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Old 03-01-2013, 10:51   #20
JFrame
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Mid-Atlantic, US of A
Posts: 32,517
I USED to think that a shotgun was the greatest defensive tool on earth. But one night, I heard the sound of someone breaking in through the front door. I immediately got up and ran to the back door, where I kept my shotgun "staged" in a closet along with some loose shells. Running now to the front door, I fumbled with the shells and dropped them all on the floor except one. This, despite my panic and adrenaline rush, I managed to load into my pump shotgun.

But again in my panic, I kept jacking the slide on the shotgun -- ejecting the one shell I did have and continuing to pump uselessly. You may ask how my thumb managed to stay on the slide release that whole time I'm moving around. To this day, I couldn't say -- I guess $h1t happens.

I got to the front door, and the sound of me repeatedly racking the slide must have scared the attempted house-breaker away, because I opened the front door to see him fleeing into the night. I immediately fell to the floor, threw up my guts, and wept like a little girl.

This experience has taught me that shotguns are useless for home defense, and that one would be better served with a cell phone set to speed-dial 911 and a Depends adult diaper.









[/satire]

(with the help of a leftist article posted a few weeks ago)
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