This isn't adding up. Taking your tax return out of the conversation for a sec, you make 75k a year? You live in San Diego? You have three kids and a wife who doesn't work?
How in the world do you afford to live on what you make? Do you have money from an inheritance or something?
75k is just not a lot of money, especially for that location and your situation.
The past is the past, the future hasn't happened yet, so today is linguine and clam sauce!