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-   -   Redneck Test (http://glocktalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=1467297)

Eric 01-25-2013 11:14

Redneck Test
 
Two rednecks were given a special SAT test to meet their admission requirements to the Military Academy. Soon after the test began the first guy turns to the second guy and asks, "Old MacDonald had a what?"

The other replies, "He had a farm."

The first asks, "How do you spell it?"

To which the second replied, "E-I-E-I-O."

Glockdude1 01-25-2013 11:18

:rofl:

Eric 01-25-2013 11:21

A Redneck gets accepted to Harvard. On his first day, he is having trouble finding his way around. He walks up to two upperclassmen and asks, " Hey. Do y'all know where the library is at?" One of the upperclassman sniffs and says, "Here at Harvard, one doesn't end one's sentence with a preposition." The redneck thinks a moment and says, "Pardon me. Can you tell me where the library is at, you *******?"

Bill Powell 01-25-2013 11:34

A couple of hobos were caught in a crowd milling around the entrance to a theater featuring an opera that evening. One of them picked a pair of tickets someone had dropped so they were let into the theater with the crowd, giving them seats on the front row.

Curtain came up on the first act and all those dancers started dancing around on their tippy toes. Intermission was declared after the first act and the crowd went out for refreshments.

After a bit one of the hobos turned to his partner and asked, "Buford, how come you suppose they don't just hire taller dancers."

Paul53 01-25-2013 17:07

Why do rednecks have TGIF written on their shoes? So they remember that toes go in first!




Thank you. Thank you very much. I'll be here all week, and don't forget to tip your waitress.

*ASH* 01-25-2013 17:15

A redneck family are visiting a big city for the first time.

The father ans son are in the hotel lobby when the spot an elevator.

"What's that Paw?" The boy asked.

"I ain't never did see nothin' like that in my life" Replied the father.

Seconds later an old frail woman walks in the hotel door and hobbles to the elevator. She presses the button with her cain, waits for the doors to open and gets in.

The father and son, still amazed by this contraption, continue to watch.

They hear a ping noise and the doors open again. Out steps a beautiful 20 year old busty blonde.

The father looks at his son and says "Go get your Maw !"

countrygun 01-25-2013 17:29

When rednecks play tic-tac-toe they call it "Circles and Signatures"

Gray_Rider 01-26-2013 02:13

Do you good folks know what a "redneck" is? (Was actually)

Rednecks, a social slur, were people (dirt poor farmers usually) who could not afford a slave or slaves in the antibellem south. They had to do all their own work in the fields which meant a lot of stoop labor in the hot sun which lead them to suffer from badly sunburned necks. Slaves usually cost the current price of a mid to upper priced car today, remember, and nearly 90% or more of the southern population didn't own any slaves for this and other reasons.

Gray_Rider

Z71bill 01-26-2013 07:36

Mary Jo had just gotten out of the bathtub and her husband Bobby Joe had just jumped in the tub when someone knocked on the door.

Mary Jo grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself and went to see who was a calling on them.


It was Jim Bob from down the road -

Jim Bob saw that Mary Jo only had a towel on and said -

I will give you $500 in cash right now if you drop your towel --

Mary Jo thought for a second - then dropped her towel -

Jim Bob stared at her body for a good long while - then handed her $500 in cash and left.

Mary Jo goes back inside and Bobby Joe asks her - who was at the door?

Mary Jo tells him - it was just Jim Bob -

So the husband asks - did he say anything about the $500 he owes me?

Glockdude1 01-26-2013 08:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z71bill (Post 19913016)
Mary Jo had just gotten out of the bathtub and her husband Bobby Joe had just jumped in the tub when someone knocked on the door.

Mary Jo grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself and went to see who was a calling on them.


It was Jim Bob from down the road -

Jim Bob saw that Mary Jo only had a towel on and said -

I will give you $500 in cash right now if you drop your towel --

Mary Jo thought for a second - then dropped her towel -

Jim Bob stared at her body for a good long while - then handed her $500 in cash and left.

Mary Jo goes back inside and Bobby Joe asks her - who was at the door?

Mary Jo tells him - it was just Jim Bob -

So the husband asks - did he say anything about the $500 he owes me?

