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Old 01-09-2013, 11:48   #1
Glock20 10mm
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Wow... I am too masculine for where I work? WTF?!?!

So Monday I had a meeting with my boss (we have one every week or two to touch base and see where projects are going and what's coming up and so forth) and I get the normal "you're doing a great job!", "I am pleased with the data accuracy..." and so forth. Great! I am doing above and beyond and holding high standards for my job.

Then I get this bomb dropped on me... "There have been some complaints that you are intimidating people by your presence."

What did you just say boss? It appears that I am too masculine for where I work and that because I carry myself with confidence (I am not a small man, nor excessively large, 6'3" @ 215lbs) people are intimidated by me. I am polite and cordial when speaking to people. But apparently because I walk with my head up high, I look people in the eye when I speak to them and I speak with confidence and a deep solid resonating voice (what my woman tells me) I am intimidating and I have to "tone it down".

I had a very difficult time keeping my cool at this point of the conversation. But I made my point clear, I was raised in a Marine family with Marine discipline and pride. I was raised to be proud of who and what I am and to be confident in my abilities in life. I was raised to speak with pride and to be heard clearly and to not be ashamed of my ability to speak clearly. I then served 14 years before being medically separated, in the Navy and further solidified my confidence and pride.

I will not change who I am just because someone wets their pants at my presence. I was clear that this was out of line and that if this came up again I would pursue legal action. My boss pretty much agrees with me, but he has to tell me what's going on. Anyhow the conversation continued and apparently they have wimpification classes... and I have been signed up for a couple. I am not happy about it at all.

Yes, I still have my job. My superiors all know who I am and know I am a good man with solid conviction and I get the job done, on time and correct. But with this new bit of info I will be stepping up my search for a new job. But I ask myself... will it be any better anywhere else I go?
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:56   #2
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Depends on the state and the city or town.contrary to your situation, I was hired partly because of masculinity and authoritative presentation, even tough my job field does not require it (network tech). But since such job is at a Middle School, student discipline is paramount and when students deal with strict authoritative adults, they stay in line.
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Old 01-09-2013, 11:57   #3
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I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:08   #4
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Hang in there my Man 'cause sooner or later that presence will help you lead all those girly metrosexuals, who like to manicure their body parts; as they need to be led.

Finding your way out of that college also might help expedite that as well. Best of luck and keep standing tall.

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Old 01-09-2013, 12:31   #5
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Hang in there my Man 'cause sooner or later that presence will help you lead all those girly metrosexuals, who like to manicure their body parts; as they need to be led.

Finding your way out of that college also might help expedite that as well. Best of luck and keep standing tall.

Roger that!!!

Every level and every part of this nation is in desperate need of leadership. Do not bend the character you have at the mention of this absolute Bravo Sierra. Those that are somehow "intimidated" by you would be the very first ones to look to you if the shieza hit the fan in the form of some physical security or natural disaster threat occurred. Some of the men wish they were you and some of the women want to be with you. These days vise-versa too I suppose, some of the men want to be with you and some of the women want to be you.... all that is out of my realm of understanding so I'll leave that to somebody else to discuss. Seriously though, with a polite smile thank the boss for his input and then press on.
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Old 01-09-2013, 17:08   #6
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)

Well there is your problem. A man cannot act with confidence around that campus. It intimidates the people with no confidence and that's bad for the wimpy group, Makes them feel more inadequate.

Shame on you for feeling you can have pride in your work. An attitude like that can get you fired around paranoid liberals.

Shape up and keep your head down, don't look anyone in the eye when addressing them and act like everyone is going to hit you. You will get along fine.
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:11   #7
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)
Maybe you could try wearing pink shirts. Sounds like nonsense to me. It is your height and they are fraid of you.
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Old 01-11-2013, 06:28   #8
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Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
I am working at a college (sadly one of the more liberal ones at that.)
So what we can infer is that your college is tolerant of men and women of all beliefs, race, sexual orientation, etc - EXCEPT men who actually act like men?

Liberal tolerance indeed.

Wonder what they would say if a gorgeous, well-put-together blonde lady were to apply for a job?

You could threaten to sue them for discrimination against you because you are vertically-enhanced, non-masculinity-deficient(by their standards at least) and because of your physical appearance and veteran status.

They might just have to rename the school Glock20 10mm University!
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Old 01-11-2013, 07:17   #9
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I faced a similar issue in the past; I was working as a security manager for major medical manufacturer and during a performance evaluation, I was told that I didn't smile enough.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:00   #10
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Call HR and complain that you've been harassed. You're protected under the Veterans status, so get it on record now about your fellow employees discriminating against you. Two can play at that game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glock20 10mm View Post
So Monday I had a meeting with my boss (we have one every week or two to touch base and see where projects are going and what's coming up and so forth) and I get the normal "you're doing a great job!", "I am pleased with the data accuracy..." and so forth. Great! I am doing above and beyond and holding high standards for my job.

Then I get this bomb dropped on me... "There have been some complaints that you are intimidating people by your presence."

What did you just say boss? It appears that I am too masculine for where I work and that because I carry myself with confidence (I am not a small man, nor excessively large, 6'3" @ 215lbs) people are intimidated by me. I am polite and cordial when speaking to people. But apparently because I walk with my head up high, I look people in the eye when I speak to them and I speak with confidence and a deep solid resonating voice (what my woman tells me) I am intimidating and I have to "tone it down".

