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Old 09-02-2013, 10:26   #1
banjobob
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my parents hurt my feelings last night

I'm going to be the first to say I sound very ungrateful and probably am.

My 40th B-day was yesterday. My parents met my wife and I for dinner and at the last minute my brother and niece came along (sister in law was too tired). My brother gave me $40 and my parents gave me $200. Pretty good huh?

The part were I was hurt was for my brother's 40th a few years back I remember my dad telling me how special this was, a big deal and wanted to get my brother something to remember. He got a Colt AR15, which i hope he will treasure forever.

I guess I had my hopes up of getting something special, something to remember, and something to cherish as a special gift from my parents on one of life's milestones, I got $200 cash.

Its not the money, my wife and I make a lot of money and a $1500 rifle or gift would make no difference in our lives, its hurt I feel that my brother's 40th was a day to recognize, plan for, consult with family members on what would make it memorable, mine was no big deal.

On our 18th B-Days my Dad bought my brother and I Colt Gold Cups. Its one of my most treasured processions, one of only 2 guns I own that are not for sale (my brother sold his a few years ago) I guess I was hoping for a third gun or something else that I could add to the list of "Not for Sale"

I keep telling myself my gift was my parents are both healthy and were able to join me for my 40th. Several friends did not get to celebrate their 20th, 30th or 40th with their parents still alive and that should be my gift.

My parents and I have a good relationship. My wife and I always spend our vacation with them. We all leave for a 2 week vacation to Austria and Switzerland next week.

Its amazing that at age 40 both my brother are successful happy men with families and yet that childhood "mom and dad loves me best" rivalry is present.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:30   #2
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I am guessing you don't have children.

Be thankful for what you have, and get over whatever jealousy thing there is regarding your brother ; maybe your dad does like him better...but so what?

You're not gonna change it if that's the case, it's pretty much cast at this point, since you guys are both 40 +.....

Be thankful you have your folks, that you are on speaking terms with them, that you get to spend a bit of time with them, and everyone is in relatively good health....
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:31   #3
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Well happy birthday in any case.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:31   #4
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IMHO, remember you are blessed that your parents are still with you to celebrate your birthday, and cherish the time you have with them.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:33   #5
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Happy birthday.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:41   #6
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Happy birthday.
This

Feel lucky, My mom is dead and I have no idea what my father is up to and I'm just a few years older than you.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:42   #7
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The fact that you posted the story online explains quite a bit.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:44   #8
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I wish I could still have dinner with my parents.
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Old 09-02-2013, 20:40   #9
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The fact that you posted the story online explains quite a bit.
Oh Flipper for the love of God we agree on something.


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Old 09-03-2013, 07:26   #10
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The fact that you posted the story online explains quite a bit.
This..........
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Old 09-08-2013, 09:09   #11
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Originally Posted by FLIPPER 348 View Post
The fact that you posted the story online explains quite a bit.
the fact that I agree with this guy means even more.. .
You could maybe ask your therapist about it but I would not speak to mom and dad it would only look petty and ungrateful... And push your feelings on to them which they do not deserve they did provide you with a gift .

Hope you had a happy 40th..


Edited to add: I don't think people from your parents generation understand hurt feelings reports very well.
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Old 09-08-2013, 22:55   #12
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This

Feel lucky, My mom is dead and I have no idea what my father is up to and I'm just a few years older than you.
Same here.
I'm 41 and my mother passed away seven years ago and I "do not" associate with my father. Be very appreciative of who you have, not what you have.
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Old 09-09-2013, 10:01   #13
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IMHO, remember you are blessed that your parents are still with you to celebrate your birthday, and cherish the time you have with them.
Be happy they are still with you.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:35   #14
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He said been busy keeping the kids and wife happy, did you miss that? Probably time for you to turn off pretty woman and wipe the ********* tears from your eyes, you might be able to read better ahole.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:37   #15
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40 years old is too old for you to be feeling such petty bull****. Be happy you have parents that are alive and want to spend time with you. How about you give your Dad a nice gun and a hug and tell him you love him. Hurt feelings.....be glad you are not having to tell them to a couple of gravestones!!
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:15   #16
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40 years old is too old for you to be feeling such petty bull****. Be happy you have parents that are alive and want to spend time with you. How about you give your Dad a nice gun and a hug and tell him you love him. Hurt feelings.....be glad you are not having to tell them to a couple of gravestones!!
You are absolutely right. Thanks

PS I Gave my dad a Browning hipower for his 75th.
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:27   #17
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PS I Gave my dad a Browning hipower for his 75th.
Well now that's different! You didn't tell that to begin with!

I sure everyone's opinion will change now!


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He said been busy keeping the kids and wife happy, did you miss that? Probably time for you to turn off pretty woman and wipe the ********* tears from your eyes, you might be able to read better ahole.
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Old 09-02-2013, 11:40   #18
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You are spoiled. For my 40th I didn't want anything from anybody. My father passed away the year before during my birthday week, mom doesn't have much money, my brother has a sick daughter, and my wife has no need to work and has no money besides what I give her.

So I saved and bought myself a two week vacation to Italy. My actual birthday I spent in rainy Florence.

Gold Cups and the like...wow it must be nice.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:04   #19
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You are absolutely right. Thanks

PS I Gave my dad a Browning hipower for his 75th.
Yeah, but he may have resented your giving it to him loaded and telling him to take it behind the barn! J/K

Maybe your folks were in a better financial situation when they celebrated your brother's 40th birthday. There are things I've done more for one of my children over another only because I was in a better financial position to be more generous at the time.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:08   #20
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You are absolutely right. Thanks

PS I Gave my dad a Browning hipower for his 75th.

You got style....
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Old 09-02-2013, 15:54   #21
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When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11

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Old 09-04-2013, 20:05   #22
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Both of my parents passed away when I was 30. Do you know what I'd give to have one more dinner with them? Stop your whining and grow a set, you're not seven anymore.
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:39   #23
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That does sound ungrateful.

You say you make a lot of money. I wouldn't spend $1500 to make no difference in someone's life.

Last edited by hpracing007; 09-02-2013 at 10:41..
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Old 09-02-2013, 10:50   #24
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As someone who has neither parent I can say you sound ungrateful and it was also a bit inconsiderate of your parents to show such thoughtfulness for your brother but just hand you cash.

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Old 09-02-2013, 10:52   #25
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Maybe you parents finances have changed since they bought your brother the rifle.

Use the $200 toward the purchase of an ar15 ,you should be able to cover the rest since you and your wife make "ALOT" of money.

Or you could ask you brother to sell his to you.

And no grown siblings I know give each other money for their birthdays, they either give them something that has a meaning to it or nothing at all
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