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-   -   12 year olds on dating sites? (http://glocktalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1507683)

Herzeleid 10-28-2013 06:21

12 year olds on dating sites?
 
....What the hell?.... At first I was thinking "what the hell is a guy doing meeting up with a 12 year old off a dating site"

....Then I realized, what the hell is a 12 year old doing signing up on a dating site?...


http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/l...,1610966.story

DaleGribble 10-28-2013 06:33

Yeah she shouldn't have been on a dating site but this guy new she wasn't an adult. I have an 11 year old step daughter who is almost 12 and their is no way any man with any common sense could think she was 18, not even close.

Herzeleid 10-28-2013 06:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaleGribble (Post 20720408)
Yeah she shouldn't have been on a dating site but this guy new she wasn't an adult. I have an 11 year old step daughter who is almost 12 and their is no way any man with any common sense could think she was 18, not even close.

I agree. Not trying to justify his actions one bit.


I was just, shocked, and still am in shock to think why a 12 year old would even sign up for crap like that. :dunno:

Baba Louie 10-28-2013 07:35

Quote:

...in shock to think why a 12 year old would even sign up for crap like that.
Either a sting by the Coppers or someone looking for money and did not get paid? (My first guesses anyway)

Some 12 year olds do not look or act their age. Others have yet to grow up.

M2 Carbine 10-28-2013 07:51

Quote:

I was just, shocked, and still am in shock to think why a 12 year old would even sign up for crap like that.
Because her parents don't stop her from doing to do it.

racerford 10-28-2013 09:19

The prosecutors, had an interesting choice of words, considering she was 12. I am reasonably confident a 12 year old cannot not legally consent to sex with an adult, even in Chicago. So why would the prosecutors say this " where they had sex twice, prosecutors said.". Why would they not say "where she was raped twice"?

tsmo1066 10-28-2013 09:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Herzeleid (Post 20720417)
I agree. Not trying to justify his actions one bit.


I was just, shocked, and still am in shock to think why a 12 year old would even sign up for crap like that. :dunno:


There are more than a few pre-teens who simply can't wait to be 'all grown up' and are willing to put themselves out there on dating sites, chat rooms, etc., and some of them can pass off as being much older. Most 12 year-old girls are just that, little girls...and they look it. Others, however, hit puberty a lot earlier and by age 12 can easily buy beer or pass for a college girl with the right makeup.

aplcr0331 10-28-2013 09:44

Goof grief. Reason #412 why I'm lucky to have all boys.

tsmo1066 10-28-2013 09:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by aplcr0331 (Post 20720733)
Goof grief. Reason #412 why I'm lucky to have all boys.

Like the old saying goes, when you have a boy, you've only got one 'willie' to worry about. When you have a girl, you've got to worry about every 'willie' in town.

MtBaldy 10-28-2013 09:55

Doesn't excuse it but it sounds like he was set up. Still should have figured out she wasn't 18 when she got in the car.

wjv 10-28-2013 10:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by racerford (Post 20720674)
So why would the prosecutors say this " where they had sex twice, prosecutors said.". Why would they not say "where she was raped twice"?

Probably because she 'consented', but once she got home momma started with the "where were you", "who were you with". Once the story came out it became rape.

Of course, it WAS rape regardless if she "consented" of not since a 12 year old can not consent.

I could see that maybe he didn't know she was 12 while on the internet. But once he saw her in person it is rather unlikely that he didn't realize that she was under 18. At which point he should have said: "sorry" and drove away. . .

wjv 10-28-2013 10:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by tsmo1066 (Post 20720723)
Most 12 year-old girls are just that, little girls...and they look it. Others, however, hit puberty a lot earlier and by age 12 can easily buy beer or pass for a college girl with the right makeup.

My 14 daughter year old is pretty mature, but you would have to be Ray Charles to not be able to tell that she is under 18. . .