I had a very difficult time keeping my cool at this point of the conversation. But I made my point clear, I was raised in a Marine family with Marine discipline and pride. I was raised to be proud of who and what I am and to be confident in my abilities in life. I was raised to speak with pride and to be heard clearly and to not be ashamed of my ability to speak clearly. I then served 14 years before being medically separated, in the Navy and further solidified my confidence and pride.

I will not change who I am just because someone wets their pants at my presence. I was clear that this was out of line and that if this came up again I would pursue legal action. My boss pretty much agrees with me, but he has to tell me what's going on. Anyhow the conversation continued and apparently they have wimpification classes... and I have been signed up for a couple. I am not happy about it at all.

Yes, I still have my job. My superiors all know who I am and know I am a good man with solid conviction and I get the job done, on time and correct. But with this new bit of info I will be stepping up my search for a new job. But I ask myself... will it be any better anywhere else I go?
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:04   #11
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Call HR and complain that you've been harassed. You're protected under the Veterans status, so get it on record now about your fellow employees discriminating against you. Two can play at that game.
Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:14   #12
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Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
I don't run to mommy either, but I was taught by my drill sergeants that in order to defeat your enemies, you have to be ready to better them at their games.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:15   #13
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I don't run to mommy either, but I was taught by my drill sergeants that in order to defeat your enemies, you have to be ready to better them at their games.
True statement!
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:28   #14
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True statement!
The law is the law.

There was a chick at work who threatened to complain to HR about me for sexual something or another because I had a picture of my then very hot girlfriend in skimpy outfit on my computer screen. She at the same time had on her computer screen a photo of a firemen calendar that had the firemen half dressed in their various uniforms and in sexy poses. So I told her that I'd make the same complaint to HR about her because I've found the photos of half naked men sexually offensive.

I also told her that she may be a woman but she's also white while I'm a veteran AND an oriental. My two minorities protected groups outweighs her one.
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Old 01-09-2013, 16:14   #15
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I don't run to mommy either, but I was taught by my drill sergeants that in order to defeat your enemies, you have to be ready to better them at their games.
Right!
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Old 01-11-2013, 19:53   #16
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Are you sure you are not a loudmouth blowhard?

Regards,
Comrade Happyguy
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Old 01-12-2013, 07:51   #17
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I don't run to mommy either, but I was taught by my drill sergeants that in order to defeat your enemies, you have to be ready to better them at their games.
X2, I weep for what my Country is becoming. Hell at my job someone quipped at breakfast that the assembled group owned over 100 firearms (and that was probably on the low side

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Old 01-12-2013, 09:17   #18
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I don't run to mommy either, but I was taught by my drill sergeants that in order to defeat your enemies, you have to be ready to better them at their games.
Classic Sun Tzu.
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Old 01-12-2013, 10:00   #19
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Classic Sun Tzu.
In today's society you have to learn to play games and most of us "men" don't like games. So being sneaky and devious has to be gleaned.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:14   #20
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Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
Be sure to ask your HR representative how many female employees have been required to take masculinity classes in the past because they were acting "too feminine"? Frame your current assigned classes up in that light and let them know that you feel it is sexual harassment in-and-of-itself to treat traditional male characteristics and behaviors as inherently bad while treating traditional female characteristics and behaviors as the acceptable norm.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:52   #21
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Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
Glad to hear your doing that, beat them at their own stupid little game. They need to know that if they truly want to create that type of atmosphere, there will be repercussions.
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Old 01-09-2013, 13:09   #22
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Glad to hear your doing that, beat them at their own stupid little game. They need to know that if they truly want to create that type of atmosphere, there will be repercussions.
You can not beat them "at their own game". The "Over Lords" have taken control and left you no security , or power !

All anti Unions should take a look at history (Nuclear Jack Welch-GE , Ragan-omicis with it's 'trickle down , lean and mean , can do ethics ) and what we should have learned by now.

Profiteers , call the shots now and no , you have no-one to cover your back now . You are a family man so you need to take a step back and look at it another way.The "Ball" is not in our court anymore so ?

Employers have become "Over Lords" so as one family man to another , know your limits and chill the "Testosterone" !
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Old 01-11-2013, 15:24   #23
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Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
Or suggest that you will use your bosses skull as a bowl for your frosted flakes in the morning if he brings this up to you again....no don't say that might not work...
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Old 01-12-2013, 06:16   #24
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Excellent! I didn't even think of that. But I suppose that's because I don't go running to "mommy" every time I think someone is doing me "wrong". I'll take you suggestion and run with it.
Just an fyi:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jmaureen...ourt-says-yes/

hope all turns out well.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:39   #25
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Call HR and complain that you've been harassed. You're protected under the Veterans status, so get it on record now about your fellow employees discriminating against you. Two can play at that game.
HR IS NOT YOUR FRIEND. For all you know HR may be behind it and may have received the complaint about you and told your boss to do something about it.

Better just to 'shuffle'. Just smile and say that you understand the concern and will do you best to tone it down... and then just keep on doing what you're doing.
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