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Old 04-25-2010, 16:04   #3461
Glock&KimberLady
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Very much Japanese walking garden style. Awesome.
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Old 04-25-2010, 18:00   #3462
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
Love ya sweetheart:hugs :
Heya okie!! Love ya too.



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Originally Posted by Glock&KimberLady View Post
Very much Japanese walking garden style. Awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Beautiful!
Thanks GK&L & Bob. I'm trying to upload some pics now of a different part of the yard, so I'll post them a little later, unless I can go back to sleep.



Quote:
Originally Posted by faawrenchbndr View Post
Lady_Wolfe,..............

I'm daYUmn proud of you! Writing what you have, must have taken a lot of guts.
I can only imagine how hard this has been, you are a VERY stong woman and you WILL get through this.
I just hope we can meet some day,....you are an inspiration to many!

Some beautiful Georgia flowers for a beautiful "Lady of the Sand" : supergrin:
I'll just say it's much easier to write that way. I've writted documentary type stuff years ago like that and it's much easier to write from a distance, than from the inside. I still need to put the whole thing together with the added section, maybe I'll post that later too.

I don't think of myself as strong at all, but I thank you for the kind words. I definitely want to meet you someday too, my friend.
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 04-25-2010, 18:18   #3463
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Yeah, I will need that for step 2.
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Old 04-25-2010, 20:24   #3464
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Yeah, I will need that for step 2.


Oh wait, you said step 2....



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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Looks like I know where to go next winter break, when the snow is
knee (waist?) deep here.: wavey:

LW, that is a lovely yard. You stirred up a pile of questions in my head
though. A few things regarding your comfort level when you are home.

Dang Wolfe, that looks like a little sanctuary.
The rock work mixed with the plants gives everything
such beautiful structure.
Come on down!

Thank you, that yard was a LOT of work. So what questions did I stir up? Ask away...

Here's a couple more pics. The first a section in the middle of my front yard as seen from my porch.

Okie Memorial Area



This one is alongside my sidewalk and my front porch

Okie Memorial Area



This is a group shot of my Lilly bed. I may crop and pose a separate set of pics of these lillies. I have several nice pics.

Okie Memorial Area





And of course the link to hi-res for you folks not on hajji-net

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f...rd/Lillies.jpg

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f.../FrontWalk.jpg

http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/f.../HorseShoe.jpg
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RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 04-25-2010, 20:48   #3465
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Wow, very nice. Thanks for the other pictures too.
I'm impressed. Very impressed. Is there anything
you can't do?

Ok, I didn't go back through the thread, and I didn't go through
pm's. I recall you saying you aren't comfortable at home.

You have a lovely yard/garden that you have put A LOT of work
into. It looks like a very healing space. Your "real life" friends
are there. Why aren't you comfortable at home?

When you first said something, I thought "well, maybe she's gone
a lot and it's not a good space". That doesn't appear to be the case.
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Old 04-25-2010, 20:53   #3466
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Nice project you have underway, LW!
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Old 04-25-2010, 21:07   #3467
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Just stopped in to say hello. Hope you're doing well.
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Old 04-25-2010, 22:26   #3468
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Thanks 10mm. Actually it was something I did a few years ago.



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Originally Posted by Magnus2131 View Post
Just stopped in to say hello. Hope you're doing well.
Damn, it's good to see you again! I was just thinking about you today, wondering if things were OK for you. Stick around, wouldya?



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Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Wow, very nice. Thanks for the other pictures too.
I'm impressed. Very impressed. Is there anything
you can't do?

Ok, I didn't go back through the thread, and I didn't go through
pm's. I recall you saying you aren't comfortable at home.

You have a lovely yard/garden that you have put A LOT of work
into. It looks like a very healing space. Your "real life" friends
are there. Why aren't you comfortable at home?

When you first said something, I thought "well, maybe she's gone
a lot and it's not a good space". That doesn't appear to be the case.
Things I can't do... sleep at night, get rid of the nightmares and guilt, anything physical like I did before....

Oh, and I can't ride a motorcycle.................. yet.

I think the easiest way to explain it is it feels like it belongs to some else now. Itís not my world and I donít belong in it. Not only that, when I was here in January the weather was nasty. Cold and raining pretty much the whole time. Even if not for the sleep/nightmare issues my chest was *****ing almost non-stop. But the weather and the stress of travel made that worse, plus I drove, although not much. Even when I came home last summer I felt like a stranger in someone elseís life. Thatís during the time I was taking the meds Iím allergic to, so my head was already getting screwed up.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 04-26-2010, 00:47   #3469
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Me and the boys worked on our hotrods this weekend.

And SOMEBODY got a little to close and got in trouble
Love ya dear

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Old 04-26-2010, 06:38   #3470
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
...

