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Old 12-05-2012, 07:16   #269
Peace Warrior
CLM Number 221
Am Yisrael Chai
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Join Date: Jan 2007
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I'm waiting for my ride, it's roughly 3 AM, and I notice a Starbucks Coffee house is open a few blocks down from where I am sitting on a bus stop bench. The buses are not running this late/early in my hometown, but that bench was a more comfortable place to rest due to the weather we were having at the time.

I decided to walk down to the Starbucks, and am about to order a Venti black, when these two girls cut in front of me. I'm like, "what the banana?!?" But since living through the Popeye's event, I didn't really care as my ride was still like 30 minutes away. In fact, at first, the time it was taking for the girls to order allowed me more time eye over those huge, made daily right there in the store, double chocolate fudge brownies.

The first girl ordered here coffee alright, but the second girl was taking way too long. You know those types with the really intricate coffee orders. They go on this spiel about half this, half that, light this, light that, non- non that, etc etc etc....

Why do people have to make making a cup of coffee so difficult? I guess that's why they are called baristas(sp?) and not coffee clerks.

After about 5 minutes, with even the eyes of the barista rolling in disgust, I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out my G22, and while keeping it pointed in a safe direction and utilizing expert trigger discipline, I told the girl to either finish her order in the next 10 seconds, or I was going to get my coffee and brownies first.

The barista gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up from behind the counter, and then we both stared at the girl awaiting her decision. Luckily, the girl decided to let me order first. (I know what some of you might be thinking, but I had a throw away G27 on my left ankle, in an Uncle Mike's, for that contingency.)

I decided to buy all the brownies cause the first one I was handed was still warm. So with a cup of piping hot joe, and two bags full of warm brownies, I walked back down to the bus stop bench.

My ride called me and said they were running a little late. I said no problem, I got a surprise for you when you get here. I then felt my butt getting a little warm. Upon discreet inspection, I realized that I had somehow managed to sit down on one of the brownie bags. So now I had to call my ride and tell them to stop somewhere and pick up a towel or a piece of plastic as I had unknowingly sat on some brownies at the bus stop bench and didn't want to ruin the seats in the car by getting brownie stuff all over them.

Just as I was hanging up, a Cop cruiser did a REALLY slow roll by with both Cops eyeballing me. I'm thinking, great, the girl at the Starbucks called the Po-Po on me. What a liberal tool you know? Anyway, less than a minute later, a different Cop car does another really slow roll by me, this one is marked as a K9 unit, and the Cop driving is eyeballing the whole time he goes by.

Long story short, it took roughly 2 hours of explaining, along with a statement from the barista, to convince the Cops that I hadn't actually messed my pants after some telephone repair guy got the drop on me while I was trying to break into a bank where he was working at the time.

These are my only three events that I had to pull my gun, if you don't count that time I was hunting in a state up North (i.e., Georgia), but that's a whole nuther story.
“After a shooting spree, they always want to take the guns away from the people who didn't do it.” - William S. Burroughs
"Nothing we're gonna do is going to fundamentally alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that [our gun ban legislation] will bring gun deaths down..." - VPOTUS Joe Biden
"Love 'Em All!!! Let Jehovah sort 'em out." - The Holy Bible
"You gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

Last edited by Peace Warrior; 12-05-2012 at 07:37..
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