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Old 02-17-2013, 15:02   #1
Kurly
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Why Men Don't Want to Marry Nowadays

As some of you know, I went through a brief marriage that cost me an inordinate amount of money for the time we were together and a huge amount of emotional regret/grief. I ran across a couple of websites that truly typifies why marriage is rapidly becoming a losing proposition for at least 1/2 of men today.

The first is a Youtube video that has some great gov't data research and explanation of how feminism has destroyed marriage and why no sane man should enter it without some SERIOUS consideration and legal protection should they do so.


Here's an article from a FEMALE on why men don't want to marry nowadays:

http://www.thefemininewoman.com/2010...want-to-marry/

Lastly, Pew Research did a study on the growing number of women who believe a successful marriage is the most important thing in their lives and the figures are rapidly growing, while men are almost inversely choosing the opposite:

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/you...-women-anymore

For those ladies who frequent GT, I'd be interested in hearing your opinions and mothers/fathers, what you're doing to change this perspective for not only your daughters but your sons as well.

With the declining birth rate, our nation is faced with a HUGE demographic issue that will directly affect Medicare, Social Security, entitlement programs, tax revenues, etc. This will not end well for us in retirement if there aren't enough able-body young people working to put into the system.

P.S. Here's a great Tom Leykis Youtube of arguing many of the above points with an illogical/feminist woman:


P.S.S. Found a few more interesting stories -- written by women no less that substantiate my argument that marriage can be a huge pitfall for unsuspecting men

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ntingPage=true

From the Huffington Post of all places:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-...b_2341955.html

The hypocrisy of a woman divorcing a man because of low sex drive...how many women would state that if their man loved her, they'd "accept" her for who she is?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cathy-...rce&ir=Divorce

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/laura-...b_2147499.html

http://www.singularity2050.com/2010/...ry-bubble.html

Last edited by Kurly; 02-20-2013 at 18:02.. Reason: Added more links
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:14   #2
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Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor, so I'll watch but not play in this one.
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:18   #3
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Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor, so I'll watch but not play in this one.
Same here. Nothing's funnier than a good divorce thread. HH
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:21   #4
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Child support imposed on the father only goes up over time.
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Old 02-17-2013, 22:45   #5
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Child support imposed on the father only goes up over time.
Same is true of child support imposed on the mother... and this is coming from a guy that pays $25k a year in child support to a woman who hasn't had a job in 10 years.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:23   #6
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Originally Posted by devildog2067 View Post
Same is true of child support imposed on the mother... and this is coming from a guy that pays $25k a year in child support to a woman who hasn't had a job in 10 years.
Sounds more like alimony. Does she spend the money on your kids, or do you end up buying them shoes/clothes/ other necessities when they are with you?

I have a couple friends doing this now (paying CS that ends up being misspent).
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Old 02-18-2013, 19:19   #7
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Same is true of child support imposed on the mother... and this is coming from a guy that pays $25k a year in child support to a woman who hasn't had a job in 10 years.
It is funny how when you get a good paying job your support goes up the first check but when you lose a job it takes six to nine months to get an adjustment hearing. Moral to the story: Never marry a local .GOV official. Ugh!

I feel your pain and commend you for hanging in there ... thirty six years here (17 + 19). I know it has been tough for me but I only have ninety-four days left to go.

I really thought the space rock was going to get me, I am on death watch after that last payment.
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Old 02-25-2013, 16:00   #8
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Child support imposed on the father only goes up over time.
I'm paying over $3000 a month right now, and I get to see my kids three or four times a year.

We divorced when they were 8 and 10. And, it's not even tax deductible.

But, they were the only good thing that came out of my marriage and they are worth every penny.
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:21   #9
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I have no interest in getting married. I'm not much on companionship and I like to keep all the things I own. I know too many people who have got screwed out of a lot of stuff. I'm sorry if that sounds one sided to you, but if one party in the relationship brings in 2/3-3/4 of the income why should the the other party get 1/2 of everything upon the ending of the relationship.
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:33   #10
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First marriage lasted 3 months and cost me $10K to get out of. Got a better education for the money than I could have gotten at Harvard.

Got a keeper now.

If this one ends I won't be doing it again.

All the Best,
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Old 02-17-2013, 15:52   #11
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On my second marriage. First lasted 3 years but not all that time was good or even fair.
My wife (the second) and I just had a anniversary, 34 years and going good.
Takes two to make a marriage but only one to kill it.
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Old 02-17-2013, 16:01   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurly View Post
With the declining birth rate, our nation is faced with a HUGE demographic issue that will directly affect Medicare, Social Security, entitlement programs, tax revenues, etc. This will not end well for us in retirement if there aren't enough able-body young people working to put into the system.
You seem to be equating getting married with producing children. While that was once the case, many marriages today produce no children on purpose.

And for more than forty percent of all children born, the parents are not married. That rate is a whopping 72 percent for black women.

A bigger issue might be the differences in productivity as working adults between illegitimate children vs. children born to a married couple. Assuming they work as adults.
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Old 02-18-2013, 06:37   #13
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Originally Posted by SpectreRider View Post
You seem to be equating getting married with producing children. While that was once the case, many marriages today produce no children on purpose.

And for more than forty percent of all children born, the parents are not married. That rate is a whopping 72 percent for black women.

A bigger issue might be the differences in productivity as working adults between illegitimate children vs. children born to a married couple. Assuming they work as adults.

You seem to be equating a loss of productivity with the status of one's parents when one is born.

Maybe you meant children who grow up in single or no parent households versus those in a dual parent household.

Even then, you'd still be wrong (on productivity).