I think the easiest way to explain it is it feels like it belongs to some else now. Itís not my world and I donít belong in it. Not only that, when I was here in January the weather was nasty. Cold and raining pretty much the whole time. Even if not for the sleep/nightmare issues my chest was *****ing almost non-stop. But the weather and the stress of travel made that worse, plus I drove, although not much. Even when I came home last summer I felt like a stranger in someone elseís life. Thatís during the time I was taking the meds Iím allergic to, so my head was already getting screwed up.
Hi LW.

I'm getting tired of these 96 hour days, but at least I've got a job. And I'm glad that you are doing better.

I'm glad that you're writing about what happened. Bob had a good idea there, so keep following up.

As for the above quote, being a stranger in someone else's life is a somewhat normal feeling after all you have been through, although the drug reaction undoubtedly made it much worse. And the lousy weather this last time home didn't help either.

Part of the feeling is due to the fact that you are not the same person that you used to be. Part is due to experiences that had no part in that other life. It is something that will work itself out given time, and will work itself out in the background as your other problems get solved.

Hopefully, this week will only have 48 hour days and I'll be back a little more often.

Love, prayers, lots of gentle , and cradling you in my arms as you sleep.

Hawk
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Old 04-26-2010, 08:05   #3471
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.....
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Old 04-26-2010, 08:53   #3472
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Hey Sweetheart! Dwarf irises for you, my sister took the pic it's close to where she lives.

Okie Memorial Area
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Old 04-26-2010, 08:56   #3473
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Lone_Wolfe you are a good woman with immeasurable tolerance for
allowing others to suggest and explain how you feel.

Ok...when you are home, at your home, is it frustration because you
look around and you aren't physically able to do the things you used
to do or is it something else? The pain, and the nightmares are part
of your life unfortunately wherever you are. (Temporarily).

I think about this fairly frequently. I believe it was Engineer1515 who
made a comment some time back about feeling the best in ones own
home. I remember that part of your reason for going back to Iraq is financial regarding paying off your house.

As your body continues to heal, you will be able to do things again.
LW, it's been four years, but I pitched wiffle balls to the dog with
a nine iron yesterday.

I'm trying to understand the differences here, ok.
Can you break it down into more pieces?
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Old 04-26-2010, 10:17   #3474
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Love ya sweetheart
Okie Memorial Area
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Old 04-26-2010, 12:09   #3475
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post





.....


Sgt Wolfe was at base in Afghanistan and needed to get to a remote base with some computer equipment she was sent to install and configure. She went to the flight line (a sandy clearing) on the morning she was supposed to fly, and waited for the choppers while BSíing with some others at the base. Finally an E-4 walks over and tells the group that one of the birds had mechanical trouble and was deadlined. The next flight was a few days out. Wolfe grumbled a few choice words and started to take her duffel bag and IBA back to the tent sheíd been staying in. A Captain walked up and asked what base Wolfe needed to go to and when she told him he said that if might be possible to send her by convoy. Wolfe explained that she was expressly prohibited from using ground trans. She thought about it for a second and decided to call her commander in Bagram and ask if it would be OK. She got permission to use a secure line and made the call. The first person she asked, the Major, said no, but she asked to speak to the Colonel and was surprised when he relented.

Wolfe reported this back to the Captain who told her to hang around and he would see if he could send the convoy. Wolfe went into the nearest tent that had a coffee pot and made some fresh coffee and waited for the word. A bit later the Cpt walks in and says itís a go. About then a few more people walk in and pour themselves some liquid ambition. Someone that Wolfe had seen but not spoken to walks up and says ďHi, Iím hitching a ride on your convoy!Ē Wolfe looks at the senior NCO and thinks heís nice looking and says ďCool! Which ĎRAP will you be riding in?Ē Greg answers ďMost likely the 2nd one, same as youĒ. Wolfe says ďEven cooler!Ē, and the 2 walk outside to the staging area to wait and yak.

The convoy team starts to assemble and the convoy commander comes over and identifies himself. While heís standing there a medic with a cigarette dangling from his mouth walks over. Greg asks if heís going to be the medic for the convoy and he says he is. Wolfe says ďWell, nice to meet you, I donít intend to need your servicesĒ The medic seems arrogant and says ďGood, I only slept 3 hours last night and I donít want to do ****!Ē as he walks off. The convoy commander says that heís a real jerk, but by far the best medic in the unit, and has had a lot of training beyond what the Army provides.

