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Old 02-22-2013, 05:47   #5
HKLovingIT
Resident Evil
 
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Out On The Tiles
Posts: 4,372
Yup, it's tough to stand up in front of a crowd that's expecting you to entertain them for ten minutes.

My feedback for you is to write jokes that connect with the audience's personal experiences more. Those are going to get the best reaction because there is something in the joke that they can relate to.

For the most part the material you had was outside the experiences of most audience members I think. That makes the material sound too contrived and doesn't leave much for them to connect with. Instead of being able to imagine themselves in the situations you were describing, it got a little awkward a couple of times.

You got a better reaction to the joke about the nun and the one about your mom smoking pot and sending you outside. The story line about your mom's gay husband went on too long. You had three main jokes in there and they were a little flat.

It's good that you filmed yourself. You can review what's working and what you need to tweak.
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