We all deal with loss differently. Knowing or not, I look at it as part of life. I lost a lot of friends throughout High School and my dad's father in '99 and it hit me sort of hard. After that I accepted everyone dies and while I will miss them, they had a good life and I was glad I could be part of it. My paternal grandmother passed in 04 and I cried once, but loved every moment I spent with her and will always cherish her strength. My maternal grandfather died last month. I saw him 15 minutes before he died after 5 hours in the car.
I cannot speak for losing a parent or child, and to that end I am sure my current method of dealing will go out the window.
Just know that you have the right to feel however you feel and if you need to scream, shout, cry, hide in a corner, it's ok. Do what you need to do for you. There are lots of folks here for you, some of which I am sure you know well enough to talk privately with. I wish I had better words of wisdom, but I am just not that deep.
Lots of hugs Mrs. VR