the hypothetical fight.

Which causes the largest mystery to come to our collective attention. In what verse of Proverbs is that dog?

I have, for the past few weeks, been pondering the title of a popular television program
(or, programme if'n yer English. ) The production is named Unsolved Mysteries and I cannot escape the fact that if the mystery is solved, it is no longer a mystery, thus, the title is either a tautology, redundant or just plain dumb. Or, maybe the title is so clever and subtle that not even my keen intellect can fathom its meaning.


<--- knows what 'proverb' means, joke won't work if we consider that
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:50   #599
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The democrats in the US Senate, who are soon to be republicans after the world folds in on itself and has its magnetic poles reversed, which causes the strange phenomena of also reversing all right handed to left handed, and all left handed to right handed, though not necessarily in that order, have drafted Senate bill #FU12212012, and are calling for an up or down vote before the Senate's closes for their Christmas Holiday break.

Although the bill has several "pork barrel" riders, primarily, Senate bill #FU12212012 calls for a change in terms when referring to all former right handed people. The bill, if it passes, will have all the newly left hand dominant individuals referred to as Wrong Handed, if they live in the contiguous 48 States, and anti-Right Handed, if they live in Alaska or Hawaii.

When advised of the bill, Libertarians released the following statement, "We don't really care as long as we can still call goofy-footed surfers goofy-footed."
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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 12-09-2012 at 07:54..
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Old 12-09-2012, 07:53   #600
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tous View Post
...I have, for the past few weeks, been pondering the title of a popular television program
(or, programme if'n yer English. )

The production is named Unsolved Mysteries and I cannot escape the fact that if the mystery is solved, it is no longer a mystery, thus, the title is either a tautology, redundant or just plain dumb. Or, maybe the title is so clever and subtle that not even my keen intellect can fathom its meaning. ...


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“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"It's a lot simpler to fool people than it is to convince them they've been fooled."

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 12-09-2012 at 07:53..
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