Sgt Wolfe, Greg, and another E-6 get more coffee and go hang around by Wolfeís equipment waiting as the convoy crew readies the vehicles. A couple soldiers come for Wolfeís 2 cases of equipment and she asks for them to be put on the same vehicle that sheíll be in. Theyíre not big and the vehicles will be mostly empty so thatís easily accommodated. Finally the convoy commander calls the safety briefing, then tells us weíll be mounting up in about a half hour. Wolfe goes and gets a sandwich, then itís time to mount up and roll.

The E-6 that had been talking to Greg and Wolfe bids them a good trip and goes off to do his thing, and everyone climbs in and the convoy rolls out. Wolfe and Greg are in the 2nd of 3 MRAPís and the sit next to each other in the mostly empty vehicle BSíing and talking like old friends. Itís a bumpy ride over dirt roads that were planned by goat farmers. The first couple hours of the trip are uneventful.

All of a sudden a loud explosion rocks the 2nd MRAP and it stops. The vehicle design did its job well and no one inside was hurt, although some ears may have been singed by the cloud of cuss words that formed inside. After everyone calmed down and determined that no one was hurt Wolfe and Greg congratulated each other on the rich vocabularies each used when referring to the citizens of Afghanistan. The driver tried unsuccessfully to get the MRAP moving again, and the convoy commander radio that info to the other vehicles. The gunners up top kept watch but couldnít see anyone around, then the convoy commander ordered the guard force (grunts) to get out and form a perimeter around the vehicles. Instructions were radioed back and forth, then the convoy commander explained to Wolfe and Greg that on his command they were to run to a group of large rocks between the 2 vehicles, then wait for the command to run to the 3rd vehicle and get in.

They both locked and loaded, Greg his pistol, Wolfe her rifle, and ran when told to do so. Greg went 1st, Wolfe a few feet behind. Unknown to anyone there were 2 Afghanis behind some rocks behind the 3rd MRAP, about 50 or so feet from where Greg and Wolfe were running. They both jumped up from behind the cover and opened fire in the direction of the 2 people running. Greg dove behind the rocks, but Wolfe was hit center of the chest by a round in the 1st volley. She was slammed backward and spun around by the force of impact and landed facing back toward the vehicle she had just left. The soldiers on guard and the gunners opened fire and plenty of bullets were traded. Wolfe lost consciousness after about half a minute.


This part I had to piece together based on what Iíve been told by several people. The times may be a little off, but everything else is correct.
Shortly after Wolfe was hit a 3rd Afghani started shooting from a position off to the side between the 2nd and 3rd MRAPs. He was closer to Wolfe and Gregís location than the 1st 2 shooters and she had fallen out in the open. The fighting went on for another minute or so, and the 1st 2 shooters were eliminated, but the 3rd was staying down enough of the time that the gunners couldnít take him out. The convoy commander had already stopped the medic from trying to get to Wolfe because he believed she couldnít be helped. In spite of being close to the remaining Afghani, Greg decided to break cover and try to get to Wolfe to drag her back behind cover so the medic could try to save her. He ran toward her and the remaining shooter opened fire, hitting him several times. He went down and died before anyone could get to him. In shooting Greg the Afghani exposed enough of himself that the soldiers were able to kill him. As soon as the convoy commander declared the threat neutralized the medic ran to Greg, realized he was already gone, then ran to Wolfe and got busy.

OK, now back to what I remember.
Wolfe woke up after about a week, maybe a bit more and was told she was in Germany. Because of her injury she was kept heavily sedated to the point she didnít even try to move and her memory of the 1st month or so in the hospital is hazy and spotty at best. She doesnít remember when she heard that SOMEONE died on the mission, but was told about 2 weeks after waking up that it had been Greg. She asked the person who told her that he had died how it happened and was told an untrue story that she suspected even then was false. She didnít find out the truth until a couple months later.
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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Old 04-26-2010, 12:56   #3476
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Thanks, Wolfe.


Tonight's knock-out, right? Keep reading step #1 until then.

You'll have step 2 waiting for you in the morning.


Please no comments about details or feelings still, folks.
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Old 04-26-2010, 13:26   #3477
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Wolfe and Greg are in the 2nd of 3 MRAPís and the sit next to each other in the mostly empty vehicle BSíing and talking like old friends. Itís a bumpy ride over dirt roads that were planned by goat farmers. The first couple hours of the trip are uneventful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wSo3...eature=related
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Old 04-26-2010, 14:10   #3478
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobInTX View Post
Can't load the video on my slow-ass connection...



Quote:
Originally Posted by okie View Post
Love ya sweetheart:smootchie :: hugs:: hearts:
Okie Memorial Area
Awwwww, too cute!

Mandy is sooooooooo jealous!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Geeorge View Post
Me and the boys worked on our hotrods this weekend.

