She's right, I'm still here. And you're right, I sometimes stop posting when I'm hurting worse than usual. Part of it is that I was thinking I'd be more healed up from the surgery by now than I am. It's not a case of anything having gone wrong, more a case of unrealistic expectations and wishful thinking.
Plus, I have it in my head that I should be in better shape mentally than I am now. I know I should be all happy that my cancer is in remission right now, and I am. But the nightmares, lack of sleep, guilt, chest pain and other crap is still hanging around. Not to mention the pain from being gutted like a fish, and in my new boobs.
Pardon my crankiness, I know you folks have spent a lot of time caring about me, and praying for me, and I should be better by now. I'm getting that way, but too slowly for my tastes.
Thanks for listening while I vent.