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Old 01-24-2013, 08:11   #1
ysr_racer
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Are we raising a culture of losers? (no pictures)

Lately I'm seeing lots of twenty-something year olds that can't function without their parents.

I work with a woman that has a 21 year old daughter (sorry no pictures). They must talk on the phone 10 times a day. The mom is here in CA with me, the daughter goes to school in Flagstaff.

The other day the daughter calls the mom and tells her, the gloves she has aren't warm enough. How do I know what the call was about?

Because I hear the mom say, "I'll go to REI after work, buy you gloves and FedEx them to you. You should have them tomorrow".

What the hell is going on in America? When I was that age, if I told my parents my hands were cold, they would say "go buy warmer gloves".

So here are ysr_racer's rules for being a loser. If any of the following apply to you, guess what, loooooser !!

Your mom makes your meals
Your mom does your laundry
Your mom is your best friend
You still live at home
You talk to your mom every day

America is in sad shape.

I'm wondering if this is the reason we see so many mass shootings by 20 year old kids, they can't function in the real world.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:15   #2
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Yes, we are raising a generation of complete losers. WWII years saw the emergence of the greatest generation. We have now succeeded in raising the worst generation ever, courtesy of the flower-power generation.
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Old 01-24-2013, 10:26   #3
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Yes, we are raising a generation of complete losers. WWII years saw the emergence of the greatest generation. We have now succeeded in raising the worst generation ever, courtesy of the flower-power generation.
Yep, that's about it.
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Old 01-24-2013, 11:00   #4
Dennis in MA
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Yes, we are raising a generation of complete losers. WWII years saw the emergence of the greatest generation. We have now succeeded in raising the worst generation ever, courtesy of the flower-power generation.
WWII didn't make them that generation, the Depression did. They weren't great, they were molded that way by a society that didn't hand them squat.

You get what you "pay" for. Most of these 20-somethings spent the majority of their years with a Republican controlled White House and a ton of developmental years with a Republican majority in Congress. They ALSO were born into the greatest economic boon (the 90's) we had ever seen and assume it's a birthright thing.
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Old 01-25-2013, 20:53   #5
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Yes, we are raising a generation of complete losers. WWII years saw the emergence of the greatest generation. We have now succeeded in raising the worst generation ever, courtesy of the flower-power generation.
I think you are looking at it all wrong. Look at rich people..they can live in a mansion and have servants serve them all even when they are adults. Look at the tv show, Dallas.. Just because she gets help from her mom does not make her a "loser". Maybe she is an "only child" etc.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:17   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ysr_racer View Post
....

So here are ysr_racer's rules for being a loser. If any of the following apply to you, guess what, loooooser !!

Your mom makes your meals
Your mom does your laundry
Your mom is your best friend
You still live at home
You talk to your mom every day

America is in sad shape.

I'm wondering if this is the reason we see so many mass shooting by 20 year old kids, they can't function in the real world.
I am safe. If I talk to my mom once every two weeks I'd be surprised. If I see her more than once a month it must be a holiday.

But I know the type. My sister is a loser. She and her husband rely on my parents for quite a bit. Taking her kids to the doctor/dentist, to babysit them all weekend. To fix them lunch and dinner on the weekends. Drives me nuts. Glad I live 2 hours away.

BUT you need to look at from the other POV. It could be the parents not letting the kids grow up and always there to pander them and give them what they need. If they aren't pushed out of the nest, how do they learn to fly?
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:17   #7
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I hear stories of parents going to their child's job interviews with them.
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:10   #8
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I hear stories of parents going to their child's job interviews with them.
My son just finished training to be an electrical lineman (VOLTA training in Oregon). He told me that when he attended the preparation meetings, he was the only one there who attended without their mother, and the only participant to actually ask any questions himself.
The good news is - he graduated #1 in his class, and has a good job just a few weeks later!
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:35   #9
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My son just finished training to be an electrical lineman (VOLTA training in Oregon). He told me that when he attended the preparation meetings, he was the only one there who attended without their mother, and the only participant to actually ask any questions himself.
The good news is - he graduated #1 in his class, and has a good job just a few weeks later!
If someonne showed up with there mom in tow its hard too fathom the interview would even think about giving him a job.
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:40   #10
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I work with one that is 25 and he literally couldn't go get his own birdseed for the feeder in his front yard. Well not really his yard. His parents own the house.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:18   #11
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Completely agree.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:23   #12
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Codependency. That's what that is called.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:28   #13
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.

Things will be ok, OP.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:32   #14
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You have to look no further than your television set to see plenty of examples of this. Just the other day I saw Katie Couric interviewing that dip**** Teo Tio or whatever his name is who said his girlfriend died when he didn't even have the girlfriend and she she as hell wasn't dead. I don't think he said a word. His dad did all the talking.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:41   #15
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Helicopter parents => always hovering => From a 1969 bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager by Dr. H. Ginott

It really got going in daily usage about 2000 or so.

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Old 01-24-2013, 11:18   #16
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Helicopter parents => always hovering
Like General McArthur's mom, who moved into a hotel near West Point to be near her boy when he went to Hudson High?

"Helicopter parents" aren't new. What's new is cell phones and Facebook.
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Old 01-24-2013, 11:26   #17
Dennis in MA
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Like General McArthur's mom, who moved into a hotel near West Point to be near her boy when he went to Hudson High?