I do understand what your saying. I'd bet that 98% of the guys here have been someplace; saw a girl and though "wow she's really hot"; and then see here face and realize that she is WAY under 18. Usually the face is the give away, even if they do have the body of a 22 year old. . .

tsmo1066 10-28-2013 10:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by wjv (Post 20720784)
My 14 daughter year old is pretty mature, but you would have to be Ray Charles to not be able to tell that she is under 18. . .

My 13 year-old stepdaughter started "blooming" at age 10 and now wears a D cup. She isn't allowed to wear makeup to school, aside from a little blush, etc., but when she does put on the full paint-job, she can EASILY pass for an 18 year-old, at least as far as looks and figure are concerned.

That being said, she certainly doesn't sound or act like an 18 year-old and it would take a pretty stupid or willingly ignorant person to spend any amount of time at all with her and not realize she is waaaaay under-aged.

jp3975 10-29-2013 02:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by wjv (Post 20720784)
My 14 daughter year old is pretty mature, but you would have to be Ray Charles to not be able to tell that she is under 18. . .

Just because YOU have a 14 year old that wouldnt pass for 18 doesnt mean all girls are like your daughter.

Ive got a friend who has a sister that would hang out with us back in the day. She tried to date 18 year olds and told everyone she was 16. I didnt doubt her. Turned out she was 11. Had a d cup and looked every bit of 16.

Ive seen a number of girls in that age range that could pass for much older.

We cant see this particular girl so its hard to tell if he shouldve known or not.

But he was on a site that only adults are supposed to be on and she did lie about her age.

Personally, I think that if adults are going to be charged when teens lie about their age, then the teens should be charged too. There is obviously proof here that she said she was 18.

If he legitimately believed that, then why should he go to jail if he didnt realize he was doing something illegal?

On the other end of the spectrum, ive known several girls of age that could pass for 12.

My currant gf is studying to be a teacher. She did something where she sat in on an 8th grade class and they thought she was a new student.:rofl:

AZ Husker 10-29-2013 02:32

I wonder why any adult male is paying for a dating site. Then sending out an invitation to a minor REALLY makes me wonder about him. Most are either prostitutes or gold diggers.

jp3975 10-29-2013 02:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ Husker (Post 20722875)
I wonder why any adult male is paying for a dating site. Then sending out an invitation to a minor REALLY makes me wonder about him. Most are either prostitutes or gold diggers.

Maybe on craigslist. Not necessarily on dating sites.

Millions do it.

AZ Husker 10-29-2013 03:14

That is sad. To advertise yourself on something like Craigslist? Kinda like an old refrigerator?

Atlas 10-29-2013 03:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by M2 Carbine (Post 20720513)
Because her parents don't stop her from doing to do it.

Exactly.


Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ Husker (Post 20722894)
That is sad. To advertise yourself on something like Craigslist? Kinda like an old refrigerator?

Its a sad world.

jp3975 10-29-2013 06:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by AZ Husker (Post 20722894)
That is sad. To advertise yourself on something like Craigslist? Kinda like an old refrigerator?

It has a dating/personals section.

Lots of fakes on there and a disproportionate number of men looking for women and men pretending to be women.

Stevekozak 10-29-2013 06:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by jp3975 (Post 20722869)
Just because YOU have a 14 year old that wouldnt pass for 18 doesnt mean all girls are like your daughter.

Ive got a friend who has a sister that would hang out with us back in the day. She tried to date 18 year olds and told everyone she was 16. I didnt doubt her. Turned out she was 11. Had a d cup and looked every bit of 16.

Ive seen a number of girls in that age range that could pass for much older.

We cant see this particular girl so its hard to tell if he shouldve known or not.

But he was on a site that only adults are supposed to be on and she did lie about her age.

Personally, I think that if adults are going to be charged when teens lie about their age, then the teens should be charged too. There is obviously proof here that she said she was 18.

If he legitimately believed that, then why should he go to jail if he didnt realize he was doing something illegal?

On the other end of the spectrum, ive known several girls of age that could pass for 12.

