Originally Posted by Dennis in MA
You come across strong in person?? P'SHAW! I'd have never guessed.
Yap, complain, stomp, cry, whatever. But before, during and after that, if you are worth your salt, you'll do a double-check to see if you might resemble the person he/she was speaking about. It COULD be you. And do you really want to go through life being thought of as "that guy"???
I'm not saying you are or aren't. I don't know you or the leprechaun sitting on your shoulder in your avatar, but when I hear something negative about myself, even if I'm ADAMANT it's them, I do a pretty thorough self-check anyhow.
Definitely. Haven't you ever heard someone complain that other people think something about them and are completely wrong and you find yourself agreeing with the other people?
You can start asking people about it starting with people you know. A lot of times it's people who don't know you.
Other times, it's the mannerisms.
Walk over to their desk, hand them a task, say "This needs to be completed by tomorrow 8am" and walk away. Simple, efficient.
Change it to a "Hello. Can you to take care of this? It needs to be completed by tomorrow 8am"
Same results with a better impression with a few more words.
I've met some long term ex-military that don't realize they're not in the military and don't realize that certain things are different in the civilian world.
I'm very straight forward and some people appreciate it and sometimes it causes me problems. I was in a meeting and told them the way they were doing it was wrong and the right way to do it. Everyone got defensive and went against me. It took the entire meeting of me answering their questions about their way to get them to realize they were wrong. Maybe if I stated it differently, I could have been done in 5 minutes.
I also know I could be fired for insubordination if a higher-up takes something the wrong way. Not that I always care if I'm fired since I'm prepared for it.