"Helicopter parents" aren't new. What's new is cell phones and Facebook.
Gee, I'm not so sure. Do you have kids??? Parents are definitely helicoptering much more than 30 years ago. Some of it is being a good parent. Some of it is trying to get the best (classes, playtime, memories, etc.,) for their children. Then they FORGET to stop that at some point.

I don't recall parents that helicoptered when I was a kid. I just don't. But I see it a lot now. And I see it a lot in CLIENTS who have children 20-35. The one with the 50'somethings is the exception and is a testament more to his wife's selfishness and his desire to be the center of the universe - ergo he has not stopped "nurturing" them. (Wife passed about 12 years ago.)
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:10   #18
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It all starts at an early age, maybe 6 years old, when they are given their own cell phone so that they can call mommy whenever they have a problem. I can't believe how many phone calls my employees get from their children, during the work day when the kids are at school, and very few of those calls would come close to qualifying as an emergency. A previous poster nailed it -- co-dependency. 15 years later, when the kid graduates from college, they have no idea how to make decisions and live with the consequences, because they have relied on mommy and daddy to do all of the medium and heavy lifting.

At age 21, our oldest son was drifting without benefit of a "rudder". College drop-out, doing menial jobs, no goals. My wife and I told him to go down and visit with the recruiters, because we weren't going to subsidize his aimlessness. That was 12 years ago. Today, he is a career USAF NCO, and has earned commendations at every rank he has held (that's him in the avatar). Tour in Iraq during the heaviest fighting, and two tours in Afghanistan. Married to a great gal. He has accomplished all of this on his own, and he has made us proud.

Bottom line -- at some point, they gotta be pushed out of the nest, so they can be adults. As long as mom and dad are making decisions and financing their lives, the kids will never be full-fledged adults.

Caveat -- I know that there are young adults who lose their jobs and move back in with parents until they can get back on their feet with new employment. That's a whole different situation. Typically, those folks can't wait to get out of their parents' home again.
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Old 01-24-2013, 09:32   #19
Dennis in MA
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.

Things will be ok, OP.
Maybe.

I see an awful lot of 60-80 yr old parents giving up their golden years to help Jr. and his family out somehow.

What are they raising in that next generation? Grampa will be dead when III is old enough to want someone to do something for him. Then what?

I've got a client doing this. He's 83. His YOUNGEST child (of 4) is 50. EVERYONE expects Grampa to help bail them out. Some day, he's going to die. Not only will you have pre-retirees wandering around without a clue how to live, you've got a whole new generation - from mid-30's to gradeschool - that can't fend for themselves either.


This is far different from 50-100 years ago when your parents lived with you. Back then, they'd live with you and YOU were boss and an ADULT. Today, YOU are boss and THEY are there to just give you stuff because you are still a CHILD.

I'm betting I could make a mint with 2 books:

One on how to kick your sorry kids out of your lives.

One on how to act like an adult for the just-kicked kids. Maybe sell it as a 2-pack.
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Old 01-24-2013, 11:17   #20
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.
This.

Yes, some things are different now than they were, but lots of things are the same.

Yes, we're raising a lot of losers, but we're raising a lot of good folks too. Honestly that's always been true.
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Things will be ok, OP.
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Old 01-24-2013, 15:03   #21
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.

Things will be ok, OP.
Unfortunately there have been a lot of terrible wars, famines, and outright destructions of civilizations through all that time back to the cave paintings.

Bemoaning tastes in music is one thing. Concern over a large portion of the younger generation having no applicable life skills or knowledge, and being granted the same voting power as the old and wise, and being told that voting is the cool thing to do, doesn't bode well for the future of the greatest nation the world once had.
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Old 01-24-2013, 15:37   #22
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Concern over a large portion of the younger generation having no applicable life skills or knowledge,
In many ways, today's generation is the best-educated generation of people in the history of ever.

Life skills get picked up through experience; you learned them the same way I learned them and the same way that today's kids will learn them--by making mistakes.

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and being granted the same voting power as the old and wise
The "old and wise" are the ones who voted us into this mess in the first place. If the "old and wise" were truly wise, they'd let Social Security and Medicare die instead of insisting on driving the nation into bankruptcy or mortgaging the future work of their grandkids.
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Old 01-24-2013, 22:59   #23
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.

Things will be ok, OP.
Pretty much this. There have always been people who depended on their parents long after they should be independent, and there have always been parents that coddled their kids to the point that they can't do a thing for themselves. On the flipside, there still are plenty of people who make it without parental support, whose parents are unwilling or unable to help out, etc. One example should not cast doubt on an entire generation of people.
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Old 01-26-2013, 01:18   #24
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Dating back to the earliest cave paintings, the line of older generations bemoaning the younger one remains unbroken.

Things will be ok, OP.

Ahhh, a post with actual wisdom in it. Someone get a Mod on this, ASAP!
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:46   #25
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In general I'm in agreement. Most people in my generation (28) and younger are useless wastes of DNA.

I will disagree with your last rules thou. There isn't anything wrong with keeping in touch with ones parents. I only talk to my mom on Sundays but my fiancee talks to her mom for about 5-10 minutes per day. She's still a very productive member of society.

I can't imagine why some parents/kids are like that. I was trying to do everything myself ever since I was a little kid. I didn't even want my mom to make me a bowl of cereal I would have rather done it myself.

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