My currant gf is studying to be a teacher. She did something where she sat in on an 8th grade class and they thought she was a new student.:rofl:

The article says that he told her to turn off her cell phone so that they would not be bothered by her mother......I am pretty sure he knew she was not of appropriate age. That said, I have often wondered about men who wanted to date females that, while they are of legitimate age, look like they are 14 years old. To me, there is something a little creepy about that.

racerford 10-29-2013 08:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by jp3975 (Post 20722869)
......Personally, I think that if adults are going to be charged when teens lie about their age, then the teens should be charged too. There is obviously proof here that she said she was 18.

If he legitimately believed that, then why should he go to jail if he didnt realize he was doing something illegal?

........

What would the teens be charged with?

Wouldn't every teen in a consensual relationship just lie and say they told the adult that they were 18 or whatever?

Check your state law and see if it says anything about "intent" or "knowingly" on the age of consent; most likely not. It probably doesn't even have "reasonable person" language.

MtBaldy 10-29-2013 09:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by wjv (Post 20720784)
My 14 daughter year old is pretty mature, but you would have to be Ray Charles to not be able to tell that she is under 18. . .

.

I found out years after the fact my 14 yo step-sister and her 15 yo girl friend used to sneak out after they were supposed to be in bed and go to bars using fake IDs showing they were 18. From those bars they sometimes went home with 20 something guys. I've often wondered how many of those guys knew the girls they were with weren't 18 as advertised. The bartenders I'm sure knew the IDs were fake but since both girls were smoking hot when dressed up they were good for business. Of course this was all over 40 years ago so there's no way to know now.

Bren 10-29-2013 09:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by racerford (Post 20720674)
The prosecutors, had an interesting choice of words, considering she was 12. I am reasonably confident a 12 year old cannot not legally consent to sex with an adult, even in Chicago. So why would the prosecutors say this " where they had sex twice, prosecutors said.". Why would they not say "where she was raped twice"?

Because it comes off sounding a little silly where the girl advertised for it and willingly did it, regardless of the legal age of consent.

I don't recall too many males I knew who weren't trying to have sex by age 12 and it wasn't unheard of for girls to do the same and that was back in the 70's. This one seems to have been a little more extreme, but it's 2013.

Bren 10-29-2013 09:41

As others have said: in the first town where I was a police officer there was a 13-year-old alleged prostitute who you could never convince me was a day under 20. Ended up getting killed in a car wreck with a 30-something guy in the middle of the night, while udner the influence of drugs and alcohol.

wprebeck 10-29-2013 10:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atlas (Post 20722907)
Its a sad world.

I agree - especially when you have folks who claim to be keepers of the peace, but brag about hanging out with felons. I mean, I hang out with them all day, too - but, it's not a social setting, though. Kinda my job, really.

But yeah, sad.



Oh - back on topic. :whistling:

That's why parents should be "parents", and not "friends". I monitor my children's internet activity all the time. Randomly, at that. My 14 year old has a tablet, a laptop, and now her first smartphone. At any given point, I'll do a random search, and call her over. I check her current site visit, along with a week or more of history. Deleting stuff isn't allowed, and if I catch her doing it, she's grounded for a month, to start.

I also check her text messages, and monitor those, as well. Facebook isn't allowed, so no worries about that. And yeah, I know there are ways around my checking - she's not going to be able to do that. Generally, I approach these checks as if I'm expecting her to hide something...I deal with inmates who are very creative about hiding things - my little girl isn't near as dissembling as one of them. Makes life a lot easier.

Point being, I am a father - not her friend. More people should try this, instead of being buddy-buddy with their kids. There's a time and place for that; there's also a time and place for laying down the law, and ensuring your kids follow the rules. Again, no worries there, since all my kids know where "that line" is.

I'm not saying I'm perfect, or that my kids are, either. Just that, usually when they do something sneaky, I've already caught them before they even realize they're busted. Between the crap I pulled as a kid myself, and having nearly 14 years of dealing with criminals and their nonsense, I've got a great BS detector. I'm sure they'll try and put one over on me from time to time - I'm also sure that they'll get caught quickly, and pay dearly. :supergrin:


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