One reason the 1911 is more manageable is that it has a steel frame. The gun is heavy! And it's heavy down low where it helps.
There is no question the .40 is snappy. Go to a range that rents the various guns and try them. Here's a test that anyone can do: Using slow fire at 7 yards, see how tight your group is with a 9mm and then with a .40 S&W. I would almost bet that the 9mm is going to be tighter. It isn't the gun, it isn't the ammo, it's the flinch.
And make sure you are using 'real' ammo. In the .40 S&W try the Federal Classic 180 gr JHP at 990 fps. That's what LE uses around here. I don't know what the equivalent 9mm might be but perhaps you can find something marked 'NATO', probably 124 gr FMJ.
Given that the modern 9mm SD ammo is nearly as capable as the .40 stuff, there is every reason to consider shooting 9mm. It really comes down to hitting the target. You can see where even NYPD had a horrific amount of collateral damage in their most recent highly publicized shooting. You absolutely must hit the target.
In my view, the probability of hitting the target with a 9mm is much higher than with the .40 S&W with only a modest amount of practice. Sure, if you want to run through a few hundred rounds per week for months on end, you'll be a pretty good shooter. But, if 50 rounds is a big day on the range, you're likely to be better with a 9mm than a .40 S&W. BTW, around here LEOs qualify with 50 rounds 4 times per year. That's a walloping 200 rounds per year unless they do some homework on their own dime (and they don't!). I shoot that much or more every time I go out and while I don't shoot as much as I did when I was younger, I still get out a dozen or more times per year.
Try as many guns as you can and then decide. And, no, I don't hate the .40 S&W. I am about to start reloading it and my first batch will be 2000 rounds. I expect to reload 4000 rounds by the end of January. That's because I have 4000 rounds of brass... Guess how I got them! No, they're not 'free-range' brass.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up." - Lily Tomlin