Nope, you're wrong. You could not possibly be more wrong. Firearms instructors are absolutely, positively the wrong people to ask on this topic....which is why about the only thing you are correct about in your post, is that 95% of firearms instructors would recommend a snubby for a new female shooter/ccwer.
I have taught several females to shoot, and I'm 100% sure that the worst person to ask for suggestions on a pistol are experienced male shooters. 99% of them just push into a new female shooters hands what they
think is the right answer.
"Here's a .38/.357 snubby, try it out."
"Ewww, I don't like that, it hurts to shoot. I'm done."
Yeah, that's the right idea.