Nope........... :whistling:

Braken 01-26-2013 09:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by countrygun (Post 19911027)
When rednecks play tic-tac-toe they call it "Circles and Signatures"

Really made me laugh!!!

Kingarthurhk 01-26-2013 09:38

The Fighting Rednecks:

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the "United States Redneck Special Forces".

These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.


Atomic Punk 01-26-2013 10:00

all good jokes. i know of the original meaning of the term, but dont really care. a good majority of my family resembles the modern meaning. including my father and i :supergrin:

Kingarthurhk 01-26-2013 10:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Atomic Punk (Post 19913455)
all good jokes. i know of the original meaning of the term, but dont really care. a good majority of my family resembles the modern meaning. including my father and i :supergrin:

Neither do I. I come from a long line of rednecks.:supergrin: Any one for an RCC?

Gunny Lingus 01-26-2013 10:28

Redneck take his son to the zoo. At the elephant exhibit, the son sees the male elephants member hanging.

The son points and asks his father what that is.

Father says: "that is his *****".

Son says: "that's funny. When I was here with mom, she said it was nothing".

Father says: "well, your mother is spoiled son".

pizza_pablo 01-26-2013 18:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk (Post 19913471)
Neither do I. I come from a long line of rednecks.:supergrin: Any one for an RCC?

....and a MOOOONPIE! :supergrin:

Kingarthurhk 01-26-2013 18:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by pizza_pablo (Post 19915084)
....and a MOOOONPIE! :supergrin:

Neko wafers.:supergrin:

Glockerfella 01-26-2013 19:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kingarthurhk (Post 19915097)
Neko wafers.:supergrin:

Necco.

Hurricanes 01-26-2013 19:44

Not that I care, but does this mean we can start threads on jokes about other races? I always enjoy a good joke, but I can't understand how this thread was made. If I used a derogatory term about any other race/color I would be given an infraction, banned, or both.

Eric 01-26-2013 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricanes (Post 19915367)
Not that I care, but does this mean we can start threads on jokes about other races? I always enjoy a good joke, but I can't understand how this thread was made. If I used a derogatory term about any other race/color I would be given an infraction, banned, or both.

Has it ever occurred to you that you have gotten in trouble in the past because of YOU? Perhaps it isn't a conspiracy. Maybe you just have some impulse control issues and a maturity problem, as your attempt to piss in the Corn Flakes here suggests. If you are truly unhappy here, there is a big Internet out there.



And since when were rednecks considered a different race? Good grief.

Gareth68 01-26-2013 19:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricanes (Post 19915367)
Not that I care, but

Either you don't care, or... "but."

No need to embrace pussified speak like that.

So, you care, obviously.

Whats up?

Which joke got yer pee pee slapped?

You can tell me.

It won't leave this thread....

:dunno:

Hurricanes 01-26-2013 20:01

I never said I was unhappy, and mentioned I liked a good joke as much as the next person. I just can't put my head around starting a thread using a derogatory term. I'm Hispanic so the term doesn't bother me, but maybe there are other members that take issue with it.


Yes I have received infractions in the past. Yes, they were probably because of a bit of immaturity. I just don't feel it is right to start a thread called Redneck Test. Same way as some wouldn't appreciate threads started with "Coon Test", "Almond Eyes Test", etc.

Eric 01-26-2013 20:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricanes (Post 19915429)
I never said I was unhappy, and mentioned I liked a good joke as much as the next person. I just can't put my head around starting a thread using a derogatory term. I'm Hispanic so the term doesn't bother me, but maybe there are other members that take issue with it.


Yes I have received infractions in the past. Yes, they were probably because of a bit of immaturity. I just don't feel it is right to start a thread called Redneck Test. Same way as some wouldn't appreciate threads started with "Coon Test", "Almond Eyes Test", etc.

Seriously, you are really going to get offended on behalf of rednecks? Really? I swear, every time I think I have heard it all here, someone comes along and surprises me.

For God's sake, it is a thread about Freaking REDNECKS!!! They are not a race. They are not an endangered species. They are just folk. Lighten up. Eric


And for the record, I have NEVER seen a redneck take the term as derogatory, unless it was obviously intended that way.

13 ROMEO 01-26-2013 20:03

"Redneck" is a race? News to me!:dunno:

13 ROMEO 01-26-2013 20:05

Beat me by just that much!:wavey:


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