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Old 08-09-2012, 20:25   #1
Paul53
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Radar reminders.

I see these little trailers around here and there reminding people what the posted speed limit is, and what speed they are driving.

What I want to know is, how do I know if I get the high score?

Also, why do you guys talk so funny in court? "I observed the suspect traveling at a high rate of speed". Can't you just say "going like a raped ape" or just say speeding? Is it the lawyers or the cop shows that cause that?

On a serious note, as a long time ER Nurse, I've always admired the restraint that LEO's show in the face of a thankless job. Thanks for the work you do.
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Old 08-09-2012, 20:29   #2
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If you "Win" we pull out a block down, stop you, and give you an Instant Winner Ticket! And, it's the Legal Beagles that force the legaleez language.
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Old 08-09-2012, 20:34   #3
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Do you think that I don't want to say on the stand, "well, counselor, your client was so drunk he **** himself in te back of my car. The only reason he refused the test was because he kept vomiting cheap vodka in a trash can"?

No we have to speak legaleese.


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Old 08-09-2012, 20:54   #4
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Do you think that I don't want to say on the stand, "well, counselor, your client was so drunk he **** himself in te back of my car. The only reason he refused the test was because he kept vomiting cheap vodka in a trash can"?

No we have to speak legaleese.


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That may be one of the funniest things that I have read in a long time.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:03   #5
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A lot of us are trained in cop-ese. It sounds soooo much more official to say "I activated my marked vehicle's overhead-mounted emergency lighting equipment to effect an enforcement stop" instead of "I turned on my red lights and he pulled over". Once you're stopped, you exit your marked vehicle and initiate contact with the aforementoned defendant. Getting out of your car and speaking with someone just sounds, well, normal. And if you're writing a search warrant, it apparently is absolutely essential to some guys to write like a 16th century British lawyer-playwright. "Wherefore your Affiant prays the Court for issuance of a warrant...". Come on, the judge isn't going to turn you down if it says "I request that a warrant is issued.".

Be a person, not some robot who is stuck in week 1 at the academy forever.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:25   #6
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Ever examine Medicalese? It's worse than just about any 'professional speak' extant.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:29   #7
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And if you're writing a search warrant, it apparently is absolutely essential to some guys to write like a 16th century British lawyer-playwright.
That explains all those "wrong house" police blunders. The SWAT team probably has to solve riddles to read the street address from the warrant.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:46   #8
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Ever examine Medicalese? It's worse than just about any 'professional speak' extant.
Medicalese? Got me there, can I plead the 5th?

I hope you're taking my post as I meant it, humorous. If I've offended anybody, I apologize.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:52   #9
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Medicalese? Got me there, can I plead the 5th?

I hope you're taking my post as I meant it, humorous. If I've offended anybody, I apologize.
No offense taken, but most people think Sagittal is a astrologic sign.
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Old 08-09-2012, 21:59   #10
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Heck, depending on whom you are writing for at work they demand proper grammar to the extent of well placed punctuation.
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Old 08-09-2012, 22:00   #11
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The worst example of clear and concise writing I have seen was on my patent applications. I proof read one that had a single paragraph that was two pages long.

At first I corrected them. Then the lawyers kept changing them back and I learned my lesson.

I was told that writing this way made it very difficult to break them, so the lawyers said.
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Old 08-09-2012, 22:14   #12
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I always prided myself in being able to translate medical jargon into understandable terms for patients. They always do better when they understand what the doctor meant. I'm also not a "just do this" person. I find that teaching patients the why's helps them help themselves better.

I pride myself inmy writing abilities, have had a few articles published. Still, like most people, I can't comprehend the stuff lawyers write. It seems like intentional double talk to give lawyers something to argue with each other about.
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Old 08-09-2012, 23:59   #13
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^^ Perfect example of unnecessary (but required) legalese in Illinois is the "Warning to Motorist" that must be read during DUI arrest processing. We are required to read word-for-word (takes about 5 minutes) seemingly endless repeating legal text without allowing any interruptions or questions. Then I usually sum it up for the defendant in about 5 seconds... "blow in this machine in 20 minutes and your license is only suspended for 6 months. Otherwise it's a year." How it was turned into so much legal mumbo-jumbo is beyond me.
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Old 08-10-2012, 01:59   #14
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^^ Perfect example of unnecessary (but required) legalese in Illinois is the "Warning to Motorist" that must be read during DUI arrest processing. We are required to read word-for-word (takes about 5 minutes) seemingly endless repeating legal text without allowing any interruptions or questions. Then I usually sum it up for the defendant in about 5 seconds... "blow in this machine in 20 minutes and your license is only suspended for 6 months. Otherwise it's a year." How it was turned into so much legal mumbo-jumbo is beyond me.
Our DUI form has several sections I read verbatim to avoid any issues in court, however I have yet to read them and not have to restate it in normal English so the customer can understand.
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Old 08-10-2012, 06:05   #15
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Do you think that I don't want to say on the stand, "well, counselor, your client was so drunk he **** himself in te back of my car. The only reason he refused the test was because he kept vomiting cheap vodka in a trash can"?

No we have to speak legaleese.
Which part of that are e not allowed to say?

My favorite thing to do in court is directly quote the then suspect. Some attorneys freak the F out.

Officer, what made you believe my client was under the influence?

It's Deputy, and he told me, "I was drunk before I even got to the bar and I knew I shouldn't be driving. Can't you just let me walk home?" My further investigation verified this claim.
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Old 08-10-2012, 06:56   #16
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Which part of that are e not allowed to say?

My favorite thing to do in court is directly quote the then suspect. Some attorneys freak the F out.
When I was a jail medic and doing quite a bit of DWI blood draws, I used to repeatedly tell the attorney that i didn't understand his question. For no other reason than to see how many different ways he could ask the same one.....
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:25   #17
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When I was a jail medic and doing quite a bit of DWI blood draws, I used to repeatedly tell the attorney that i didn't understand his question. For no other reason than to see how many different ways he could ask the same one.....
I just thought it was because you were trying be an a-hole?
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Old 08-10-2012, 10:04   #18
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When I was the elected prosecutor in Amarillo, our Medical Examiner was a Cuban-American. He has a very thick Cuban accent. Between his accent and his "medicalese," he was almost non-understandable by West Texans. He reduced several Court Reporters to tears trying to get his testimony down correctly. He was a good guy, though, and a good Doctor.
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Old 08-10-2012, 15:01   #19
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When I was the elected prosecutor in Amarillo, our Medical Examiner was a Cuban-American. He has a very thick Cuban accent. Between his accent and his "medicalese," he was almost non-understandable by West Texans. He reduced several Court Reporters to tears trying to get his testimony down correctly. He was a good guy, though, and a good Doctor.
There used to be a couple of CHP officers here who were car partners, so they'd always appear together on their cases. One officer was from inner-city Philly and spoke fast on top of that, and the other was from the Bronx. They always wound up in front of the same judge, who was from smalltown Ohio and could hardly understand a word either of them said.
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Old 08-10-2012, 16:16   #20
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I just thought it was because you were trying be an a-hole?
You know me, I'd never act that way........
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