Check the statistics for just about any country in Europe, Canada, the USA, Japan, etc. Stark numbers don't lie, but your bias (clear and evident here) will always incline one away from the truth.
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Old 02-17-2013, 16:17   #14
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Never been married,not getting married. Period. No I am not bitter and have never been screwed over by a woman. I just don't see the sense.

I have a woman I live with. By all rights she is my wife. We have no legal paperwork but do have an agreement and a promise. We live by two rules. We stay together because we want to and we don't cheat on each other. If either one of us wants to leave the relationship we will make arrangements to separate. If one of cheats the same thing happens. We have a child together that I will support and love til the day I die. However if being with her mother is painful every day,I will move on. Life is too short to live unhappily.

We split the bills and keep all other bills separate. She takes care of the mortgage and I take care of all the other household bills. Most months it comes out close to even but like now in the winter I come out ahead (lower power bill). She owns her car and will always be responsible for her transportation. I do the same. We each have our own saving accounts and retirement plans. Really the only financial disadvantage for me is that although I pay for part of a house I will never be entitled to any equity. Unfortunately she never has had a equity and is lucky not to be severely upside down her house. So I am literally a decade away from equity.
And if I live her forever, equity will not be a concern.

Someday she will wear a diamond ring on her left hand that I give her. I offered to buy her one multiple times but instead she chose to buy a boat and go on vacation multiple times.

These decisions lead me to believe that she is a keeper. Only time will tell. I will never cheat and I don't believe she will. Things aren't perfect but I am happy to see after work each day and still wanna wake up laying beside her in the morning. She appears to feel the same way. If these things change i will move on. Period.
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Old 02-17-2013, 22:48   #15
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Never been married,not getting married. Period. No I am not bitter and have never been screwed over by a woman. I just don't see the sense.
I had a fairly ugly divorce with a woman who is still costing me a lot of money--and I'm not talking about child support. It's been 7 years and I still have to spend at least a few thousand a year on my lawyer.

I'm happily married now to a wonderful woman, and the "sense" is that being married to the right person is amazing.
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:04   #16
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I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
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Last edited by Kingarthurhk; 02-17-2013 at 23:08..
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:10   #17
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The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
What is your opinion of childless married couples? HH
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Old 02-18-2013, 10:18   #18
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What is your opinion of childless married couples? HH
If you want children, adopt. There are a lot of orphans that need homes.
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:34   #19
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Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.

This:

I couldn't add a single word other than BRAVO! The last paragraph is the clincher and is exactly what is happening.

Bravo! And a long Rebel Yell to you and your lady.

Gray_Rider
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Old 02-18-2013, 02:17   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk View Post
I am married for life. Creeping up on year 14. I don't ever plan on straying. She was pretty clear that if I did, I would be nailed for alimony and child support. She definately subscribes to the theory, "It's cheaper to keep her."

But, I have no genuine complaints. She takes good care of me. Also, I treat her like a woman, rather than a pest, or an annoyance, or any other such thing.

I am big into the the traditional family. You take care of your lady, you treat her right, and provide the best you can for your family. That is what a man and a father should be.

I have never raised a hand to her, and I never will. I despise any man who would ever raise a hand to to their lady. They have a vulnerability when the give themselves fully to a husband and a family, and that needs to be respected.

All healthy marriages are going to have disagreements and arguments. A husband should know when to stand strong on a principle and when to compromise.

When you have children it changes everything. They are both a joy and a stress.

You know you have to attend to their needs, for which they are not always understanding or greatful. As a father, you are stuck often with being the disciplinarian, because the children become too familiar with their mother to often respect her as they should.

First they start off as vulnerable little babies. The first one is a shock, and something new to figure out all the time, but a joy.

Then they go through stages, potty training, learning the word "No!" and not being able to find a proper boundary for it.

Then they go off to school and start growing like weeds. It is fun when they can read on their own.

As a father you have to temper discipline with mercy and love. A lot of humor helps.

You'll make mistakes. All parents do. You remember the ones your parents made, and try to avoid them, only to make new ones.

The key building block, no matter what the Liberals, the lame stream media, and the incolcation of Liberal Institutions say, is the family unit.

Everything starts for the upcomming generation in the family unit. If you destroy that, you destroy your society.
This, folks.
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Old 02-17-2013, 23:14   #21
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Marriage is hard. Very hard.

I served my wife with papers a few years ago, hit rock bottom, saw myself for who I was, and changed. We reconciled, I stopped the divorce 30 days before it was final, and we're still together.

Our marriage is not "perfect" but it is good and will last.

Marriage is hard, but it is good and I highly recommend it.
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Old 02-17-2013, 16:18   #22
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Lots of gay men never get married
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Old 02-17-2013, 16:29   #23
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Lots of gay men never get married

I think I might get married eventually, but only after living with her for at least ten years, in a situation like skinny's. But I don't know, only time will tell. I'm not in some huge rush though.
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Old 02-17-2013, 17:14   #24
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I think I might get married eventually, but only after living with her for at least ten years, in a situation like skinny's. But I don't know, only time will tell. I'm not in some huge rush though.
Check out common law marriage statues in your state.
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Old 02-18-2013, 15:25   #25
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Check out common law marriage statues in your state.
Only 9 states still have common law marriage, and they all require mutual intent to become married, and that you are believed in the community to be husband and wife. Several of those 9 only recognize common law marriage posthumously, for the purposes of inheritance. Contrary to popular belief, the girlfriend can't just claim to be in a common law marriage without the man's consent, and them both introducing themselves to everyone as husband and wife.

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