And SOMEBODY got a little to close and got in trouble
Love ya dear: wavey:

And what? You didnh't get a pic of walking trouble?

back at ya, dear



Quote:
Originally Posted by sawgrass View Post
Lone_Wolfe you are a good woman with immeasurable tolerance for
allowing others to suggest and explain how you feel.

Ok...when you are home, at your home, is it frustration because you
look around and you aren't physically able to do the things you used
to do or is it something else? The pain, and the nightmares are part
of your life unfortunately wherever you are. (Temporarily).

I think about this fairly frequently. I believe it was Engineer1515 who
made a comment some time back about feeling the best in ones own
home. I remember that part of your reason for going back to Iraq is financial regarding paying off your house.

As your body continues to heal, you will be able to do things again.
LW, it's been four years, but I pitched wiffle balls to the dog with
a nine iron yesterday.

I'm trying to understand the differences here, ok.
Can you break it down into more pieces?
Hey give Hawk credit for even wanting to try after the times Iíve ripped his face off in the past. Heís actually got at least a big part of this particular problem figured out. The physical part doesnít help either, not being able to do what I used to do bothers me no matter where I am, but knowing I have 2 motorcycles in storages chaps my ass pretty good. In that sense I was glad it was too cold to ride because I tried last summer and all I accomplished was falling and hurting myself worse.

When I was going home in January one of the things my shrink said would do me good was to stay for a while someplace unfamiliar. Thatís what I did when I was in Phoenix, I picked a hotel Iíd never been in that was in Tempe. Iíve always stayed in Peoria or Glendale area before. When I was there I didnít have the feeling of being in someone elseís life because it was new to me. I did feel a lot worse once I flew to my house, but part of that also had to be the fact that by the time I flew I hadnít slept in a week. I know paying off my house if I stay here long enough was one of the bonuses to staying here, the main reason Iím here is for the medical care. Even if I do pay it off I may never want to live there again, I just donít know. Iím not going to make any decisions soon, but I may sell the place eventually.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Hawk View Post
Hi LW. : wavey:

I'm getting tired of these 96 hour days, but at least I've got a job. And I'm glad that you are doing better.

I'm glad that you're writing about what happened. Bob had a good idea there, so keep following up.

As for the above quote, being a stranger in someone else's life is a somewhat normal feeling after all you have been through, although the drug reaction undoubtedly made it much worse. And the lousy weather this last time home didn't help either.

Part of the feeling is due to the fact that you are not the same person that you used to be. Part is due to experiences that had no part in that other life. It is something that will work itself out given time, and will work itself out in the background as your other problems get solved.

Hopefully, this week will only have 48 hour days and I'll be back a little more often.

Love, prayers, lots of gentle : hugs:, and cradling you in my arms as you sleep.

Hawk
Hi there, glad you made it back. I was about to sent the Ohio and WV GTíers here out looking for you. Actually Iím going to tell them to rescue you from that evil boss of yours..

Iím doing about the same as Iíve been, still no progress on the nightmares except that for the last few weeks the subject matter and clarity of them has been changing a little. Iíve noticed it starting yesterday and getting stronger today that I donít really feel like talking about anything substantial, so Iíve been doing a lot of ďchattingĒ.

I think you hit the nail on the head about me being a different person now than I was. That was one of the first things I was told even while I was still in the hospital is that I would look at things differently now, not only because of the experience and the PTSD, but because of having almost died that would change me a lot over time. I still never would have expected it to be that wrong to walk back into my life in a house Iíve owned for 20 years. That leaves the drug reaction to have made it as bad as it is, I guess. Good weather last summer and nasty weather in January, I found the good weather didnít seem to have any positive effect. I really donít know how Iíll handle it down the road.

Thanks for coming by. : hugs:

Nite everyone....
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To those who have made the ultimate sacrifice while defending American freedom, you will not be forgotten.

RIP my friends Greg and Florence, see you again on the other side.
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RIP Jeff (23Skidoo) - 1962-2012 and Gloria (Silent_Runner) - 1964-2013
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Old 04-26-2010, 14:23   #3479
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lone_Wolfe View Post
Can't load the video on my slow-ass connection...

It was just a video of the MRAP. You already know what they look like. I posted it for everyone else.

Iím doing about the same as Iíve been, still no progress on the nightmares except that for the last few weeks the subject matter and clarity of them has been changing a little. Iíve noticed it starting yesterday and getting stronger today that I donít really feel like talking about anything substantial, so Iíve been doing a lot of ďchattingĒ. Gee, I wonder why?

Nite everyone....
Goodnight, friend.
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Old 04-26-2010, 15:32   #3480
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I hope you feel rested.

Hey, I give Hawk, Bob and anyone else here all the credit in the world.
Everyone has the same goal, and that is to help you.

I do think you are tolerant though. When the claws come out, it means
you are still alive, and able to feel.
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