I liken the death of a loved one to walking face first into a telephone pole with no warning. At first it is just nothing but shock and pain and confusion and that damn pole and the pain is the entire world. Over time though you begin to see the person you have lost as a whole life again, not just their dying. After a while you can remember fun times, and funny times and even sad or unhappy times that aren't related to their dying. My father has been gone for 30 years and I still hate the memories of his illness and death, but I can now see him in my mind before he was ill, saying something funny, doing something he enjoyed or building something. Those memories help with the pain. Hold fast to who you are, don't let any anger you have at life transfer to the other people in your life and you can get through this. God bless you and your family.
Decent law abiding people must fear criminals and the law while criminals have nothing to fear.